It's only 12:31,
But it feels as if I've been up forever and a day,
I tried getting some help,
But all I got was doors in the face...

It's 3 a.m and I'm still awake,
I pick up the pen and put it to the page.

With every word I gain some feeling,
With every line, I look for answers.
The scratch of the pen meets the beat of my heart,
The hideous scribbles trying to be art.

It's 3 a.m and I'm still awake,
I pick up the pieces of myself that keep falling,
Pick them up to keep from breaking down.
With every scratch of the pen,
I only break more.
Every wall broken down,
Every facade shattered,
And everything under the carpet is swept out the door.

It's 4 a.m and I'm still awake,
I put down the pen and rip out the page.

There is something about you.
Something that holds,
And won't let me go.
A magnetic pull,
A gravitational force.

You are exquisite.
I love you.

You told me I was beautiful,
A cigarette between your teeth.
I raged at the careless gesture,
You laughed and smiled.
The first meeting,
A beautiful metaphor.

A first kiss,
A shared wish,
And the silent love.
A beautiful metaphor.

Happily Ever After came crashing down,
Our demise up in lights,
You held on 'til the bitter end,
A flickering candle in the dead of night.
A beautiful metaphor.

You'll live forever in me.
Augustus and Hazel,
Okay? Okay.
A beautiful metaphor.

Angry tears,
Wishing on falling stars,
Indescribable pain and hidden scars.
This is the story of a girl I know.

Criticized for who she loves,
Ridiculed by those who "love" her.
So many nights,
So many tears,
Knowing that she'll have to endure it for so many more years.

Growing up came like a curse,
And oh how she knew it would only get worse...

Trying to make herself perfect,
In order to make up for that one "flaw".
She can't see how beautiful it made her heart.
Her arms embrace the weeping,
And in a world full of ignorance,
She is our shining light.
This is the story of a girl I know.

I'm not the one you used to know,
I'm the girl that was left out in the cold.
Nobody cared,
And if they did,
They never said so...

I tried so hard to numb the pain,
But you can't really do that and expect to stay the same.
Nobody knew how much was really wrong,
So I laughed and smiled and played along.

Whenever I tried to reach out,
I was left grasping in the dark.
A million doors in my face,
So I turned to the window,
Only to find it painted shut.

Trapped in my own unhappiness,
Alone in the emptiness that is my soul.
I'm not the one you used to know,
Left out in the cold.
If you care,
Please say so...

I let you in,
I let you see different parts of me.
I feared you would leave,
I was scared you would run.

But you held me,
Wiped away my fears,
Whispering
"I'm right here."

You didn't stay long...
48 hours.
A month of
"I love you" and
"Ill never leave."
Then 48 hours of
"My wish came true"
But God did you lie...

What did I expect?
I mean, really?
How could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?

But we were stuck like glue.
No matter how hard we tugged away,
We snapped together,
Bearing the marks to prove it.
You tried to dissolve the bond,
Trying to break it,
Cut it off,
While I just stood and watched.

I knew there was nothing to be done,
The cord ran deeper,
Bringing you back every night.
A vision,
Haunting my dreams,
Vanishing at daybreak.

Spread your wings, little broken angel.
Spread your wings and shelter the hurting.
Forget the storm at your back,
Forget the beating on your arms,
Forget the world on your shoulders.

Root yourself.
Be a rock.
Be the one they need.

Worry not, little broken angel.
Be what you can.

Pull your pieces together,
Fill in the cracks.
Hold on.
Hold on for them.

Spread your wings, little angel.
Do what you can.
Spread your wings and shelter the hurting.

Rising from the smoke,
Shaking off the ashes of a world destroyed.
The tide is turning,
This broken angel is switching sides.

Her once torn and filthy wings,
Unfold.
From the fire,
Dead plumage gone,
New, shimmering onyx.
Black and full.

Gone are the stains of tears,
Shed by those sheltered.
Gone are the bald spots,
Feathers pickedto make someone else's wings.

