cutting myself open
On this bright sunny day
Night is far too broken
For me to now betray


There's so much confusion
And the illusion never fades
Those mistakes were a delusion
But the price was never paid

Now that I'm stuck in my own
Here in walls that were never made
I can sense that universe has grown
And I'm collapsing in my wait

Far away from this corner
There's a man who cannot see
If I could look in the mirror
I know I won't understand me

There's so much blindness
Only darkness in my lonely head
Sometimes it's just pointless
And there's no reason to be myself

I've been mourning with patience
For someone to recognise my dread
And I keep having these conversations
With people buried beneath my bed


Pretending to make love with fire
And it's slowly burning my skin
The smoke travels in a desire
Deep inside when I take it in


I'm always reaching for something
Something that's too ugly to exist
I want to feel how it feels to be nothing
Can never forget a child's last wish


Let it rip apart me for a while
This pain, it's my only friend
For a moment let me be alive
I'm not yet ready for the end

my fingers do not want to write
my mind does not want to think
I want to sit in a dark lonely corner
let the silence kiss me in ink
take the sad faces and burn them
I do not wish to be here anymore
there's nothing but pain for me there
I do not wish to be there anymore
I've lived through myself but not me
my thoughts sometimes aren't mine
what is and what was makes no sense
in all I have forsaken with my time
the arms keep chasing the hours
minutes wither into another empty tale
what was theirs was never ours
sometimes memories leave behind no trails
I do not seek love as I age
I've known enough not to bleed
I wonder if I was wise before
to let go of all I could once keep
possessions that now are lost
for the voice never got too old
I have known and seen the cost
of the ones I've felt grown cold
there is no pride in madness
nothing to gain from a lonely wish
I've grown with every scar and tear
and back to where I was
when I remember her in arms of his
my words are as strange as me
for only I can see their true colour
there is not one but so many
when I catch a glimpse in the mirror
I am so much poison
eating myself from within
celebrating my own erosion
as I see the lights dim
and into the dark I weep
I do not wish to be dead no more
through the dark I reach
I do not dream of this world anymore

Jo wahan hai wo yahan hai
Jo yahan hai wo wahan hai
Par-e-dil gumshuda
Na Jane kahan hai
Ek chota sa to ye jahan hai
Hum to isse bhi bant chale
Dil to ek chota sa makam hai

A us ***** ko bhi sath le chalein
Jispe uska kudha mehrban hai
Ye to ek aeine ki zaban hai
Jane teri ankhein kahan hai
apne ko hi kyu karta hai khafa
Tujse zada insan to asman hai
Koi lakeer zisko na bant sake
Usse bant diya tune jahan hai

ab to diwaron me hi tu fanaa hai
agar ek dusre ke liye hi marna hai
to pyar me marne me kya gunha hai ?

rok na sake koi usse
jisko khaboien ki panaa hai
Jo pyar me bana hai
lakeeron ke uss par bhi to ek sapna hai
udhar bhi to koi shayad apna hai

agar ek dusre ke liye hi marna hai
to pyar me marne me kya gunha hai ?


ye jo rasta tumne chuna hai
akele pad jaoge tum beete kal
ye jo hai tumhari addat
ki ab to ibadat bhi gunha hai
kya tumne kabhi dheere se suna hai
wo ek muskaan ki shararat
jiska arth bhi tumko mana hai
dekh le us fakeer ki nazakat
jo tere mere khoon ki milawat
us lakeer ki ahat pe kurban hai


agar ek dusre ke liye hi marna hai
to pyar me marne me kya gunha hai ?

Hi I'm just a normal guy and I.. I think that should be enough for an introduction but as it turns out it isn't. It's always, hello my name is xyz ( yeah, I'm from CBSE ) anyhow, my name is xyz, I am xyz, I do this xyz, xyz,xyz, ..abc...bla..bla..blablabla. I mean I want to have an understanding where hello, I'm just a normal guy is enough. But today I want to speak about religion. Yes. Religion. A very interesting.. thing. Sort of. I mean we are all affected by it. Even the atheist, even though I was an atheist but drugs ****** my mind. You know, it's actually funny because I think drugs actually makes you much more religious. Anyone who has ever done drugs can vouch for that, right ? There's nothing more divine in this world than drugs ( of course apart from God). It's the closest you can get to heaven. It's very obvious. If ******* was legal. I'm sorry, I'm a little weak on my drugs. So that's like my go to drug when I'm talking about drugs somehow. Who knew even drugs had marketing ?. Anyhow, if it was legal. Man, things would have been very different. Everyone would have been a devotee, lazy or just dead or dying.. I don't know, you get the picture.. you're smart enough. Now as I was saying, religion affects everyone. I was an atheist... Once. But you know I was thinking something the other day and I got really deep. What if gods were real you know, like hypothetically or realistically ( depends on the side you think you're on ), I was thinking and I realised, I liked the Hindu gods the best. My parents are Hindu. That's very biased I know, but that's the point. Everyone is affected. But I'll sell you my idea. See, I think it would **** to have just one or a couple of gods. I'm sorry, but that's boring. And 'God' is 'God', the best thing ever. PERIOD. ( Kalpnic or otherwise) we should have more of those. More Gods. Tens and thousands. Millions. Billions. Ever counting. Why not ?. The bad joke aside, Hindu gods are cool in my opinion, take 'Shivji' or aka 'Bholenath'. What's not to love ?  Eight pack abs, smoking ****, wearing a rock-n-roll aesthetic. I want my god to be like that. I want him to be cool. I want there to be battles and stories and crazy things. Not just a man wandering and doing good things, I mean I am alright if that's true. I'm all in. I'm just saying my version is cooler. That's all. No offence. I'm not racist ( for religion ? ), I don't care. I think do good, be good and shut up. I swear, that's my moto. But that's not saying that someone else might have a different opinion but that's okay, I would love to hear them if I could. Usually when I pray ( which I admit I don't ) I usually pray to as many gods as I can recall, I guess most of us do. That's just human. God has always been about acceptance more than anything else. Acceptance into the community, build a community and make a living according to that culture, at that place, at that time. It wasn't so forced. It was a way of life. It was different. Now it's something else. Much more commercial and obviously much more dangerous. Religion was made by man for man. God is too huge for our knowledge and I think if you believe in God you will be the first person to agree with me that yes, God is too huge for human knowledge. Let it be. Religion is such a huge economic factor in the world. It's impact on the world governments to an average citizen is phenomenal. It's bound to be corrupted. Follow your God instead. Whatever it may be, don't give it a name. Make it your friend. Make it your strength. Whatever makes you do good is 'God'...... And my 'God' is cooler than yours. And Of course there are Greek gods ( for the hipsters ( yeah!)), but they ****** their siblings, 'Yeahuck'.

