My judgement has never been more clouded,
too many thoughts and my mind is crowded.
To the naked eye I am invisible,
for you think you see me happy when in fact I am miserable.
I breath in the day and exhale in the night,
as the day grows old so does my sight.
Was it me being naive or blind?
To act with my heart when I should listened to my mind.
Numb to emotions who needs them?
I will surely be the last one who feeds them.
There is a fine line between hope and despair,
I wouldn't think as such if life were to be fair.
I walk the path that fate has chose,
quick to the open door that seems to always close.

Staring into an empty void.....
they ask "whats wrong", and silently I get annoyed.
Deep meditation until it's broken,
a smile to throw them off and a lie is then spoken.
"I'm fine" is how I respond,
back to reality as I drift back from the beyond.
A beyond filled with infinite what ifs,
like an endless drop from the highest of cliffs.
They cannot possibly see what I see,
for you would be as lost as I am, and never be free.
I bear this burden, and I know I am cursed,
to be trapped in ones mind continuously immersed.
My thoughts are mine and mine alone,
my walls can't be broken, made from impenetrable stone.
Seems that I am on the outside looking within,
only my future knows where my present has been.

I understand sometimes we all forget,
which sometimes we can misinterpret as regret.
But I can still feel it in the air all this animosity.
But I still admit when I'm wrong and i stay true to my honesty.
I escape my reality through my dreams,
where my place is perfect, no one hollers or screams.
Sometimes for the worlds sake,
I wish I would stay asleep and never awake.
I feel as though my existence was a huge mistake,
like I was brought up to believe something that turned out to be fake.
Always hoping for a better tomorrow,
which only brings sadness and sorrow.
Why is this life so lonely and cold?
Why are you feeling like this your only 20 years old!
Snap out of it, you got your whole life ahead of you,
life is hard and its gonna be tough to get through.
How is that a option, when life spits in your face,
laughing at you, telling you your worthless and full of disgrace.
So what happens when you stop eating and give up the good fight?
Would you turn to the dark or head into the light?
I'm no where near a criminal, not even close to homicide,
don't get me wrong I wont stoop as low as to suicide.
Maybe its a figment of my imagination, and its all in my head,
and all this will go away once I take my sorry *** to bed.
For once Mr. Wright, guess what? your wrong.
You honestly think anyone will listen to your sorry *** song?
What makes you think that anyone would care?
They already have enough problems that they have to bear.
No one is gonna listen to those lonely nights to help you cope,
remember when you extended your hand? What did they say, “nope.”
why keep going, you should just give up hope ,
I'll tie the knot in the noose and we can finish it with this rope.
Things don't seem to get any better, but worse.
I wish I can go to a better time and play my life in reverse.
You can say I'm crazy or even absurd,
but just remember this is spoken from the insomniac word.

If my voice was as loud as my heart would you hear it?

I was in love with you
with the silly things you did
and obnoxious words you said
but over night
you changed
there's now nothing
for you to do
or say
that'll bring back
who I fell for

They write of singing birds and swaying trees
Of loving and being loved
While I lie here rotting,
I write of broken hearts.
I know of how bees sting
How the ocean is capable
Of drowning and devouring and such
It was so beautiful in the beginning
So clear, so peaceful, how it brings serenity to one's soul
Never thought I would drown beneath the waves.
Never thought of it at all.
I write of a wound that won't heal
Even time has abandoned and left me hanging
I write of a song of how all these years
I have been struck with the same lightning.

on most days I feel
either nothing at all or
everything at once.

All these voices yelling in my head
Keep saying no that's not what I said
I don't want to lose myself today be
Left to soak in this endless dread
Each day is like a gun to the head Wondering when the trigger will pull
Then I fall dead
But I'm not gone yet
I take that that's a sign to progress
To rise above with the rest
Not death
Not hate
Not guilt served on a silver platter
But the truth is it's all mind over matter.