Beauty.
The standard goal.
Society kills me.
They tell you to “be yourself, you’re beautiful”
Judge you for it,
Then encourage you to do it again.
Who are they to decide?
In fact, who decided the status quo,
What determines true beauty?
They say everyone’s beautiful in their own way,
But that’s just the appetizer.
The main course is the “fact” that everyone’s different,.
And in order to achieve the standard level of “perfect”,
“Buy this item! It’ll make you more perfect, I swear!”
“Wear these clothes, it’ll complement the parts of your body we’ve defined as
‘Attractive’!”
“Do these workouts, it’ll give you a flatter stomach, tighter abs, a sexier beach body!”
The fact that they took our weak spot,
Perfection
And dangled the idea,
The possibility in front of us
To sell their products
To keep us coming back, to make money
Because, let’s be real, money’s everything.
They convince us that we can achieve something that doesn't exist,
But we want it to,
We hope for it,
Because….what?
Looks are everything?
No.
In 80 years, we’ll all look old and weird, so what’s the point?
Look good everyday,
Hope someone finds you attractive,
Potentially fall in “love” with somebody who only desires your looks?
If that’s your goal, ***, you've got your priorities mixed up
Life’s not gonna care whether you’re
Attractive,
Ugly,
Skinny,
Thick,
Short,
Tall,
Smart,
Stupi­d,
Or the greatest person alive.
It’s gonna knock you down no matter what,
And in 120 years, we’ll all be dead anyway.
Why waste your time hoping to accomplish a false reality,
So you can live your years in luxury,
Rather than just being thankful and happy?
Don’t spend your time trying to get to what you don’t even want,
But have been programmed to accept.
Re-program yourself.
***** the system.

Don't you dare tell  me I am beautiful.
Until you have seen my scars...
That are craved into my body,
and the blood that pours out of my soul..

Don't you dare tell me I am lovely,
until I completely shut you out of my life..
Because I swore to myself,
you are just like the others and you will get sick of me.....

Don't you dare tell me I am flawless,
until you have seen me break down in tears..
I will show you the darkness  that's inside me that's consumes me,
and you will run away form me...

But  if you,
have seen my scars,
my bitterness,
and darkness...
Then I might believe you....

Loving you
Was the worst mistake I ever made
Along with believing you
When you said you loved me too
Because you're a ******* crazy mess
And you only love yourself

I treated you like gold
You treated me like a cigarette; just used me and threw me away
I called you princess
You made me cry myself to sleep
You broke me into a million pieces
And then acted like the victim

I loved you more than myself
But you treated your dogs better than me
I did everything for you
You lied to me and wouldn't see me; not even on my birthday
Then yelled at me and cried when I didn't want to talk to you

And after all this
And so, so much more
You wonder why I hate you? You expect me to forgive you AGAIN?
You say you've changed but you said that last time and the time before
You say you love me, but you're a ******* liar
You only love yourself

I used think
Of suicide
All the time

How
When
Where

But really,
Suicide
Sounds like a lot
Of work

What I really wish
Is that death
Would just take me
And I wouldn't have to come
To it

That I would fall from great heights
But not on purpose

That a bear would eat me
Without prompting

That water would take me
Without my help

That I would just die
But not on purpose

Or even better
But truly impossible,

I wish I had never been born

That I had never disgraced
This world
With my presence

That I never
Met you
So you wouldn't have to pretend
To be my friend

That I never
Forced my
Ugly words
On people

I honestly wish I had never been born

So no,
I do not
Want to commit suicide

But yes,
I do want to die
Or have never been alive