She emerges,
A new, beautiful, frightening creature.
Heart of stone,
Voice of ice,
Replaces that which was sweet, warm,
Gentle and nice.

With the strength of new wings,
She pushes those she sheltered,
She throws them into death's waiting arms.

Soaring high on traitor's wings,
She looks down at the frightened faces that she left behind,
Their vacant stares,
Looking their fate in the face.

Heart of stone softened,
Ice melted and tears streamed down her face.
One look towards Heaven,
A prayer on borrowed breath,
"Lord forgive them, they know not what they did."

With a final tear,
She fell.
Trading new life for heartbreak,
And sheltering those who betrayed her.

Get your lips off of me,
You're dangerous.
Don't touch me,
I can't think straight.
Stop,
Take a step back.
Why did I ever get involved?

You used me,
You played me,
You threw me away.

I trusted,
I loved,
I thought you'd stay.
Boy was I stupid,
Silly girl,
What were you thinking?

This needs to end,
I need to walk away,
This needs to quit.
I can't, I fell too hard.
This vicious circle goes 'round and 'round.

The dark shadows pass over the light,
The brush of the past overcomes with such might.
How long have I been in this fight?

I look left,
I look right,
There is no one by my side tonight.

Long have I fought alone.
Long have I hid the pain.
I talk to myself, but it's not the same...

The enemy approaches,
Their numbers have grown.
On my side, it's just me
All alone...

Beautiful in her own way,
Pure,
Living in grace.

How do I make her understand?
How do I make her see?
It isn't her face or her body that appeals to me.
Though she is different from her sisters,
She has ten times the worth to me.

We met on the day when it seemed the sun would never shine brighter,
It filtered through leaves of green,
Light moved around her as though in a dream.

Sweet nymph,
Gentle girl,
I knew as soon as I saw her.
We'd run away together,
Take on the world together,
And when the time comes,
Our ship will go down in flames,
With us holding the torches.

I gave you everything I had,
It still wasn't enough.
I gave you my life,
My voice,
My time.
You took everything and just kept running.
You didn't even look back...

I'm lying here,
Trying to pick myself back up.
You were my family,
My friends,
So why am I choking on your dust?

Why am I so disposable?
Why do I mean so little to you?
After everything we've been through?
I was there for you through it all,
I swore I'd never let you fall.
I striped my own wings and glued them to your back.
And while I fell,
It was you I pushed up.

I put you on a high shelf,
Like a beautiful doll with a china face;
My heart in your hands,
Now you've fallen from grace.
If you come running back to me,
I'll put my tattered remains in your hands,
I'll let one last smile for you cross my face,
And I'll just turn and go.

I gave you everything I had,
You took everything,
You never looked back.

Blow out the candles Birthday Girl,
Try for a moment to forget this cruel world.
Try not to hate that you were born.

Just for a moment,
Let it all slip away.
Don't think about those scars on your arm,
Nor the cuts on your wrist.
Don't think that you're the person no one will miss.
Just blow out the candles Birthday Girl.

Ignore all the problems,
Ignore all the hurting.
Ignore the hole in the wall,
Ignore the shattered glass in the hall,
And ignore the shouts and slamming doors.
Just blow out your candles Birthday Girl.

Close your eyes,
Take a deep breath,
Let it out slow,
And open.
Though you may celebrate by yourself,
Just blow out your candles.

Slamming doors,
Shattered plates,
Angry curses,
Words full of hate.

16 years,
Grown up all too fast,
Shielding everyone else from the inevitable blasts.
Broken soul,
Busted heart,
Watching her entire life fall apart.
Hide the kids,
Protect the dogs,
Pray for mercy from God.

12 years old,
Knowing the time when the burden will be hers is just down the road.
Struggling with her identity,
Just wanting a way out..

4 years old,
Enough fear to make her blood run cold.
Hiding behind her older sister,
Her guardian angel,
Protecting her from harm.
Staring at the monster that she once knew,
Covering her ears when a door is approached,
Because she knows of the inevitable slam.

