..





share your thoughts,
stay humble-
stay in the bubble,
of nothingness, and
the light that makes one
blind.

i have my mind,
and then yours to fathom-
universe is so random and yet,
everything makes sense,
if you let your mind wander
far enough.





there's something in rocks,
and water. beneath all that ice
and laughter. that stops all-
all the disaster of being shipped
back to the same hollowness, walls,
and the better part of silence, science,
of not knowing-
where it all came from.

but stay inside the skin,
away from the approaching
nuclear winter and dead people,
made within the deepest darkness
of a normal mind. for it is the normal,
that is against all that is beyond
the grasp of reality.

we'll always be indebted
to our totality,
until the piper leads himself down the
rabbit hole.

but do share your thoughts,
stay humble, lost-
in your bubble of nothingness.

little red drops of pain
dripping again.

and i'm sipping on
the salt, telling my
brain, that there's a name
i need to burn.

I'm cold, and that's not a lie,
like the ocean i hold, of
delusion, and petty illusions,
that creates a ripple, in the
pond, and i find myself adrift,
and so on my own. in this
confusion.

give me knowledge,
questions. answers are
for scientists and the
redundant. i have an
abundance of those.

i hold myself close.
like thorns to a rose,
i'm my own sin,
nothing ever more.

i am sure, there's a door
somewhere to the light.
somewhere on the right,
away from sight and wrongs-
i've heard so many songs
about kisses and stars,
of names and scars,
i need something else.

i need a new galaxy,
to hold on-to and learn,
to cherish and then burn.

because it is only, i, here,
and i'm not the only one.

he sat on the broken rock,
mesmerised by the morning blue of the sky,
he could see the little mermaid,
going in and out with each wave

he could see the mountains,
and their shadow, floating-
like the dead bodies in any sea
with wind.

how normal failure is,
he thought in a moment of pause,
how normal it is, to not be alive,
the little man said a little louder from the deepest architect of his mind.

he sat wondering about what he came to know,
he sat wandering about in the fields of drought and flowers, insignificance and knowledge,
of thirst and hunger, and something alien that comes with those two.

he sat where he could see the sky and it's blue, and he wondered, lost-
if the sky could ever see or know, how beautiful it is and was ?

and he thought to himself, is that is why there are lakes and ocean's, he blamed-
is that is why it rains ?

A silent symphony plays in the background
Soothing the atmosphere of its whispers and tears 

There's an aroma of quietness all around 
A hint of madness in serenity it bears 

Tommorows cease to exist from now on,
and can you not hear ?

Life singing the yesterday's songs,
To be lost in the approaching calmness my dear 

Time slows down to a halt 
Too tired to move and caress the impending doom 
And night saves the memory to be kept in a vault;
Safe and hidden from the looming gloom.

And I lie in ecstasy 
a dream I longed to dream 

A fading reality 
To be erased of all that I've seen 

And I recall my oldest friend 
A hope that I banished long ago 
But it haunts me again in the end 
And the hope to feel alive grows 
A spark in the embed darkness 
Ignites the desires I locked away 
And it possess me once again 
To let me please my whites and greys 

And I bleed of all that poison 
That this world and I brew 
Letting go of all the answers 
That once my soul knew 
Slowly but surely 
The coldness I nurtured, is replaced by the warmth of my sin,

And I wonder with peace 
What the morrow may bring ?

And I wonder with peace 
When the morrow may ring ?

And I dream away my life 
As I exhale my last precious breath 

Forever lost in my sweet dream 
into the approaching beautiful death.

Wait a moment I'm thinking,
The sadness syncing,
Maybe i'm dead,  I'm never blinking
always in a room closed, in my head
And thinking, and inking, in my bed
Never awake, always sinking.

Bottles by the bed, in my head
with fear shed, and years bled
and my sadness been drinking
All my tears and pain,

Maybe i'm insane, tell me, what's my name ? What's my name ?  Tell me, what's my name ? I'll ask again, what's my name ? Please whisper!

