It's been a week since I made you smile
and I won't do it again, for a long while
But if we couldn't promise that forever
then I can't say it'll happen never.
And so I just sit here, still in love
with you, the girl I'm dreaming of

She can't move on.
She says she's fine.
But deep inside, everything in her,
Reminded her of him.

She doesn't know if he moved on.
He acts like nothing happened.
He was okay. He was more than okay.
Deep inside she's struggling hard
To know how, why?

When can the two ends meet?
Will there be a moment wherein she can say that:
Nothing changed.
We're still friends. Close friends?

She wished that she could read his mind.
She wished she knew what was happening.
She wished she knew how to love like a man.
So that in the end,
She won't cry

so I brought my writer wife
(prominently pregnant)
to the hospital
and on her bed, she screamed:
"weren't" "hasn't" "couldn't" "shan't"
"aint" "hadn't" "you're" "isn't"
"aren't" "didn't" "wasn't"
"who's?" "what's?" "he's" "she's"

The doctors were confounded
and they turned to me and they said:
"What the hell is she doing?"

And I replied with double speed
and a violent sense of urgency:
*"Don't you know?
She's having contractions -
she's a writer"

I've tried to get over being lied to.
I can't.
I've tried to get through the betrayals and blames,
I can't.
I've tried to get over that fact that I've been talked about and lied about,
But I can't.
I've tried to get past the reasons why I regret so much,
And I can't.
I've tried to get past the hypocrisy and narcissism
And I simply can't.
I've tried to get over the pain of knowing I'd wasted time
And could have had something that makes my entire life complete,
And can't.
I've tried to forget the dreams and wants I used to think were real,
But I can't.
I've tried to work my way through the conflict in my head, but I cant.
I am trying not to hate him, but I can't.

I miss you
God, how I miss you
I've never missed anyone the way that
I miss you
Right now
Why can't you be here?
And I don't want to miss you
I know
There's no hope in yesterday
But only in tomorrow
Hope that you'll return
How naive of me to think you'll return
I know
It's just
I miss you
Its hard
Being without you, living without you
Anything without you
Is pain
Because part of me knows
You don't miss me
You're not writing poems describing just how bad
You miss me
But yet I still can't stop
Missing you
I guess after all that we've been through
I'm allowed to miss you
Sorry to be a bother
I just
Miss you

I laid in my bed, staring out my broken screen window,
And I thought of you.
The stars in the sky remind me of your mind,
An endless galaxy of thought and memory.
I dreamed with open eyes that you laid next to me,
Whispering small things in my ear
And gently tracing the scars on my arm.
The small blisters covering my skin
Throbbing and sensitive under your calloused fingers.
We could talk about the little things that make life great,
Or you could kiss me senseless.

These hopes and thoughts repeat every night.
The imagery and technicolor thoughts leave shivers
Running through my entire body. I know you dream of this, too.