Closed doors,
Glass in the trash,
Floor swept clean with soft, quiet murmurs.
All at once it seems,
The dragon has run out of fire,
And the storm has ceased.

Meander down the halls,
Touch the broken walls,
The walls that surround you heart.

You watched them crumble,
You watched them fall,
And now you pay the price.

Alone with the hurting,
Alone with the sorrow,
Praying it'll all get better tomorrow.

You let them in,
You let them see,
And now you're back where you used to be.

Day by day, brick by brick,
Rebuilding that wall.
Regrowing the thorns,
Stitching up the places that are now torn.

Loud city,
Fast pace,
Passing cars.
Millions of people,
Trying to keep it together.

Too busy with their normal lives,
To notice the people on the corner,
Begging,
Trying not to look you in the eye,
While the last of their dignity dies.

A single mother,
Two kids already taken away,
A brand new baby on the way.
Her faith is half gone,
And it's all she can do to hold on.
She keeps wishing on shooting stars,
Praying for a brand new start for her and her baby girl.

An old amputee,
Fighting for his country got him a stub that tapers off just below the knee.
He doesn't  need food,
Doesn't need money,
And his sign says something different
"Someone please come talk to me."

Motherless child,
Emotions turned to steel,
His only defense to anger is not to feel.
*****,
Scared,
Hungry.

Loud city,
Fast paced,
Millions of people,
Trying to keep it together.

The city lights keep me awake at night.
Each with their own story to tell.
Their reason to blaze,
To glow.
Brightly.

A man,
Marriage hanging by a thread,
Burying himself in his work.

A wife,
Crying bitterly into the night,
Her lover having left an hour ago.

A child,
Staying with their grandparents,
Wondering what will become of their family.

So many stories,
So many lights.
It's no wonder I can't sleep at night.

People wonder why I don't talk or why I don't sleep.
The reason is because you're not here with me.
You were my heart,
You were my life.
My rock,
My anchor,
My angel.

I know I let you down
I know I wasn't there,
But it's because I didn't want to see,
I didn't want to believe...

I didn't want to see my world slipping away from me.
I didn't want to see you so weak,
I didn't want to see how I abandoned you...

I lived in denial,
I lived in fear,
But deep down I knew I'd wake up one day,
And you wouldn't be here.
I'll never forgive myself and I'll never forget,
But please come back to me...

I'm coming home, love.
I'm coming home to you.

Though I may be hundreds of miles away,
Though I may have to walk on broken glass,
I'm coming home.

I know you feel lonely,
I know you're missing me tonight.
Honey, just think of me,
Feel me holding you tight.
Think of me and know that I'm coming home.

I'll walk through Hell and fields of fire,
I'll fly through the eye of the worst storm.
Even if I'm delayed,
Please just know,
I'm coming home to you.

I have two constant companions.
Though they've been there through everything,
No other two souls are more determined to drag me under.
Who are they?
One is named Anxiety.

Anxiety is a small green and brown monster,
Perched on my shoulder,
Whispering in my ear,
A list of everyone and everything I shoould fear.
Immobilizes me,
Suffocates me,
Choking me out and knocking me down.
Feeding on my fear,
Anxiety grows larger and larger,
Until I am the one on it's shoulder.
Whispering in their ear,
Begging,
Please stop...

The other is named Depression.
A jealous mistress indeed,
Depression keeps me under lock and key,
Blinds me until she's all I can see.
If she suspects that I start wander,
If she deems me unfaithful,
i am pulled down.
Smothered.
Suffocated.

My two constand companions:
Anxiety and Depression.
One, all consuming darkness,
The other,
Mortal paralyzation.
Both hell-bent on destroying me.

A flash of silver,
A touch of steel.
I hold my breath as it makes me feel.

A stinging pain,
Oh, how I swore I'd never do it again.
A crimson line,
One more,
One more,
And one last time.

Pulling down the sleeves,
Smiling to please.
Feeling numb.

