I cried again today.
You still arent here.
Still arent in my life.
Its a living hell without you.
I miss you.

I feel like I've given up. Nobody cares, not even you so why am I drawn to you? I hate this emptiness , I want to rip it all out but there's nothing there , so it's pointless.
  
I am trapped in a cage of ribs , my heart and my decisions are too strongly connected, this way of living is not safe, so I'll leave you alone so you won't get infected.

I apologize again for diving too deep into your ocean blue eyes. I drowned in them a year ago. I'm sorry that we couldn't say our last goodbyes.

I scribbled your face into wasted trees, I gave them to you even if doing so made it hard to breath. I fell too hard , I wish I wasn't raised to believe that finding love will set me free.

nobody ever filled my missing parts
nobody could get me so high
but you with your questions about
history and politics
while the burning passion within
(which
swept away cold walls of my mind)
grabbed me by the soul and gently kissed...
(slight enough to break wings of butterfly)

...but here and now those parts are missing
yet again
here in my violent stubborn heart
while outside haunting wind
provokes the outrage of the chimes
(never to touch the face so fair
never to hear another subtle breath)

I should go to sleep!
I should go to sleep…

…desolation comes upon the days
painting the time with little pieces
of suffering (how can I close my eyes
hearing it coming with malevolence
in its steps)

Good-bye
Good-bye
and always my love

yours nobody

***

we don't exchange too many cute messages anymore
yet i open your contact and look at you often
watching as your profile picture provides a glimpse
into your life and state of mind
seeing when you are online and thinking if you are looking at mine
but the words "typing..." don't appear
neither on my end nor yours
effectively our two lives are behind two different closed doors

I fear not death —
Not mine.
It is a welcome
Circumstance
I can meet with
an unfamiliar smile.
As long as there is nothingness
To greet me on the other side.
But yours
I could not bear.

Let me go first.

Look at the smile on that woman's face
Look at her shoes
Feel her warm embrace
Watch her laugh
Hear her sing
This woman right here is everything