In the dark of what I feel
Would anyone care enough
To decipher it all for me
Troubled by this confusion and
These unanswered questions
That always haunted me
Everything around me is perfect
While I am the only one drowning

In the wake of my sanity
Looking for answers, I wander
Pushing myself in the deep cold of night
There is something buried inside
That keeps my hope alive
Stuck in the middle this hide and seek
Where these unknown emotions
Seem to be hidden forever

In the light of what is hidden
As I watch the smiles around me
I watch myself getting insaner
Sometimes I envy their grins
But then that makes me wonder
What if they too wear a mask
And behind those fake smiles is
Everything they cannot bear

Perhaps in this life, a mess
Being a pretender is the best.

Midst the ravishing night
There I stood in angst and agony
Before the distant arch
Beneath the firmament radiant bright
Conquered by my own longevity
Waiting in a shell of a body
For the time to be right
Trying to run, trying to escape
But perhaps what's held me in place
Are the demons I draped

Within me lies a scar of survival
Carved by the blades of insanity
Of what little sanity that's s left
That fades away in the smog of my self-rival
In this night dim enough,silence silent enough
Against my vision, Against my throat
Plead the Watcher of the skies
To battle,end the fight;my fight
Would all this ease my pain?
Or is this just a fallen effort with no gain

In the silence and fear that drove me here
Striking down the life i knew
Here I stand on that arch
Letting the demons empower me
Allowong them to make me void
The past regrets only question me
Am I dream? Or am I dreaming
Is this a testimony I must confess?
Should I fight them one more time
Or would it be best to cease?

Her heart out of apathy
Nor of greif or cold
The pain behind her cloak
Mask of numbness,disguised
Silence bushed over her
In ribbons of broken promises

Recalling her blissful memories
When he embraced by the creek
Kissed her in the fall
And made her immortal in a single glare
Without even kissing at all
But Alas! The present is bleak

What's left after all false contentment
Are the symphonies of static orchestras
Holding her breath just to starve away
She loves and yet is forced to hate
Since everything was lost in play
But his one esthetic stare is
Whats haunts her night and day

Plunged in bewilderment
There he lay,slain within
Mocking himself in disdain
Unrelenting bitterness eating him
With time running out of joint
The heart wanting to say more
Much much and much more
Drained by the deepest remorse
Of keeping them words unsaid
Words that once were lifeless
Have now made living, a torture
Nagging him for nothing but,
Procrastination that took far too long
Took him somewhere unknown
Somewhere that only he could see it

Now sprawling in comatose, staring
At the nothing around him, wondering
Would he ever find peace
Rolling up his sleeves and pulling out
The blade not of grass but shiny
Struggling for the choice to make
One last choice,but would it matter?
Stricken with nothing but neglect
Existing to nobody but himself
He had decided his fate
Letting the waves drown him
Nobody to ****** the metal away
Freeing his soul of the debilitated body
With a cut so deep, he had found his peace

With the day almost done
The light closing in all around me
Sunlight that no longer shines
The dusk I cant outrun
In the crowd of shades
My head hung low and forlorn
Lacking hope,trust and glow
Surrounded by people and yet alone

With the night almost begun
The stars trying to lighten up
Knowing how dark it's getting down here
Peering deep into the darkness 
My eyes beginning to see,but
So far what I have seen and known
Is only and only that I am
Surrounded by people and yet alone

Loving a stranger I had been
Marked in permanence was
Not a phrase but her name
Penetrating deep into my skin of life
It's not a scar,it's never a scar
It's the ink holding meaning
They say it lasts forever
But it's only until I reach the grave
On my arm was Valentina ,carved
A result of countless pricking needles
I didn't see the inked name, I saw her
Whatever on my heart was  
Was beyond anything she could ever see
She should've known the feeling , but
Loving a stranger I had been