Wishing to hurt,
Wishing to cry,
Wishing to scream.
Why?
I'm tired of telling myself
"One last time."

7 am: Up and at 'em!
Tired kids, two temper tantrums and one major headache.
Late out the door,
We're gonna miss the bus!
Ran up just in time to see Kid #1 off and watch her pull away,
Kid #2 pulling my hand,
Crying, whining.
Trudging home, Sighing as the door clicks shut behind me.
Thus begins another day...

8 am: No coffee, again...
4 Advil because at this point, I've built up too much of a tolerance for anything less...
Sit with kiddo as she tries to fall back asleep,
Wander into the living room,
Look longingly at the couch.
"Maybe just for a moment.."

12 pm: Chores, chores, chores.
Kiddo is whining for lunch,
I still haven't showered..
The house is a mess,
Laundry still needs to be done.
I'm so exhausted I could cry!

3:45 pm: Kid #1 is home.
She's cranky as always,
And the war begins..
The kids scream at each other all day until eventually I join in..

5-6 pm: Mom walks through the door,
Dinner is late and she's complaining,
Yelling about everything under the sun,
Nothing I do is good enough..

10 pm: Another tantrum by Kid #2,
Trying to get them both to bed.

11 pm: Thus ends another day...
Tomorrow we do it all over again...

Dancing slowly in an empty room,
My body,
Free for the darkness and sweet smell of lilacs to consume.

Not a speck of light,
Not a wall near,
Just an infinite space,
Tangible cloak of darkness,
Pulling me in.

Lilac-scented space,
Perfumed madness,
Swirling around me,
My graceful partner.

End of the dance,
The floor falls through,
My neck is saved only by a noose.

Dancing eternally in an empty room,
A tangible cloak of darkness,
And a lilac-scented space.

Darkness falls,
I feel myslef slipping.
Who am I now?
Who've I become?

Falling,
Slipping,
Reaching,
Scrambling.
Help me!
Somebody, please!
Pull me from the darkness,
Save me from myself.

Night comes
But for me there's no moon,
No stars.
The only silver is the glint of my scars.
No light,
No hope,
Just a blanket of cold.

Someone, please!
Save me from myself...

You are infinite,
You are beautiful.
A twinkling star among a black sky,
A rainbow during a hurricane,
A rose among thistles.
But you don't see that...

Who made you this way?
Who took the light out of your eyes?
Who pushed and shoved 'til you could take it no more?
Who beat and broke you?
Tell me Darling, who?

Who broke your heart until it could feel no more?
Who made it to where no more tears could be shed?
Who ****** all the life from your body?
Tell me Darling, who?

Tell me Darling, who?
For God help them if you do,
Maybe they should try feeling this way too...

The Hand of Death grips me,
It's icy hold,
Peaceful, sweet.

The sweet voice,
Beckoning me,
Cajoling me,
The Hand of Death pulls me into the light.

The clinging grasps,
The searching fingers,
They pull me back,
Establishing an everlasting game of tug-of-war.
They don't understand,
They need to let me go.
It's for the best.

I'm straining for peace,
Straining for love,
But staying for them.
Why?
I honestly don't know..

I came face to face with my demons.
They teased and taunted, terrified and tricked me into submission.
The torture went on and on, battle scars up and down my arms.
And I came out, beaten, but breathing.

People avoided me and whispered, thinking I couldn't hear them.
Those who didn't, looked at me and said
"You're lucky to be alive"
Shocked were their faces when I told them
"No, not really..."

I wish they would have killed me,
I wish I wasn't here
I wish I didn't have to live in fear
I wish for the sweet caress of death.

Soft, tender, loving, peaceful.

Sinking,
Drowning,
Gasping for air.

Hands outstretched,
I know you're out there somewhere.
Please don't let me down,
Please don't let me go.
I'm trying to fight,
But I can't do this alone.

Pull me out,
Don't let me drown.
It's caving in on me,
Pressure that I can't see.

Been so long on my own,
Holding tight to the hope that you will show.
Asking for you to pull me out,
But you just ad weight and let me drown.

