Part of me
is forever
going to want you.

Your smile,
Your touch,
Your smell,
will forever
stay with me.

Part of me
knows that
forever
is a long time.

But when
I start to
think of you,
It doesn't
seem long
enough.

h.d.

Your smile,
I love it.

Your eyes,
are perfect.

Your laugh,
is contagious.

Your nose,
is adorable.

Your advice,
is helpful.

Your kindness,
is encouraging.

Your love,
is addictive,
my drug,
my reason to be here

You are my prince,
and I love you.

h.d

Just let me ******* kiss you.
Please.
Just once.
Just so I can savour the taste of your lips, for one moment.
Just so I can feel what I've longed to feel from you.
For one moment.
So I can wrap my arms around your neck and run my fingers through your hair.
For maybe more than a moment.
But let me show you the way I want to love you.
Just for one moment.

I sit in my room,
Remembering all the good times.
The times when you held my hand.
The times when you hugged me out of nowhere.
The times when we listened to music together,
Or when we had deep talks at night.
The moments when you'd secure your arms around me and hold me tight.
Like I was the only thing you needed in that moment.
When you played with my fingers, gawking at how small they were, compared to yours.
When you would rub my thigh while we sat in comfortable silence.
When you would make me feel like I was the only thing that mattered.
When you would tell me to sing for you, because you liked the sound of my voice.
When you would calm me down while I was nervous.
When you kissed the top of my head to say goodbye.
When you told me I smelled good, and it made me feel so great, even though it was a mere compliment on my scent.
I think of all those times, and then I think of what you've said tonight.
I'm like a sister.
I'm a best friend.
I'm cute, and I'm sweet but you just don't feel the same way.
"Please don't be hurt"
How could I not be?
How could I be okay?
After all that I've felt, in such a short time.
It's just.. Done..
It's just over.
I'm happy to have you as a friend, rather than nothing at all.
But I want to kiss you.
So badly, that you don't even know.

I'm just writing to write.
In the mood to write.
Words keep coming into my head but I make no sense of them.
Sentences pop into my mind but they mean nothing.
They're just words.
Why does it matter how many I say?
Why does it matter how many I don't say?
I don't want to be loud anymore.
I don't want to be giggle-y.
I don't want to always have a smile on my face.
I don't want to pretend that everything is okay.
I don't want to put on a fake happy persona.
I want people to see me as a real person.
Not a person with a childlike laugh.
Not an insanely happy or peppy person.
I just want to be seen as me.
A girl who has real emotions.
A girl who CAN handle it when you tell her things.
I'm not immature.
I'm not under-developed.
I'm not a genius.
I'm not simpleminded.
I'm just in-the-middle.
I'm in between, like every one of you.
I know, I'm rambling.
But is that okay?
There are so many words bottled up in me and some of them are so irrelevant.
But I want to say them.
I want to express myself but I can't.
I want to be me but if I am me, no one will understand.
"Why aren't you happy like your usual self?"
"Why aren't you giggling when I light-heartedly mock your laugh?"
"Why aren't you smiling?"
But then.. Maybe there will be that one person who realizes that..
I'm not always how I portray myself to be.
I'm just a confused little girl.

Why can't anything work out?
How come, feelings can't ever be reciprocated?
Why did I even try?
I knew someone like you wouldn't ever want someone like me.
I knew you would end up saying no.
Because who does?
Who wants the girl who sits alone at night writing stories and poetry and songs?
Who wants the girl that just wants to make someone happy?
Who wants the girl who wants to love them, and nurture them, and make them feel on top of the world?
Who wants the girl who has trust issues?
Who wants the girl with the problems?
Who wants the girl who's sensitive and dramatic?
Who wants the girl who cries at comedy movies and eats spoonfuls of nutella?
Who wants the girl that plays with make up when she's bored?
Oh right. No one.
Who wants me?
No one.
Why can't everyone have happiness?
Why did the happiness I had have to be limited?
Why did you have to say no?
Why does everyone hurt me?
Even if its unintentional.
Who wants that girl who's hurt?
Right. Not you.

You never really know how being completely unloved feels,
Until you go to someone crying,
And they don't even reply.