You are blind
You can never see
All the anger built up in me
I hated life
I wanted out
You didn't care
You would just shout

I felt so alone
Thought I didn't need anyone
Turns out I just needed a mum

The black sheep
I was never apart
Furthest away from your heart
Things have changed
I'm growing old
I don't need you
You still feel cold


I'm now out of sight
Out of mind
I don't need you, I'll do alright
I don't need your blessing
Or your cash
Without your help I'll make a splash
Land on my feet with a crash


I'm happier than ever
My life's brand new
And most of all
I'm not like you.

Where were you
When I struggled to get home

Where were you
When I needed someone to confide in

Where were you
When I needed help

Where were you
When I was alone

Where were you
When I had nothing

Where were you
When I was scared

Where were you
When I was forced to bare myself

Where were you
When I needed helping hands

Where were you
When my life dwindled on life or death

Where were you
When I lost my sense of reality

Where were you
When I was being defiled

Where were you
When I was being filled with hate

Where were you
When I was surrounded by anger

Where were you
When I wanted to die

Where were you
When I wanted a hug

Where were you
When I needed confidence

Where were you
When my life was asunder

Where were you
When I felt used

Where were you
When I lost all sense of right

Where were you
When I began to forget

Where were you
When I began to deny

Where were you
When I sought only self-gratification

Where were you
When I desired truth

Where were you
When I desired understanding

Where were you
When my Mother wasn't to be found

I know where you were
You were watching me

You were watching me
Begin to hate myself

You were watching me
Be defiled

You were watching me
Struggle home

You were watching me
When I needed help

You were watching me
Deny the truth

You were watching me
Seek truth

You were watching me
Be surrounded with anger

You were watching me
Be live for and with hate

You were watching me
When I was alone

You were watching me
When I needed a confidant

You were watching me
Lose my sense of self

You were watching me
Seek after my own demise

You were watching me
Fill my cup with self-gratification

You were watching me
When I needed more hands

You were watching me
When I was scared

You were watching me
Be forced upon

You were watching me
As I was in need

You were watching me
As death knocked at my door

You were watching me
Need love and attention

You were watching me
Lose self-esteem

You were watching me
When I forgot truth

You were watching me
Believe lies

You were watching me
When I sought understanding

All this time you only watched
My own parents ONLY watched.

Looking in your eyes
Tells me something's wrong
Never began to realize
You've neglected for so long.

It seems you're never there
You never really try
And every time I want to be with you
You make up stupid lies.

I feel as if
I'm just your friend
That you hate being around
So don't pretend

Don't say you love me
With that dreadful tone
It doesn't make sense
Why you never answer your phone

I feel like you're dead
Because you're never there
You're dead to me
How is that fair

Do you ever cry over me?
Do you ever stop and wonder?
About how I am doing
You're just a silent thunder

So now when you need me
I hope you know I won't be here
I hope one day you read this
And it brings a world of fear

I don't want your hugs
And fake understanding

I'm sorry,
But I gotta say
I'll always love you
But never look my way!

Tell me how to love someone
who doesn't love me back.

Tell me how to respect someone
who doesn't deserve my respect.

Tell me how to trust someone
who betrayed me so badly.

Tell me how to care for someone
who never cared about me.

Tell me how to speak nicely to someone
who only spoke down to me with bad words.

Tell me how to get along with someone
who brought me nothing but endless tears.

Tell me how to get close to someone
who caused me so much pain.

Tell me how to forgive someone
who hurt me so severely.

Tell me how to open my heart to someone
who broke it to pieces too many times.

Ethereal wings,
Divine magical luminescence,
halo of pure light.

An angel on the edge,
spreading her wings,

will she fly or fall?

Angelic tears
create rain.

Even angels
feel pain.

Tears fill my eyes
images flying through my head
my childhood memories of places
I'm not home.

No one understands
I don't belong here
I don't want to be here
but I don't have a choise