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 Jan 2016 Ayush B
Lexie
Hell
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
Lexie
I am burning
in a hell.

The hell of my body.

I rot from inside.

And find not one, single,

place where I can **hide.
i hope you remember me when that someone stares into your eyes
and
when you sit down and there's and empty seat next to you
i hope that you wish i was next to you
but it will be too late

every morning when you make coffee or tea
i hope that as you bring your cup close to your face
you are reminded of the warmth of my embrace
your heart will never beat at the same pace
when you are reminded of me

i hope i still cross your mind like a shooting star
i get lost in the black skies covering your black eyes
your love left me a black eye and i was blinded by the white lies
you said lets take our time and you knew that time flies
you were the closest i've ever been to someone and now you are so far

i was a happy dog
every i love you translated into a bark
you were nothing but shine to me but now you're so dark
i hope you think of me when you're holding hands with him at the park
i dream of you but i choose not to look for you through the fog
old poem
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
Ayeshah
HE
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
Ayeshah
HE
He laughs at all my corny jokes
I know
I'm not a comedian & still he laughs

He talks to me on so many levels
We really don't even care
what the conversations about

He rubs my pain away
massaging me
until I'm fast of sleep

He's not once put me down,
I see him so completely
different than any of my exes

He cooks for me
after a long day
He makes me my favorites

He opens doors
even pulling
out my chair

He holds me in the mist of my nightmares
never making fun of my mental illness

He doesn't pressure me to be intimate
or
request a ****** relationship
he
knows I'm celibate & respect this

He prays with me
  and
he prays for me

He doesn't take me for granted
always a kind word to say
and
never ever has he been
disrespectful

He makes sure all my needs are met
and
he's devoted to my kids

most importantly he does
everything
I've longed for in sometimes
goes above and beyond,

He's quick to protect me
defend my honor
never discussing me to anyone

well
not ever has
he talked bad about me
or in
the negative as others
claiming to love me have

He refuses to be
baited by anyone
where
I'm concerned
and
recent had to make
a
stalker leave me alone
but
what I like the most of
my new friend
is that
He Holds My Hand!
© 2015-2077 by Ayeshah K.C.L.N.
All rights reserved.
No part of this may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,without prior written permission of Ayeshah K.C.L.N
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
Harsh
To whom this may concern,

I forgive you.
Even if you haven’t apologized just yet;
maybe you never will.
But I have held this hurt in my chest for far too long
and I don’t want this rotting away my naive heart.
I’m writing this with cathartic desperation and a patience
that only comes from being angry for so long.

I want you to notice the first sentence I wrote earlier.
“I forgive you.” Note that I did not say “it’s okay,” or “it’s all right."
There’s a distinction between what I did say and what I could have.
I said that I forgive you. When I say that,
I acknowledge that you have wronged.
You have hurt me and we both ought to recognize that.
If I’d said “it’s okay,” I would be subtly telling you that
“whatever you did, it’s okay, it’s all right.”
I didn’t say it’s okay because it’s not.
Whether or not you come to terms with it
is not my business anymore.

I hope you find yourself within these words
and make peace with yourself, and I hope
you don’t make the same mistake with another individual.

Without Wax,
Someone Whose Scabs
Have Only Recently Become Scars

*P.S. I may have forgiven you
but that does not mean that I trust you just yet.
The second in my Open Letter Series. Let me know what you think about it!
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
Miranda
In a world where it is so impossible to just be,
Can I trade places with you and you with me?

Could I live in your skin just to finally feel free?
To live a life under your warmth I would surely freeze.

Could I breathe with your lungs just to finally feel complete?
To breathe those breaths of atmosphere that never really belonged to me.

Could I look through your eyes just to finally spot the disease?
To observe through your eyes is the only true way to see.

Could I move your melodic mouth just to finally let my words leak?
To talk in your tongue was always the only right way to speak.

Could I borrow your bones just to finally walk with your feet?
To travel amidst your framework is the only way I may leave.

So in a world where it is so impossible to just be,
Trading places, it seems, may not be so sweet;
Because in this world where it is so impossible to just be,
You are just you and I am just me.
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
My-broken-heart
The night was ebony
Clouds huddled close together,
The moon disappeared
This might would be remembered forever.

The against the
darkened sky,
Appeared a sight
that made her sigh

A shooting star
Flew through the dark
The jet of light
Flooding the park

She closed her eyes
And opened her heart,
To make a wish
For a fresh start

The night was ebony
The dark now fading away,
The sun started to rise
She smiled; it was a new day.
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