Hold my hand
sit near me
let me sink into your lap
just please don't leave me alone with my thoughts
or lack thereof

You see,
if you leave.
my head will not scatter into a million deadly shards
it will do quite the opposite
it will collapse

whatever you do, don't leave me,
not now.
you see if you leave
I lose my sanity
I lose my restraint

the second you turn your head and walk out that door
my eyes will well
my heart  will lose its rhythm
My hands  will shake
and my breath won't be able to claw its way up my throat anymore.

You don't have to say anything
you don't have to do anything
just please don't leave
I'm scared of what happens when you leave --
please don't leave...

Tell me,
Are you listening to these words?
They fell from my mouth.
Raindrops, scattering silence.
Through wisps of faint crackling,
The embers now ash. Before the throne of God
I called you Saviour
I called you Goddess
I called you Life Itself!
And now... Look!
I'm falling from reality,
Into a fictional anguish.
So listen, Please... Listen!
I do not hate, the way you impassioned my grasp.
I cannot be anything else,
But a light, flickering into dark skies.
I am you, or the part of you
That you cannot love, but do...

Thank you mom

for using harsher words,
than the boys in middle school did

for teaching me to love myself,
and then **** shaming me

I should let you know that all the boys at school were joking,
but from the tone in your voice I knew that you weren't

Thank you Mom

for bringing up impossible conversations,
in situations where I can't escape

like that lovely conversation in the car,
on the way home from school

the one about birth control,
when I desperately tried voice my opinion for the hundredth time

hoping that maybe you'd finally understand,
there was no need for it

nothing good or helpful came from it,
only inconvenience and discomfort

Thank you Mom

for leaving me stripped and naked,
with a spotlight shining on me

there's nowhere to go,
nowhere but out the car door onto the highway

that actually didn't seem like a bad option,
I always have preferred blood to tears

Thank you Mom

for expressing how you,
“don't want to raise your grandchild”

it's like, when I said I'm waiting,
it went through one ear and out the other, for the hundredth time

Thank you Mom

for giving me so much confidence,
and then taking it back, More easily than you gave it to me

Thank you Mom

for giving me such confidence,
that I'm a disappointment

Has anyone ever told you that you have a beautiful nail bed?

I was once told that if you give people compliments they don't usually receive they'll remember you better
So...

Has anyone ever told you that the freckles on your cheeks remind them of the Galaxy in the sky?
The galaxies that I thank God for every night because they're how I know that there's something bigger than me out there.

Has anyone ever told you the waves in your hair remind them of the Fibonacci spiral?
The one found in flower petals.
The one that so perfectly balances Beauty and nature and science.

Has anyone ever told you that your deep brown eyes look like they hold all of Earth's purity?

And that the Shimmer in them looks just like the Moon's bright light?
It isn't actually shining itself, but whose light comes from something much bigger
and much brighter
and much More Beautiful, than the tiny glimpse of light seen.

Has anyone ever told you that when they see the Shimmer in your eyes they know that the reflected light is coming from your soul?
That it is so bright
and so beautiful
and so endless, that it has found a way to shine into your eyes and out into mine.

Has anyone ever told you that watching you love something is addictive?
Seeing The Unbroken attention
time
and heart, you put into it is mesmerizing.

Has anyone ever told you that your lips look as soft as silk?

Has anyone ever told you that your hug feels like it could cure a heart attack?
The way you're so calm and so warm.

Has anyone ever told you, that they want you to remember them?

It was always so beautiful
Was love at first laugh
Always constant, always there
So much love, so much lust
Beautiful Love, Beautiful lust