There's nobody else in my brain, It's so filthy and i cannot even look at the man in the mirror.
He makes feel so ugly.




From Compton to the streets
I heard their names
From a random city
I try but i have no game
I have no name, and no shame
Feed me your hollow
I'll eat away a part of your blame
I'll follow you around the world
Just tell me my name ?



I'm no one, no heart, maybe someone
But no scars, I'm tired and done,
so fired up,
In love, here to lose and burn.




I'll never learn that i can
Never ever reach the sky
More lies, sure i'll cry,
If someday i die, before my time
Maybe it's all in my mind
The walls and the rhymes
The kind man and the blind
I don't understand but it's fine

I'm not gonna make it
I hate it, hate that fact
In fact, it makes me want to
Not be mad, makes me sad
That I wasn't raised to be bad
Taught to be mad,

So normal, wearing formal
Staying dormant, fearing gold
And the glittering ornaments
There's no fun in fancy garments
I don't have any green for the
Entitlement,

Maybe I was wrong to seek
Enlightenment,
Not meant to speak anything foreign

Always looking for questions on the line, online, on random forums, what's mine
Whats yours, nobody knows and that's the moment, where you can find your torment,

The pain would still grow and my voice will still hurt, fill my share of world with words and more dirt,

Dawn to dust, gone with rust, here i lust lest i fall in love, and i know i cannot keep up, i'm so fed up, stuck within myself and locked, with no one to talk, not enough space for me to walk, i wear no face and i am who i am not, when I see in the mirror it stops, the clock is shattered, and it doesn't matter who won.

Wait a moment I'm thinking,
The sadness syncing,
Maybe i'm dead,  I'm never blinking
always in a room closed, in my head
And thinking, and inking, in my bed
Never awake, always sinking.

Bottles by the bed, in my head
with fear shed, and years bled
and my sadness been drinking
All my tears and pain,

Maybe i'm insane, tell me, what's my name ? What's my name ?  Tell me, what's my name ? I'll ask again, what's my name ? Please whisper!

There's nobody else in my brain, It's so filthy and i cannot even look at the man in the mirror.
He makes feel so ugly.


that old man on the pavement has no eyes,
It's better to be cold than to live in a fear you cannot describe,
With every tear we hide, more of us, and more of us die,
every year we make a resolution for pollution and we try,
to fly without wings, we can do without things,
they say sky is the limit, but nobody asks why, why can't we search for it within

People going bezerk over little things, and you cannot win,
Or you'll be left in a riddle, felt alight for a while and now i'm back in the middle playing second fiddle to my heart that is brittle,

My pain won't wither, and they won't whisper to me why they linger

All around my soul, masking me whole, and i keep asking why am I so cold ?
Where is the life, my rhymes, that line when I need something to hold

Nothing's new and I've said everything I had to say before,
Painting my blues, as i can, but I don't understand, i'm never sure,

Have no clue, they've locked the door, and now i'm a mad-man.

And the madness grows, the sadness knows, as the winds blows,

And the sand eats the earth, we were all dirt, we are all dust.

And nobody knows.




Yeah, i read, i read all day
I bleed, i feed all day, i see
I'm free all day, and it repeats
It eats into my brain and it feeds
It sinks deep inside my viens
And inks me when I'm asleep
I blink and what i am think-ing
Makes no sense in a heart beat
It's so hard to beat what you need
And what you keep is so hard to reach
Its better to be ripped apart in pieces
Than to leave it out in the open to feed
So broken and apart but still i greed
No smile on my face but i still greet
Every tear with the same surprise
My brain is in a free- fall i cannot
Describe, i don't subscribe to what
I believe, i believe more in lies
They teach more than they preach
And that's enough confusion
To suffice, in so many illusions
You cannot seek that one delusion
And become what you cannot hide
It's true, the dead cannot die
No good-bye's, it's all in our heads
But we don't get, we are designed to
Forget but maybe just not yet, no, not today, I keep telling myself all night
From so far away, there are so many ways,
She could have stayed, he could have stayed, but nobody stays, and nobody stayed, and that's how we were made, so broken and vile.