Running out of time,
No air,
Please don't let me go...

What if you told me not to speak to you again?
Well if I had something to say,
I would have found another way.

I would write you a letter,
Have it sent out the next day.
If you don't answer,
I'll know you threw it away.

I would send a friend to tell you.
If he hangs his head and walks away,
I'll know you slammed the door in his face.

I would hire a skywriter to put my words in the clouds.
If you didn't call,
I would know you didn't go outside that day.

If all else fails,
I would learn sign language,
Show up on your doorstep and sign
"You told me not to speak to you again."

How do I get through this?
What do I say?
You don't seem to understand how much pain this brings me...
To see you with her,
To see her step into the place I had once been,
To see you acting like she can fill my shoes so easily...
To see her in MY bed,
In YOUR arms,
Interlocking hands with fingers that not long ago were on MY skin.

I'm happy for you love,
But I don't wanna see her face.
I'm Wonder Woman,
An Amazonian,
Life's bullets bouncing off of me,
But I don't wanna see you with her,
I'm not that strong..

I don't wanna see you with her,
Her hands on you,
Acting like she knows you,
When she doesn't know what you've been through.

She doesn't know that you hate your father,
Or that your father may not be your father.
She doesn't know that when you were little,
You were visited by the spirit of a relative.
She doesn't know all the times we held each other while we cried..
Lost friends,
Bad family,
And an assault I will never get over..

I know I ended it first,
But I don't wanna see you with her..
I have to bite my tongue every time we talk,
Keep myself from telling you how I fell again,
Remembering why I stayed so long..
Keep myself from being selfish...

I don't wanna see you with her,
But I want you to be happy...

I don't wanna see you with her,
Which is why I need to walk away...

Please let me go...

Having the same dream for months.
Single space,
Covered in mist,
Looming,
Covering the ground,
Until I can't even see my own feet.

You appear out of nowhere,
Like an apparition,
Walking on the mist.

Face turned a way,
Shield of hair.
Fluid movements,
Driping with grace,
Radiating power.

I feel you more,
Closer and closer you get.
I reach for you,
My hands ache for you.
Graze your skin,
Hand closes around your wrist,
And you vanish,
Leaving only a feeling of emptiness,
An air of sadness in your wake.

And t it changes,
Sadness turns to fear.
Then comes the dread,
The feeling of knowing;
Knowing that none can protect you here.

Dark figure approaches,
Clothed in evil,
Masked in temptation.
Part of me wants to run,
Part of me wants to embrace.

The mask subsides,
Only for a moment,
A familiar feeling,
And the recognition of fluid grace.
It's you.

You're gone,
The mist subsides,
And I am awake.

What if my pain showed on the outside?
What if the mental scars showed on my skin?
The emotional wounds,
The cuts and bruises.
Yellow and green,
Black and blue.
If everyone could see what you do,
Would you stop?

If everyone saw every time you made me feel worthless,
Every time I was made to compete,
Every time you ignored me,
Would you stop?
If everyone could see how you hurt me,
Would you stop?
If you were held accountable for every word,
Every action,
Every ounce of pain you've caused me,
Would you stop?

What if the evidence was right in front of your eyes?
What if you were no longer able to deny the proof?
No amount of smiles and lies can cover it now..

Here's your proof,
These words on paper,
Like ink on my skin.
Will you stop?

I've always been there,
I've always cared.
I've given up sleep,
Foregone birthday joy,
Listened until my ears gave out.
So tell me,
Where are you now?

You're tired?
So am I, but I'll stay awake for you.
You need something?
Ok, let me drop whatever I'm doing.
I need something?
***** for me...

I'm not your counselor,
Of course I care,
But I can't always be there.
I have my own issues.
My life is crumbling you see,
Oh wait, you don't,
You don't even see me...

Head to toe,
Everything goes.
One mark here,
Another there.
But hey, if she's pretty, who's to care?

One more pound,
A different nose,
A smaller waist.
She looks in the mirror and makes a face.
Everything goes.

