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My hands are perpetually cold,

and I don't know if that's because

of this weather

or because they

never get held anymore.
I smile
I hide
I cry deep inside
no one can hear
the pain I feel
soft to the touch
pale complexion
red hair, long and wavy
small pink lips, grin mischievous
fire in your eyes
passion in your soul
lust in your veins
      I long to be the item of your desire,
to have you wrapped around my finger tips. of all things to transpire, his heart is yours and your heart is his.
The moon shines a cool blue tonight
as we entwine our fingers, laying on the baseball field
beneath diamond heavens. We lie
in silence, in the moments when the Universe reveals
itself, and contemplate the distances between one celestial body to
another, the space between
us growing as I turn south
to find Orion while you seek Cassiopeia in the north.

Shooting stars cross the sky, and we wish separately on dead
stars and dead dreams, lights already grown red and extinguished
as we whisper in the dark, passing
between phases.

And in the end we're all left searching.
And I had to walk away
I was just hoping at least he noticed I didn't run
the title is a thought for after the poem
Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **
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