Voices in my head constantly tell me I'm not enough, gorgeous enough, thin enough.
They tell me I should change who I am because I won't be loved looking rough.
They tell me I should have a smaller nose, smaller thighs, smaller everything.
They say "you're prettiest friends are your thinner ones. If you wanna be like them then stop eating every single little thing."
I'm disgusting, they say. I'm unworthy of love and I'll never find it.
"GET YOURSELF THIN." they scream. "AND YOU'LL FIND TRUE LOVE IN A BIT."
The voices are cruel. They never let up. They tell me "All of your thin friends get the guys attention, you don't because you're ugly and fat."
"They never give you a second thought because you're too big." They spat.
I know I'm ugly and fat. I'm not thin. My mind is a toxic place so I'm giving up and giving in.

Death is what I crave from time to time, when I see the fat on my body.
I look and think the amount is ungodly.
I want to be thinner so I skip all my dinners ‘til I become lightheaded and weak, but if you ask me I won’t say,  because I thinner body I seek.

She lays awake at night thinking of every things she's done.
To her body, to her mind things that have affected her loved ones.
She honestly tries to stop with the cutting herself and trying to die.
But it's hard since her heart just doesn't want to live. So in her bed she cries.

It hard to keep going every once and while
To fight through your tears and force your smile.
It's hard to feel emotions when you're so empty inside.
You want to fill that void, but you feel you have died.

I look at myself and don't like what I see. My disgusting body stares back at me.
I try different things to make me a little thinner. Like purging myself or skipping my dinner.
The voice inside my head tells me I'll never be beautiful unless I'm thin,
so I start counting calories until I feel attractive in my own skin.
Every food I eat is no longer tasteful. It's just more calories entering my body and makes me feel shameful.
I hope to someday to be the thin girl hiding underneath my fat. The girl that can touch her stomach and it would be flat.

Every word we say leaves an imprint on the soul.
The things we say can make a person feel whole.
It can make them despair and make them feel upset.
It can make them feel emotions they haven't felt yet.
Words can make someone fall in love, it can make their heart beat faster.
It can take their breath away, it can cause a disaster.
It can leave you wondering what they meant.
Or maybe leave you happily content.
It can help or hurt someone please be careful what you say.
Check your mind before you speak, check it all the way.

It's funny how your demons can **** you slowly inside.
You look for a light that shines bright enough to guide.
But you're lost in the cold darkness and can't find the candle.
Looking and looking your heart beats fast, It's too much for you to handle.
You start to get weary when in the darkness, you see a small fire.
Walking toward it you feel lighter inside and you feel it's warmth which you desired.
The fire spreads through out the room and see things you didn't see before.
Like trees and birds singing and blue sky which you adore.
You're seeing things you haven't in a while.
Because of your pain and life's trials.
No darkness is anywhere to be seen.
You feel your demons leave you, and you feel your soul is clean.