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Alicia Jan 2015
I don't know what you'd consider lonely.

But for me,
Lonely was sitting in the bathroom toilets, by myself at school.
Lonely was when I sat alone on a full school bus, even though there was an empty seat beside me.
Lonely was sitting alone in my room, staring into space, not caring whether the stars took me away.

But it got better,
I found people who searched for me in the school toilets,
Who sat next to me on an empty bus,
When I never sat alone, hoping the stars would take me, as they'd be there on the other end of the line,
waiting there for me, to tell me it was all okay.

Everything gets better,
and I've never, ever looked back.

Alicia Jan 2015
Why do I feel so trapped,
when I'm so free?

Free to do what I choose with my life,
But trapped, chained to the expectations of society.

Alicia Jan 2015
Why do you wait?
And what are you waiting for?

Life isn't handed to us on a silver platter,
we work and work so tirelessly if we truly want something.

So stop waiting for a golden chance,
Do whatever you can now.
Not tomorrow, or the day after.
Stop waiting.

Alicia Jan 2015
I'll admit,
I'm scared.

I'm scared that no matter how many sunsets behold me,
No matter how many sunrises greet me,
Or how many people fall to their feet for me.

How many chances stand before me,
or how many lovers leave me.

I'll still be in the same place I am now.

Alicia Jan 2015
Don't your words
Leave a stagnant taste of pity,
lingering on your tongue?

Don't your actions,
exceed your shallow words?

When was the last time,
you actually kept your thoughts to yourself?

To me,
you seem to be the type of person
who hisses and scowls at a sunrise,
only because it's too beautiful.

Alicia Jan 2015
You, who remain forever eternal in my heart.
You, who never turned away.
You, who was there for me when I needed someone the most.
Only you could ever fit the missing jigsaw puzzle to my sorrows,
and magically fix them.

But now you're gone,
and there isn't a day goes by where I don't think of you.
Not a day where I don't think of you and feel all my entrapped emotions escape from within.

When you're so high, way up in the clouds,
I can't talk to you.
I miss you.

Alicia Jan 2015
It doesn't make sense.
I can't make sense of it all.

When I looked at you, I used to see everything,
as if the world lived in your piercing blue eyes.

Now, all I see is how many daunting seasons have passed,
countless beyond compare to the amount that have in reality.

I can't explain it,
I can't explain how it makes me feel.

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