My words are tears that,
flow down through my pen.

I'm in love with you
And the thought of fiction makes my heart quench for more
The thought of my fingers intertwining with yours
The thought of having your heavy hands in mine, as one
Is all I'm asking for

Your lips scented of cigarettes I crave
More than any other drug I've taken
And if I overdose from the love you gave
Then I'd rather die a life that's worth getting into your haven

The thought of getting drunk by your breath leaves me breathless
Each lick, each line that goes straight to the head
Would be enough for me to stay up all night, restless

Your veins will be the last trace of blood in me
Injected and infected like a deadly disease
The thought of having you inside of me, moving freely
Coursing throughout every inch and limb of flesh that I own
Gets me higher like ******* on ice
As cold and heavy like your hands, like stones

You will be my favourite
My favourite everything
Better than the drugs that I've taken
The liquor I've been saving
To keep me awake on Friday nights
You will be better than the *** I've been having and faking
You will be better than any other man alive

And the thought of having you is like fiction asking for hope in delusion
And hate asking for love
For another chance, another try

n.j.

The
tone
of
his
voice
was
poetry
to
my
heart

I wish I were
your favourite scar

The one that you
enjoy telling stories about
as you run your fingers across

Like a prized possession
you got by accident


*AA

Invisibility;

it need not mean
to not physically be seen,
for eyes look on,
taking in the
loneliness
I don;

crowds and rooms
bursting loud with tunes,
faces happily grimacing,
I am grimacing back,
revelry I am feigning,
as on spins the DJ track;

professional smile-maker,
the most experienced faker,
regarded by passerbyers,
they know nothing of my
insides                     on fire;

room crowded
and still alone,
optimism shrouded
by apathetic groan;

You
see
"me,"
but
you
don't
see
me;

Invisibility.

I should've* put on a fake smile.
I should've pushed through it all.
I should've acted happy.

Maybe then, I wouldn't have lost you.
Maybe then, I wouldn't have drowned myself in alcohol that night.
Maybe then, I wouldn't be dead inside.

I recall once upon a time, when you held me, you said you loved me.
I remember sharing laughs and smiles, making memories.
Now, you're making new memories, sharing love.
Not even eleven days later.

Maybe, you didn't love me.
And maybe, I was just an object that had no meaning, just a title.

Days dissolve
like islands;
in love.

Kisses grow into trees,

Magical things happen
when its you and me;

and
our happiness – decreed.


- 30 Apr 14