I raise up my hands to heaven
and say to God,
"Pick me up
Embrace me
Love me"
But then I shrink back
and I insist
that God must be hurt
by my exposed, broken shards

"I am not whole,
and not huggable
My pain is like thorns
that cut and inflict"
And so I look away with remorse

But God answers me
as only He can do, saying,
"Then we have a lot in common
Or did you forget the cross?
My Son on it?
Jesus, who was the most
broken of all"

I agree that I do...
I must!
But still...

"A nail in a hand
A wreath of thorns for a crown
He died quite damaged
for those like you
Yet was I not there to embrace Him
and welcome Him home?"

In spite of my tears, I reason
My mind and heart agree
So my Father and I embrace
and I accepted God's grace

After all

Last night I heard the ocean
Serenade the moon
A song sung on lips of salty waves
Accompanied by the breath of
Soprano winds
A song of cerulean nights
And silver clouds
That crescendos with every
Crash of endless tides
And sounds like the cleansing
Of the Earth

Forgive me father,
for I am Sin
and I am here
to take you in.

Its been thirty years
since my last confession,
but mere moments
since your last transgression.

and though you thought
all had gone unseen,
your hands and soul  
remain unclean.

You took
our Father's Sacred Trust,
and through it proclaimed
yourself as just.

And, while children,
yes, they will believe,
the eyes of mine
you can't deceive!

I know what you did
and you know to who,
and I'll not let you
draw the curtain through.

Your crimes,
these I will expose;
For my friend,
the victim no one knows.

No one knows him,
because he's dead.
because of you.
Because he bled.

You see,
he thought he
was just a boy.
Not some secret to destroy.

So,
it didn't make sense to him to live,
because of what you said
and what you did.

But, don't you ever believe
that Our Lord allows
men like you to break these vows,
and then disclaim
and then rebuke
a boy who dared to speak the truth.

You watched as a child sank and died
and to the Courts, how loudly you denied.

But,
don't believe that I am ever fooled,
and my vengeance will not be overruled.

For I am Sin,
and I don't care how much you cry.
**My Hell awaits the day you die.

If heaven wasn't so far away
    If I could drive there in just one day
      I'd pack my car and get there fast
         Or fly there with a rocket blast

      Thank my God for hearing this plea
     And for letting your eternal soul go free

              I'd fight a thousand armies
                to a win a raging war
       Or paddle against the currents
                     with just a canoe
                   if I only had one oar
  
             Defending all your beauty
           and the light you gave us here
                 I am not too far,
              my heart is always near

          I'd walk a thousand miles
               just in my barest feet
Or hire a passing, ghostly shipping fleet
   and watch the troops of demons to their  
            grievous quick retreat

    I would walk through the hottest fires
           of a crazy burning hell
    Or surf the oceans fastest, highest
                  waiter, water swell

         I'd slingshot through the stars
             Or float up  on a bardge
           Just  ask the Man in Charge

                  I'm' waiting for the call
                  to bring you home again
                  I'm waiting here for you
                   back here ...
                    back in
                   your earthly Glen.

Cherie Nolan © June 2016

I see others friendly, looking well
I'm in Hell, I think

What a sad feeling to stumble into all the old familiar footfalls

The suffering still fresh
And there
I feel the omnipresence
of the bleak shadow of the
world upon me
in malignant faces
at the grocery store
check-out
they operate in slow, sedated
methodologies of madness
I am sprung up from the
cool tile floor
like a misplaced statue bound
in frozen forms of observation

I park in a thrift store parking lot and cry
for you and for myself
mostly for myself

Time's ashes are diffuse and ever-present
living history in the living now
a ******* of the sacred cow is laughing
on coasts of crooked filth
and candy wrapper oases where
dead bird bones mingle in the
putrid ferns

No time to be found relaxed
no patience to be born to anything
but
slow agony of empty wishes called back
reflections, false assumptions
selfishness and neglect

Thank god for this momentary reprieve
from pointless self-analysis in the
broken mirror halls of control

no no no
thank you

I feel saddle-bagged
lost with worry
in some constant vague arrest
plucking at the chicken's feet

the fear itself unreal
broken, beaten, gone
phantoms of this self
all the world is polished chrome
and I am but an image
looking back

amazing how at time minutes
stretch off to infinity showers
& I **** the thicket therein
gone is now but
never ending
shalom
shalom
again

I'm sheltered in the maggot crop

“Doubt thou the stars are fire,
  Doubt that the sun doth move,
  Doubt truth to be a liar,
  But never doubt I love,"
He wrote.

"Never doubt," she whispered
As her foot hovered over the fallen tree.
Tentative and cautious she treads,
As if to make up for her blind trust
She had in his words.
"Never doubt."

Words, words, words, words.

"Never doubt," she choked
While her eyes hungrily stared at the water below.
To die, to sleep.
To drown, to float.
"Never doubt."

"I love I love I love I love," she sings
Sobbing.

She is here.
She is standing on the fallen tree over the water,
Flowers in hand,
Melodies in mind,
Her choice in her throat.

"Not to be."

She is there.
Her self
Fell in the weeping brooke,
      her cloathes spread wide,
And Mermaid-like, a while they bore her up,
Which time she chaunted
snatches of old tunes,
As one incapable of her own distress,
Or like a creature Natiue, and indued
Unto that Element but long it could not be,
Till that her garments,
heavy with her drink,
Pulled the poor wretch from her melodious lay,
To muddy death.

Now tell me, my dear prince,
Would you call that "love?"

Be a Life changer, not a death maker, speak life into others.
Bring healing into others lives by speaking it into their lives.
For we were all put on this earth, by the Living God Jesus.
To speak life into other people lives here on the earth.
Because by speaking life, we are drawing them to be healed.
For we are called to Love others, not hate them here.
For being Christ like here we shall reveal him to others.
Which is our purpose here to love others into finding him.
Thus having another friend , when we all go to heaven in the end.