follow
that little red car
it’s going on an adventure
and i want to know where it ends up
and with who
and if there’s more darkness than light
or if it’s all been
one big misunderstanding

we are too scared
to admit that
we are already dying, already dead
we are too scared
to admit that
there is more life
in a stone
than in our bones
and we are too scared
to admit that
the river has
already flooded
and already been drained
and we are too scared
to admit that
this life
that we are living
is a sack of seeds
sitting in the attic
waiting to be planted
and that
the only flowers
that grow
are the ones
we name in our dreams

suspend
your disbelief
for one moment
and see how
this moment
believes
in you

i walk a path
a golden path,
lined with pink petals of light
i dance en pointe,
i dance on point
to the call of the birds in the sky
and the light is gold,
the light is gold
and you’re holding my hand like a dream
and the clouds are sighing,
the breeze is sighing
and my ears are ringing with pleas
to never leave me,
please never leave me
and always stay by my side
but the light is leaking,
and the light is leaving
and the sun is closing its eyes
and you’re just a shadow of a dream i once had,
a dream i once had in the night
of love at first sight,
and then loss at last sight
and a flash of light in between

let the light come in
let the light in
to where there is no light
let it sit and sizzle and part the darkness
until the only thing left standing
is the light reflected in you

this house burned down a
long time ago but the ghosts
are still on fire

the catch is that
there is nobody there to catch you
because you are the universe
and you have to catch yourself

it almost seems
like a crime
how different we can be
from one day to the next
there’s almost this
ludicrous sense of guilt
for having changed
for having led everyone
to believe that
you are one thing
one day
and something else entirely
the next

but i have decided
that is the only way
to grow, so please
take everything i say
with a grain of salt
and don’t hold it against me
if one day i grow
to love you
when i hated you so
just the day before

i do not know
what to do
they say follow your heart
but i cannot feel my heart
it is a dead weight in my chest
a dead stone
floating in the dead sea
there is nothing alive in the center of me
no bird calls
no song sings
there is not even a subtle spring breeze
to blow away the tumbleweeds
they say follow your heart
but i don’t know what that feels like
all i know is a mind
full of tornados
and houses
being swept away to Oz
and all i know is that
i do not wish to go there myself

there was a time
when love flowed
so deep in my veins
i thought i was a river

it must mean something
to go away
and then come back
with your heart
in the shape of
a weeping willow

what happened
to my name
when it fell
into the river
of your lips?
where did it go
and where did i go
when we both
drowned
and what did you do
when you felt us
hit the riverbed
of your heart?

i don’t know anything
about love
i only know
that it’s a four letter
word
with so much potential

this is the way
the world works:
by threading my arm
through yours
in a floral weave
of madness and grace
and then ripping apart
the light,
sending in the dark,
only to yell surprise!
the light’s been here
this whole time

i dig
my own grave
i dig
through and through
until i come out
the other side
alive
for the first time
in my life

so this is me
deep within the jungle
of myself
howling at a flowerless moon
that will not blossom
until i do

forget about being loved
just shrug off your coat
slip into the fog
and let the wild green things
have you
and let the rainy black nights
drown you
and when you awake
in the morning
let everything that is not you
rise with the morning sun
and leave this world behind

and here i loved
the only thing
that could ever be loved
which was everything
or nothing at all

a prayer for the lonely
is lit
and it burns
red hot doves into the sky
who then relay
the message to the
eternal ones
who light a candle in return

who are you
when no one is looking
and where do you go
when you set yourself free?

love walked on the moon
before any of you
laid your eyes upon it
and love got drunk
on itself
before any of you
took a sip of that wine
and when love finally
makes its way home
it will be before you
but only in order to wait
for your arrival

if i remember correctly
you picked
the apple first,
and when we entered the house
of the Loved Ones,
it was only then
that you told me
what you’d done
and now i am homeless
and you are still
the one i love