I breathe beneath the ocean
And i drink my tears out in the open
My head is a night and eyes broken
I say things loud in fear, so rotten
And soon i'll be forgotten.

Wait a moment I'm thinking,
The sadness syncing,
Maybe i'm dead,  I'm never blinking
always in a room closed, in my head
And thinking, and inking, in my bed
Never awake, always sinking.


Bottles by the bed, in my head
with fear shed, and years bled
and my sadness been drinking
All my tears and pain,

Maybe i'm insane, tell me, what's my name ? What's my name ?  Tell me, what's my name ? I'll ask again, what's my name ? Please whisper!

There's nobody else in my brain, It's so filthy and i cannot even look at the man in the mirror.
He makes feel so ugly.




And he keeps me, never leaves me
It loves me and feeds me
When I'm down it needs me
Never around when it eats me
Laid on the ground in the end,
Six feet too deep, or maybe burning
It's better to be afraid than never be
Found, better to hate, than be bitter
It's better to wither than drown.

So wear your crown of ****,
And wear your gown of thorns
That never fits, let it sync
You were born in a ****** place and an old town.

So wear that face, and glow
For nobody can know, it's been sinking and it's been syncing, and you've been dreaming, and it's so loud.


Wait a moment I'm thinking,
The sadness syncing,
Maybe i'm dead,  I'm never blinking
always in a room closed, in my head
And thinking, and inking, in my bed
Never awake, always sinking.

Bottles by the bed, in my head
with fear shed, and years bled
and my sadness been drinking
All my tears and pain,

Maybe i'm insane, tell me, what's my name ? What's my name ?  Tell me, what's my name ? I'll ask again, what's my name ? Please whisper!

There's nobody else in my brain, It's so filthy and i cannot even look at the man in the mirror.
He makes feel so ugly.

O' K    AVI  
MY CONFESSIONS
       ( LYRICAL)
       LINK in BIO
  








I wish I was more than what I turned out to be,
I wish I was who they always wanted me to be
another lie in this sea of corpses hanging on to each other,
without any dreams or sight,







I wish I was as dark as night,
so they could see the flaws in every light,
I wish there was no need to pretend that I am no one yet,
but they know not to forget,
what they once wanted me to be,
I wish I was free in this world locked in chains and scars,
I wish I wasn't a machine and had a heart,







that everything was more beautiful than how they claim,
these empty words that fall down on my conscience like winters rain,
forming icicles that dangle over my head waiting for me to speak,
I wish I was weak,
so I could give in to their desire and leave,







tear a hole in my head and bleed 
away 
every thought they want to ******
I wish I was young again,
so, I could be afraid of the things beneath my bed,
instead of the voices inside my head,
I wish I was dead,
so they could stop counting my every breath,








I am not, what I have always pretended to be,
I am too cold, and they are too old,
to see,
beyond the rainbow where colours still dance in peace,
I wish I could leave,
I wish I could breathe,
in this hollow they call my home,
I'm so alone,
wandering inside my head all alone,







I wish I could mourn but I won't,
it is I who chose not to wage war on the strangers,
that have made me a prisoner within my own skin,
I wish I wasn't always burning,
for I cannot feel the pain no more.

Hey, yo!
Let it go!
There's someone by the door
But are you sure ?
Yeah, why ?