No more food,
Bigger *****.
There's nothing to lose.

Her perception of beauty sealed her fate,
It took her life,
Oh such a waste.
And now I remember the way she was,
And how I loved her "flaws".

Everything has changed.
My grandpa could work circles around young men,
He would laugh and play with me.
My mom was my best friend,
My dad was the coolest person ever.
Siblings were to play with,
And my stuffed animals would fight the monsters under my bed.

Everything has changed.
My grandpa can barely walk now and sleeps  all day,
My mom and I hate each other and try to stay away,
I now know that my dad is a cruel, sick *******.
And instead of having siblings to play, I had siblings to raise.
Now I realize that no one can save me and the "monsters" are inside of me.
Everything has changed.

Keep your eyes open,
This is your warning.
Close them, and lose yourself.

You're surrounded by monsters,
Lurking in the shadows,
Watching and waiting.
Though I know your body's weary,
And all you want is to give in,
I'm telling you,
Keep your eyes open.

They're sitting there,
Just waiting for you to fail.
Waiting for you to fall.
If you slow,
If you sleep,
They'll catch you.
Keep your eyes open.

Run,
Hide,
Don't close your eyes.

Once upon a time, you never loved me.
Once upon a time, I was a happy child.
Once upon a time, I didn't feel like a stranger in my own body.
Once upon a time, I could actually feel emotion.
The thing about "once upon a time" is,
It's a big ******* fairy tale.

It's dark down here...
In my hole...
Someone please save me!

It echos down here with my calls for help...
I don't like it down here!
How did I get down here?
I was pushed...
By who, you ask?
Everyone...

On the way down, I got scarred.
Razor sharp words and actions cut my arms and wounded me.
I fell and became broken...
And now?
I can't seem to get out...

Relaxation of muscles,
Slowly of breath,
Peace like this is achieved only in death.

Slipping further and further,
A spell so sweet,
Only interrupted by the chaos of dreams.

The bitterness of life,
The pain of love,
The grief of loss,
None can reach me here.
Peace swallows me whole.

I tried so hard to keep you safe,
I held it all in until I couldn't anymore...
Lord knows I tried...

I thought I could do it,
I swore up and down,
I smiled outside while inside I broke down...

The truth hit me in the face,
Though, I tried so hard to deny...
It doesn't matter how hard I try,
I'll never be able to keep you safe.
I am the problem...

Just keep your distance,
You'll be alright,
Just know that I love you,
And that it's for you that I fight.

You mean more than the world,
You're my shining star,
Just keep your distance,
You'll still shine bright.
Just know that I love you,
And it's for you that I fight.

I look in the mirror,
But who could this be?
Surely it is not me?

The girl in the mirror,
She has no life,
She has no light.

The girl in the mirror,
She has no smile,
She has not for a while...
She is battered and torn,
And she looks worn.

The girl in the mirror,
She has no strength,
She had no fight, but I might.

I walk away from the mirror,
I leave her behind.
Goodbye Girl In The Mirror,
You will not be me anymore.

Laughable, lovable,
Cuddly and sweet.
But threaten his family and you're dead meat.

His growl rolls out like thunder,
His feet are apart,
His body is squared,
The hair on his back stands up,
And his teeth are bared.

His fangs flash like lightening,
You have every right to be scared.
You can tell he means business!

Take heed, for your next move could very well be your last.
As he moves to face the threat,
You can hear his growl clearly say
"Come any closer and I'll rip you to shreds"

Why won't you leave my head?
You're stalking my heart,
Invading my dreams.

You don't want me,
I live for you...
I've tried so hard to be angry,
I've tried so hard to hate you,
But you're so sweet at night.
So comfortable when you pull me in,
So sweet when you kiss me,
I almost let myself believe it's real...

The jarring sound of my own alarm pulls me from you,
Watching you smirk as I'm forced to leave.
You know you'll be in my head all day,
While you can put me from yours.
You know you'll see me later,
Whether I want it or not..

