I don't know what to say
When you ask me if I'm okay
When the only thing that will take my sad away
Is the day I stop wanting you to stay

Everynight i cry myself to sleep
I see you in my dreams
Cant help myself but fall
I feel ive been through it all

You **** out the best in me
You drain my energy
With every ounce of force
You take all what is yours

Then i wake up alone
I realize what is home
Home is not here
Home is whenever you are near

I couldve given you all i have
But it still wouldnt be enough
To me you are hell and ecstasy
I take whatever you can give to me

You were my company
You were everything to me
My pain, my fear, my remedy
Before you, i was free

I let go of the little things
So to you i could cling
I: the arm; and you: the sling
After i, you cut the strings

I reckon that now, things wont hold like glue
That i better forget everything about you
Though you havent got a clue
I know you think about it too

When you think, you do et out loud
Your shadow is so vague
That when light shines through you, no doubt
Your limpid aura reveals; you are everything but opaque

When you sing, your voice
Like whispers from a gallery
People echo silence like noise
While your flair remain boxed in a chandlery

Sometimes you get scared when you lose control
But their flaws dont reflect your soul
Their actions arent yours thats all
But you can be more than who you are
And thats what makes you individual

I was very nervous
This was my first time
I was unsure of my actions
But I did it anyways

We weren't that close
Just about right
But something inside me was off
I could feel it bubbling inside

We started to joke around
Innocent chatter
But as time passed
This feeling grew bigger

We went to a friends house
School work as usual
But something was off
She wasn't her usual self

Blood pumping faster
Sweat starting to form
My brain was still working
But my body loosing control

Beside each other about to sleep
My mind blurring
My body turning
My heart pounding

Her soft skin touching against mine
Silk black hair smothered in my face
Her figure was small, tiny perhaps
She fit perfectly in my embrace

Hands holding at the end
Tighter and tighter
I could hear our breathing
And hearts beating together

I was very nervous
This was my first time
I was unsure of my actions
But I did it anyways

I'm coming down my high again
I've lost my soul
I've lost a friend 
Unhinged
I lie and I pretend
That it's my choice to let it in
Infatuation
Euphoric floe 
Imagination
I let life go
This must be heaven
No one must know
This moment is my private show
I am an addict
I'm what remains
Slave to my Savior 
In crystal chains
I know that later I'll feel the shame
Of a never ending cycle
Of a life that stays the same

through words,
I heal my wounds
by completely exposing them

something in my world broke
- i sometimes think to myself

i don't feel very young sometimes

i feel i have lived a thousand lives
and


and
i don't know if this is the way i'm supposed to feel

i feel empty and lifeless
like i can't hold a conversation
these days
not small
not big

i don't think i'm very interesting
or young
these days

maybe i never was?