Nothing,
Not any more

But it's still a lore
And like many more

The man in the mirror
Is down, and so outta' control

Ready to explode
Steady to explore

If you don't stop staring back at him
he's gonna explode

And sold,

So, mine to keep
Here and now

He sees me weep

As i stare in his eyes

Inside so deep

I can't leave
I can't breathe
There's somebody here
That's not me

I can't see
He has my eyes
I can't dream

So high and done

I,   and so drunk

I am so drunk

But it Doesn't matter

Here's someone
Who is not me

Here's what I've become

Not me

But that is not what you've been told

You think I'm just cold

Oh,

There's something in my head
doctor I implore

I'm not making stories, I'm six stories up
and i'm trying to jump and fly

I'm not numb, just dumb, but just enough to burn and not be burnt, or i'll die

I've learned so much that i keep looking for the gun

But it Doesn't matter

I, won't lose my funk

Even though all of me is shattered, i'm still having fun

Under the sun, with no place left to run

But I won't lose my funk
But I won't lose my funk

If i have to perish, i'll relish, being a fool and a drunk.


... [ voice starts to fade ]..

I can't breathe
There's someday here
That's not me

I can't see
He has my eyes
I can't dream

So high and done

I, and so drunk

I am so drunk

But it Doesn't matter

Still funk
Still funk

Yeah, cause I'm  not breathing

Yeah, cause I'm not leaving

Oh, can't you hear me screaming

So drunk still a punk

I am still dreaming

Still FUNK.


[Yeah, cause I'm  not breathing

Yeah, cause I'm not leaving, no

Oh, can't you hear me screaming

I am still dreaming

Still FUNK.]


[ part 2]


Hey, yo!
Don't you know there's a show
It's exclusive
And for the only

So elusive and lonely

Trust me,

It's confusing and
You have no money

No honey in your arms

No bed to warm

No place to stay

A face like any other

But with nothing to say

No kingdom to rule
No freedom to crave

Sometimes i wonder if i can swallow the thunder and fade away

I wander, in mind al-ways

In so many ways

Night and day

But I never stay for long

It's as if I don't belong, anywhere

Still here, listening to songs

Good songs, bad songs, sad songs

All day long, with nothing to do

And they keep reminding me of you

And I don't know what to do

Nothing was so much better than this

Oh, now i need a hit

Never been hit like you before

Used to eat them bullets and now i'm just so hollow


And this emptiness is there and it follows
The darkness is here and it'll swallow

Oh, somebody please make me a door

So i can leave this place

It isn't, what it was worth for

[ voice fades ]


Sure, it had it perks but no more
Now it just hurts and then some more

I'm not here to speak but I don't know

How to stop, i'm so annoying, i can hardly watch

Myself from becoming the dread




Oh   , here's another man found dead




He keeps peeking at me through a moment to feel sane

As it lingers

In the mirror, as he , whispers my name


There's something in my head
Oh, doctor I implore

I'm not making stories,
I'm six stories up and i'm trying to jump and fly

I'm not numb, just dumb, but just enough to burn and not be burnt, or i'll die

I've don't want to be in my forties when I start  to cry


I'm not making stories,
I'm six stories up and i'm trying to jump and fly

I'm not numb, just dumb, but just enough to burn and not be burnt, or i'll die


I know everybody worries before the good bye

But there's  no good when you die, and it's all a lie, and it's all why you cry,

no more tries but I can't survive if i'm not alive i'm not here to fight

i'm not here to chase the light i'm not here to be a hero


i'm just tryna' pass this life by

Haha

I can't breathe
There's someday here
That's not me

I can't see
He has my eyes
I can't dream

So high and done

I, and so drunk

I am so drunk

But Dosent matter

Still funk
Still funk

Yeah, cause I'm  not breathing

Yeah, cause I'm not leaving

Oh, can't you hear me screaming

So drunk

I am still dreaming

Still FUNK.

I've learned so much that keep looking for the gun



But it Dosent matter

I won't lose my funk

Even though all of me is shattered, i'm still having fun

Under the sun, with no place left to run

But I won't lose my funk
But I won't lose my funk

If i have to perish, i'll relish, being a fool and a drunk.