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If we were all the same
Would we be happy?

If we were all one
Would we come undone?

If we all roamed
Would we find home?

If we all atoned
Would we be clean?

If we all loathed
Would we corrode?

If we all moaned
Would we be heard?

If we all strolled
Would we ever get anywhere?

If we all condoned
Would we ever make allowances?

If we all loved
Would we ever feel hate?

If we all provoked
Would we all react?

If we all unfold
Would ***** laundry air?

If we all just decomposed
We would just become ghosts.
© JLB
Is it natural to dislike a moth yet like a butterfly?
Mojito flavoured beer helps the spring birds sing
I'm sat yet floating in the last rays of spring sunshine
Remembering when I was yours and you were mine.

Memories gratify, whilst faults grate
Did you love me or the butterfly within?
I hear my scoff at this thought, I'm more moth you see
Butterflies capitalise on their pretty lies.

You fell for the pretty lies
You fell for the pretty wings
You fell for the notoriety being with a butterfly brings
You fell for the purposes of the accident report

So, I guess I dislike myself, since I am more moth
I froth at this revelation, come late this spring sun
Applesauce faults gloss over the fact that I the moth
Will morph into butterfly come summer.
© JLB
Rain patters on the window
hurricane winds whistle round about
my mind.
I hear the rain, amazed that the sun's rays
still fall to earth, warming and nurturing

Cocooned in a throw, I look at the room
I've lain in for three days in a pain of my making.
I've become a cliche, the madwoman in the attic
lamenting lost love, lost life.
Cruelty knows no bounds, yet it binds.

Rhythmically the rain batters at the panes.
I don't want praise, I like my malaise
I feel real when I feel pain
I lie slain on the floor, amidst the wreckage
of a marriage.

I've died over and over these last three days
I want to get up and comfort you
To tell you that your life will go on
Mine had to end. I'm sorry you found me
on the floor, tablets strewn everywhere.

Baby steps now my love
you knew I was broken,
there's only so many matryoshka dolls in the original
I'm still here my love, it's just better that
you don't see me, but I can watch over you.

Your heart is broken, filling with rain and tears
my heart and soul was broken when the ink was dry
on the paper declaring us over.
When I get up from the floor, I want you to listen to the rain and
know it's me, my ghost knocking at your door.
© JLB
I went into this with
eyes and thighs
wide open.

I cannot sanitise my position
My legs astride
Your waist.

I cannot analyse our predicament
I sympathise truly
With her.

But, this affair started together
both to blame
no shame.

I'm beautified by your attention
Call it love
I'm mystified.

I only know I cannot
I will not
Give up.

I'm sorry that you're married
as am I
that's life.

Or is it oversimplified lust?
just never leave
I'd vaporise.

But, before we go back
to our partners
glide inside.

Again.
© JLB
Scattered thoughts clatter and cloud my mind.
Family secrets rise like dough.
Names long forgotten, some never even known
get spoken.
Sirens scream in the silence of the mind,
questions go unanswered.
Battered, tattered thoughts shake at my very soul,
"My family did what?"
"People knew?"
"Oh yes, common in those days"

Common? Common?
Family secrets **** with a skill
that the most skilled assassin
would sell their soul for.
Staggered by revelations that
have lain quiet these years
make me want to scream
lacquered lies have obfuscated
my personal history.
Splattered my known self.
© JLB
Unearthly longing puts a spell on me
prophetic and poetic words empty my mouth
you've done it again,
dashed and crashed my need of you in one move.
A marriage invitation. Ours?
No, yours and hers.
You'd promised that I was yours
you were mine.
But, you found deeper water to play in,
cream vellum invite
inviting me, the one that you'd ****** for fun
to be an honoured guest at your celebration.
My celebration also, alas for you.
Such beautiful flowers coo the guests
I smile, I've seen these flowers before
at my door.
They'd announce your intentions
frenetic, athletic, kinetic ***
was to ensue.
Hushed ahhhhhs as the bride to be
Stepped out
bridal colours of a ******
shame about the groom.
Numb I watch her walk to you
I know every inch of you
I know that secret quirky part of you
that perversely makes you gentler.
Will she find it?
She's at the altar, I start to feel frenetic
this is wrong I should be her
you caressed me first
you kissed me first
You were my first.
Wait, the vicar is asking for objections
You both turn, look out at us the congregation
I lock eyes with you
I look perky, your mask falters
It's all over bar the screams
You see dear I do object to being an object
who looks for a concealed pocket sized Beretta
at a wedding?
That red stain will be ****** to get out.
© JLB
Sedated and initiated my feelings have been
evaluated, and been found wanting.
Frayed dreams lie unravelling in the
decayed recesses of my mind.
Laid bare they seem displaced
and out of place with reality.

Concentrate, I tell myself,
eradicate, confiscate those decayed dreams
wipe the slate clean, chalk it all up to life
and it's experiences.
Better to take the bitter pill called reality
than eat the decay of a pretend life.

Wipe the slate clean, be born anew
culminate in a straight jacket, be the bait
for fate to step in and renew you.
Liberate, agitate, evaluate, educate yourself.
Don't give in. Don't give up, life is for living
good or bad, wipe the slate clean.
© JLB
Fluttering eyelids give away
your quiet slumber in the summer sun.
I wonder what your dreams are made of,
silken memories?gossamer ghosts?
Plundering pirates?

I see the younger you as you sleep,
helpless like a newborn, still as a millpond, but
somber thoughts must have invaded, you've
wrinkled your brow, I lean over and caress your face
you ease back to Lethe, oblivious to my watching.

I want to see the images that are racing through your mind
I want to smother you, until I alone own you, you're mine
I want to rediscover all over again why I fell in love with you
I want to feel that first flush, rush of rapture
I want to know that you want that too.

The summer sun is fading into umber tones
The earth has been warmed, and the lustre of
The day is nearly at an end. Yet, still you slumber.
The sun has taken a somber tone, it's time to wake, go home.
The lover at slumber, needs to become my husband again.
© JLB
It's hard to hide a smile
When you should feel defiled.
Is it wrong to give my soul,
act as a ***** in the bed and
reconcile your acts as nothing but
worthwhile?
My skin and mind are afire
we're lying side by side respirating shallowly
admired, reviled and inspired I let myself wander
with thoughts of our beguiled afternoon.
Love affairs are seedy, needy and just
without my lover I'd feel nothing but bile
for the man I let slip a band on me.
I want to stay awhile, but the room will
be needed by the next coupling.
And, until next time I have to veil my
vile, yet necessary secret
And that I do with guile and style.
© JLB
I am a wax wife
a parallax
a displacement of his
true love.
My position of wife
is viewed from
two lines of sight,
his and mine.
Our views are skewed
yet we remain
the same.
I'd like to relax in
His arms
as a flesh and bone
solid woman.
But, knowing you're
one of the ranks
rankles, causes
jealousy and hate
makes me want
to plant
an axe
in his head.
Time to smooth the
cracks in the wax.
© JLB
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