Who do you become when everyone is gone?

It's empty.
Taken days ago.

I need words that don't reflect myself.

Words that aren't empty.

Words that make you feel something.

When you write the wrong words
don't erase them entirely

Instead,
scribble above them
and below them
the alternate spelling
and better-fitting synonyms

Sometimes you don't need a clean slate
You need the slate that carries pain and blood
Hate and love
Memories and regrets

What will one be
without mistakes
if not a blank page
with no name

I will never wish to be dead
because , for the record ,
none of my previous wishes
ever came true

I have an obsession with depression
When the sun makes summer days everlasting
and I'm left grasping at melancholy ideas
my mind slips back into it's natural state
self-hate will forever govern my fate
and I'm tired of living like it's all okay
and that I'm supposed to live a certain way
I'm over the monotony and hopeless love
that can't be found because constantly flirting and
never getting anywhere is doing nothing but hurting my
already shattered heart while the dreams that I once had
that people convinced me were bad have all been beaten down to more realistic goals based off of what I've always been told.
When I stop doing what is expected of me
that's when I can finally see
my true self gasping for air in the pit of my stomach where
I pushed it so long ago;

clawing to get out.