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 Nov 2015 Anshita Mehrotra
NV
 Nov 2015 Anshita Mehrotra
NV
BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING PEOPLE,
THAT NO ONE WILL LOVE THEM UNTIL THEY START LOVING THEMSELVES.
YOU HAVE TO STOP PLANTING THIS IDEA IN PEOPLES BRAINS THAT THEY ARE UNWORTHY OF LOVE,
JUST BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN STRUGGLE.
 Nov 2015 Anshita Mehrotra
NV
he just sounded a bit down over the phone.
and all i really wanted to do,
was wrap my arms around his body like a ring on a finger.
to tell him about the times i get lonely too,
and how the only things that take up space is air,
and the echoes of my heartbeat.
and i swear to god,
i could have cried at the fact that technology only made it easier to love someone you aren't able to touch.
the drop in his voice deeper than any ocean i've been to.
but an ocean i don't mind swimming in,
sinking in.
it's 4:28 in the morning and i don't know if all this writing even makes sense,
or if it's just as bad as the one before.
but one day when he gets lonely again,
i just hope that i'm blessed enough to pick up the keys and drive my way into his arms.
 Nov 2015 Anshita Mehrotra
NV
01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself


02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself
 Nov 2015 Anshita Mehrotra
NV
when last have i had a 3am kind of conversation,
with my star like emotions scattered all over the darkest parts of me,
mimicking the sky,
my moon like persona that always returns back to hiding me away.  
when last have i felt safe enough to let somebody in,
to not have visions of my vulnerability being tied to the bed after he locks the door behind him,
his voice like some sort of broken record that keeps on repeating that
"it's gonna be okay."
when last have i had a shoulder to cry on that isn't my own,
for my neck to stop worrying that the tear filled sea on either side won't get waves big enough to drown me.  
when last okay,
when last has it felt good to be me.
Back space
Delete
Erase
All I see is your face
I spend hours pondering what to write you
Have I been replaced?
Do you miss me too?
Do you remember how much I love the color blue?
Or have you simply forgotten
Forgotten all of these trivial things
Because I remember everything.
I remember how much you love the show skins
And how you would always tell me about it
I remember the day you got your permit
How could I forget?
You were so nervous
But I knew you could do it
I remember your birthday
May 21st
I remember that your mom was a nurse
Your eyes are a beautiful brown
You have a scar above your lip
Oh goodness, how could I ever forget?
You love to act, model, and use your brain
You're so ******* smart
And I've always seen you to be so brave
You're so beautiful
And I miss you dearly
I can picture you so clearly
Please tell me you can do the same?
Because not a day goes by where I don't think of your name
Backspace
Delete
Erase
I never send you these letters
-Love, Chase
Kin
Brother, I am fire
Surging under the ocean floor.
I shall never meet you, brother--
Not for years, anyhow;
Maybe thousands of years, brother.
Then I will warm you,
Hold you close, wrap you in circles,
Use you and change you--
Maybe thousands of years, brother.
 Nov 2015 Anshita Mehrotra
ZL
I can be awkward,
shy, introverted,
nervous, and my voice is weird
but my smile is beautiful.

I can be obnoxious,
dramatic, crazy,
needy, confusing,
but aren't my jokes amusing?

Truth is, I'm a hot mess everyday.
I smoke like a chimney
and drink away my kidneys
poor pretty girl with a ugly bladder,

If you don't fall for me,
I hope you at least fall in love with my laughter.
separated and whethered by time.
two pieces of a whole.
making our ways ever closer to one another.
bound to collide once more
Bound to embrace each other till the end of time.
We are
*Pangea
Sapphire drops of moonlight bounced off her umbrella and a cool, smoky mist escaped her crimson lips every once and so often.There she stood alone, on a loud, bright and miserable winters’ night. Pensively gazing over the glistening city streets before her.

Echoes of light gleamed from the windows of bars and cafes. Reflections of lover’s kisses melted in a cold November rain. Live music, laughter, conversation! O what a cheerful sight is the city at night, for all but one this evening.

Such striking acts of delight and love did nothing but depress her.

This loner longs to stand with the pack and live her life, instead of merely existing. She is the Steppenwolf of her time. Unwanted and alone. And much like the original Steppenwolf, she gives and cares for others very much like family. Alas, despite her best efforts, she could never fit in.

And perhaps, never will.
The one who follows the crowd, will usually get no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone, is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

-Albert Einstein
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