I left my heart on your bedroom floor,
Like ***** laundry it was dropped.
What was I thinking?
Where was my mind?
Why did I think it would be different this time?

A beautiful night,
Our first kiss.
The memories haunt me...

I left my heart on your bedroom floor;
Forgotten, it was carelessly dropped.
Hopefully you remember it whenever you look at her.

Safety. Comfort. Stability.
These things, like my life, are all up in the air.
They are a shiny red balloon,
Floating way up high.
I am the child,
Jumping higher and higher,
Trying to grasp it while it floats away.

Higher and higher,
Helium dreams,
Drifting into the clouds,
Showing no signs of stopping.

The child in me is stubborn,
Refusing to let go,
Refusing to give up,
Throwing a tantrum.
The child in me wants her balloon.
My helium dreams.

What do you do when the tears run out?
When he pain becomes so much that you can't remember a life without?
What happens when you can't breathe?
Tell me, what do you do?

Do you lie?
Do you smile?
Do you wear long sleeves to hide the damage done?
I'll tell you, I've done all of these things, yet I still have not won.

I'm still here.
I still live in pain.
Never without constant fear that I'll never be the same.

I cannot cry,
I cannot breathe,
I wish again for the shelter of the long sleeve.
I cannot feel,
I cannot speak,
I fear being labeled a freak...

So tell me again, what do you do?
I need something new.
I don't know how long I can go,
Before I lose control...

I don't have the strength to stand.

I'm done with the crying,
I'm done with the hurt,
I've given up fighting and I stay down in the dirt.

I'm numb,
I'm broken,
But I'm just sitting silently,

I'm done with the screaming,
I'm done with the yelling,
I'm done trying to make you hear me!

I can't make you hear me,
I can't make you see what you're doing to me.
Why can't you see?
Would you care?
Well, I don't have the strength anymore,
I'm done.

You asked me in a dream what I miss the most.
The dream ended before I could reply,
To tell you there's no one thing.
Not one,
But many.

1. I miss the way you talked to me. You called me "baby girl" like it was my name...

2. I miss the way you could hold every one of my broken pieces together,
Embrace like a kiln,
Melding the edges together.
Arms that felt like home to this nomad.

3. I miss how you're both my greatest strength,
And my biggest weakness...
The only man besides my father that I can't help but cry over.

4. I miss how you insisted on taking care of me,
An independent princess who got a little too used to her king...

5. I miss how you encouraged me in everything,
Convinced that together we could conquer the world...

6. I miss how you know every inch of me,
Using everything to your advantage.

7. I miss the way you would look at me,
Like I was a rare emerald,
But now I guess diamonds are more your taste...

8. I miss how quickly you became important to me,
Our lives intertwining together.

9. I miss our phone calls.
Hours at a time,
Just listening to your voice.
My inability to sleep without talking to you first...
Maybe that's why I'm up all night now?

10. Most of all,
The one thing I should've told you long ago,
I miss you.
I miss my Sun and Stars,
My lover,
My best friend.

I miss us...

We're called survivors,
Told we're heros,
So strong,
Yet treated as fragile glass.
Why?
Because we're the people at the back of the class.
We're those people that get thrown nervous glances,
As if we're a grenade about to blow.
We're those people who wear our feelings and hard times on the outside,
Yet we don't suffer as much as it seems.

These feelings,
These pains,
These tragic affairs,
They're not ours,
They're yours.

We're the people at the back of the class,
The ones who feel with our hearts instead of our hands,
The ones who shove aside our hurt to pull you from yours.

We take our proverbial wings and glue them to your back,
Keeping you afloat.
We fall further and further from Heaven,
Giving you your glimpses.

We crack and we bleed,
But we put on a good front,
We pull ourselves together and offer you a smile.

We are the broken glass,
The bombs that have blown,
And those glances thrown back in your face.
Avert your eyes like always,
Ignore those false heros,
Don't acknwledge these hands,
These hearts who ache for you.
After all,
We're just some kids in the back of the class.