do you have moments, where you can’t imagine a future?
you’re lying there, staring at the
same walls
same ceilings
same words
with nothing but the same feelings-
empty and pale,
like there’s no reason to go on,
when you can’t even do enough to fail.
the future is coming, but you don’t want to be in it,
can’t imagine yourself in it.
where you just want to stop.
everything.
and just sit there for a while.
maybe not death, as that’s too permanent,
but something close to it.
when you can feel the rope around your neck,
the razor on your wrist,
the way the pills taste.
you can imagine it, and you aren’t sure if it’s what you want,
or just the feelings you imagine it will give you

I love you &
I'm paranoid.
Missing you;
It's a disease.
I'm scared...
Of who I am?
Of who you think I am?
I love you,
And I don't know...
If it is e n o u g h

Naiveness does not plague me.*

You are nothing more
than one too many drinks,

nothing more
than sweat-stained sheets.

I can feel myself slowly slipping through the cracks, fading further and further into the distance, soon to become nothing more than a ghost, fabricated by their nostalgia.

What to do with this strange mind,
It does not relax it does not unwind,
It is not content until it is fed,
It's craving gets vicious when put to bed.