In today's society we do not get sad because we are sad, but because we were expected to be sad. It's ingrained in our minds. What's good and what's bad. Think about it, we get sad when we think we're on the bad part of the society ( normal people like me obviously, everyone better than me stay out of this please. Your superiority complex hasn't subdued yet or maybe it can't because it's genetic and in that case I am sorry. No Matter how insensitive I've appeared because I just don't care... And also it has a very rock-n-roll-hey-i'm-an-******* vibe to it) and get happy when it's vice-versa. So, is happiness and sadness a human creation ? I don't mean in a biological sense ( philosophy, bro ? ), I mean more as a modern day concept. Why are we sad ?, Relationships, cosmetic issues ?, Jobless, underpaid, couldn't get the new iPhone ( **** those seriously). Most of us are just being sad because everyone before us were sad, on things that don't matter, on things that makes no sense when you look at the stars at night and see how big the universe is, or unless someone points out its not realistic, we need to be realistic ? Realistic all the danm time ? That's not human, human is to dream and imagine and create. Sadness is beautiful too, that's why great poets were born. But the fact is, sadness today is sold and bought, given names and even made fun of.. today sadness is as superficial as happiness. It is, it really is. There's no worth to our sadness, it means nothing. It's in our head because someone put it there. It's not natural anymore that's all I'm saying and it kinda bugs me. Have a nice day. It's okay to be sad if you are a man. Yolo.

He thought for a second before turning away and said "Don't mistake it for a mere co-incident, luck or fate. It's so much bigger than that, like you see in a movie every single time and you do what ?, You disagree, you say things like these don't happen in the real world. You are only afraid because it is so simple. And it is so simple. That's why you are more scared than surprised, I can see it in your eyes."

She whispered in the ushering silence
"But why did it happen the way it did?"

He took a deep breath. Staring at the floor, and like an inspired teacher addressing a curious student, he began in a gloomy tone..

"It was meant to happen and it did, as simple as that. Nothing is perfect, and that tiny amount of imperfection we can never erase, that tiny percentage of something unexpected. That separates us from the world, because the world without us is perfect and meaningless.

He paused for a brief moment as if he was reflecting on his words.

" It needs us, our stories, Because equilibrium is ****** and boring. And yet everything runs towards it, the reason things exist and we breathe. Chaos has always been very instrumental in the making of our world, random chances that were gifted too many number of times. That cannot be mere co-incidence, luck or fate. And that's why this also cannot be so."

She just stood there absorbing every feeling that she could retain for tomorrow.

Now twenty years later, watching her  children play with her husband of fifteen years.

She finally understood.

Under the bed look what I've found
There's a dead cat and there's a clown
Inside my head I'm wearing a crown
Suddenly why do I feel so cold and down ?




Am I blind, Have I lost my mind ?



When the river is up and sky is down
sun's burning my feet but it feels so good yeah
I'm drowning standing up on the ground
There must be something burning someone somewhere here

The time is strict and I'm guilty of everything I've built
As I look back now I see so many in fear
Moments die to gift you the orphaned guilt
As I look back now I cannot see a single tear



Am I blind, Have I lost my mind ?




In my dreams I remember my town
All the people that were, still are, yeah
If I close my eyes I can still hear the sounds
Coming from my brain as if it's all here


My screams are weak and my eyes are brown
I look inside the mirror and I feel so depressed
All those corpses buried in the ground
Will revolt one day if they're any longer suppressed


Way inside my head I am weeping
All those holy memories over flowing and dripping
Bleeding all over the floor and sweeping away the filth
As I'm left here breathing, yeah


If you want I'm ready to give you an ounce
Of my soul in return for your loving embrace
I have nothing else to sell I'm broken down
I don't remember when I made home at this place





Am I blind, Have I lost my mind ?