our story needed to be shared
it was epic
with moments of divine beautiful happiness
and moments of raw animalistic pain
so i attempted to write it down

it took me years of reliving every detail
writing on napkins in coffee shops
and receipts in grocery stores

it took me years of memories
three suicide attempts
and two men i never really loved

i finished last night
i finished our story
------------------------------------
and then my screen lit up
and then the walls came down
and then i realized our story hasn't ended
all we've been through is the prologue

I remember one day we were talking and it was right after you left so I was still living for every word you wrote to me

I was frustrated, upset, but never angry. I told you it wasn't fair that you were gone and I was here and I'm devastated and you're just fine.

You said you didn't understand and it took me until now to realize you really didn't understand.

You are able to go about your day, follow the schedule, wake up without thinking. You are able to live without.

We were happy, in love, excited together. Apart I am isolated, desperate, depressed. Apart you are cold, habitual, just fine.

everything i've loved, i've lost.