I slip softly into my cave
as I gently vanish disappear

To my inside place
I explore like
outer space

Where I begin to light
the dark with a
fragile flickering candle

It is not long
before it all
becomes so very warm

As I rest in the
armchair of my heart
I start to hear
snap crackle and pop  

As I switch of the mind
releasing all that is tight
I enter the permanent night

But discover all turns to light
as the dark becomes a
permanent day

And as I tunnel into
my great mountain
a cave a distant quiet
world.

I start to feel the worlds
rains cannot touch me
and feel gold all around me.

With the world so far away
a glowing lamp rising
within me like flowers
bursts scents are spilling.  

And a hummingbird is
felt buzzing all around me
softly searching for
his sweet nectar.

How I love to return
to my sweet cave.

Please do not cover this day
With a flowery petty coat
Paint brush or brush stroke
Or blow it full of
Silver lining, star dust
Because tragedy is real

Do not diminish our suffering
Or belittle all our pain
By telling us there is meaning
Because I am telling you
God was not on that mountain
peaceful hilltop farmer left anguished
And landscape is vanguished
Family under rubble
Tragedy is real

So tell me then when your
Oppressive boss dragged you
Stole your pride dignity
Shagged your wife destroyed you
And rocks fell on my child
That the lord
Looks after you
Because tragedy is real

Spend a day lifting rocks
dead bodies needless pain
People screaming children wailing
Then tell me there is meaning
That God has a plan
I say he has none
Because tragedy is real

To make sense
Is absolute nonsense
Only callous and cold
And I would not
Be so bold
To insult with any meaning
For unlike a wife
This wound is not leaving
Or ever healing
And can only be left
Raw, ****** and open

As a silly  spoilt child
Disgruntled I grumble
Throughout my blessed life
Complaining about my loss
That God does not give a toss

But abundantly  in my life
Scattered in my garden
Live deep hidden forests
Sacred special spaces
Forgotten mossy places
Things I can not see  

In my soft mossy pastures
I am drawn into sound
Soft rich earthy ground
My meddling hands resigning
And my heart softening
To the treasures God is bringing

As a child I am sometimes
still screaming for what
I am not receiving  
Even though chosen
But my loving Father
Always refusing to
serve me poison

But he keeps on giving
Life's unexpected gifts
Full of presents and parcels
An unknown cultivated Karma
A forgotten ignored pleasure
Actually look at all the treasure
Everyday a Christmas tree
If I could only look and see

So in my adult days
I learn to look on
In different ways
With a mossy heart
I nourished and softening
receiving parcels tenderly
passed down from heaven

I live so shyly it could be
taken as an apology but
it is only simply that
I seek to walk gently
As I live where thick
forest grow deep within
a hidden society places
you will never know.
I am a gentle giant the
King of the jungle a great
power house, walking  
softly and slowly.
As you look into my eyes
rivers and waves will
channel and flow
between us.  

I sit so still in the jungle
resting so deeply the world
is centered around me.
No human, monster or
giant cat could ever disturb
me my heart strong and enormous.
I am a fortress great castle made
of stone as many softly creep
past me.
I bear my chest a treasure chest
a temple for my heart.
As I open my inflated chest
puffing out my heart I breath
my love into this world.
Always holding a perfect space
for my a green house for
my family to grow.

I have the wisdom of many elders,  
the strength strong men and the
touch of a gentle baby child.  
Covered in warm soft fur we
hold each other within the
lightest kindest touch.
We know a gentleness can
only be built on enormous
power and strength.
As I am born to hold cherish
and protect as you will see
in my eyes I cradle my
family within my heart.
As an amplified love burst
through my chest I feel every
follicle of hair search to
express.

Although never anger me
never threaten my family
as I will drown you out
like thunder.
I will be all the storm clouds
of your life turning your day
into night as I shatter your
world with rain.
I will grow like KING KONG
curse and dominate your day,
you will wish you never
crossed me.
I am the beating heart of my
family as they all beat inside
of me so maybe no giant is
ever bigger than me.

Don't throw your lies at me
as they will bounce of my
silver chest as I do know my way.
I can be your worst nightmare      
the softest mother and the
gentlest grand father.
And all the love in my chest
passes through my skin as
though it was paper thin.
I feel the jungle grow all
around me as I pour my
love into my family.

Give it to me, for all the world
all I want is to love my baby
and I will be so happy.
Living within a pool of amplified
love that turns brighter jungle a
electric field green.
As I really love my family
be careful with their sensitivity
as all their love sponsors me.
But be gentle and I will love
you like my family
as I am the
GREAT GORILLA

Why do we not scrap
this barbaric idea
that keeps us all in fear
The price so very dear
Is it not so very clear
We must reject this
stupid idea  

Sorry it escapes me
but how does having
Nuclear weapons make
the world a safer place
Does that mean if we all
have them the world would
be a completely safe space  

Why does our search for
peace always involve
humiliating an enemy
Destroying their dignity
alienating them completely
Can we not learn a more
compassionate intelligent
social ingenuity

If you could smell evil
we would surely pong
As we breath dreaded a
threat of global destruction
Spreading our fears
like raindrops many tears
As we arrogantly court with
pain and extermination  

Let us learn that peace
is not something you
****** on an enemy.
But can only be built
on many small
steps of trust
And by dropping our
power greed blood lust  

100 Hiroshima's sleep
within a Nuclear sub
To awake a single one
would be a calamity
So lets protect all of humanity
And regain back our sanity
By rejecting this path of vanity  

Every new journey towards
hope starts with one little
brave step in trust.
So let us take that step now and
support nuclear disarmament.

Please try to hear
Can I make it
Anymore clear
I need a little time
To be a human

As I am whispering from
behind closed curtains
And screaming from
very high roof tops
How I really feel

As I do not even know
who can not really deal
As you vanish disappear
Into distant space and time
proclaiming we are God

But are we all just lost
In a new age self empowered
Individualistic self obsession
Revolution so called evolution
Where no one is just aloud
To be a simple human
As we can only be a great
Almighty God

For dare I say
That I can not do
That this is
a
little to hard
And admit my own
boundary limitation  
And I can not do

Please don't  call me God
It just feels like a rod
I want to be just free
even still like a tree
Maybe not extraordinary
maybe just ordinary

Please don't promise
me a spectacular future
Pretending to be
my fortune teller

Just tell me that you can see me
, can cherish and sincerely hear me
Hold my hand and just be
HERE WITH ME
what ever the future does hold

Towers tumble, egos fall
My house, is on fire
But I will not get there
Chest squeezing in despair  

My heart is breaking
The ropes are slipping
And life is disappearing
Just keeps on racing

Been such a fool
Always born a tool
Paddled and paddled but
Yet so wasteful, in my toil
  I had to spoil

Just missed the bus
There goes my train
The enemy scores again
Though my legs how insane  

Keep on falling
My heart is calling
A tumble ****
Just keeps on rolling

Spent so long
Looking for answers
In places that had none  
The harder I try
The more I cry

As I am suddenly awoken
surrounded by costume
An actors changing room
Never learnt my words

But there is a
Blissful realization
When you see your
Life just slipping
Out of site, far away
Down the drain

As abandoned waters are lifted
A myriad of moonlight sparkles
Scattered sent shimmering
Cascading across my waters
I feel no need in responding  

When I am humbled
powerless out of control
My life vanishing  
A black hole
A dark void

I have to ask did I loose
my life or did I just
Serendipitously
just FIND IT