The descent into madness is all i’ll ever know.
The voices in my head will never let go
I stare absently at the wall
While I hear them and their call
They won’t let me ignore them, believe me I’ve tried.
They tell me they’re really angels, I get caught in their lie.
Reality checks in and I realize I have been fooled again.
I feel like once again I'm in the lions den.
They’re really devils whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
Sadly there’s nothing I can do about it. I wish I could just disappear.
I succumb to their voices and I talk with them, for if I don't they don’t quit.
It's a terrible thing to go through. I must admit.
The only way to silence them is if I'm sleeping.
For the moment I wake up I feel them creeping.
Speaking to me as soon as I open my eyes.
I really wish to them,  I could say goodbye.
If there were a cure I'd want it badly.
But alas! There’s not. Only more voices I reflect sadly.

I wanted to say thank you for all you've done.
you have been an inspiration to everyone.
I cannot to tell you the times, I stared in awe in all that you do.
With each page you wrote another heart you grew.
You've taught people important lessons over the years.
Lessons that people will hold dear.
You mean a lot to the world, and people who are suffering.
Because of you books, and they light they show, they are recovering.
I hope you know how important you are.
To the people around you and the ones afar.
You mean a lot to me, because of your light.
The way you held your head up high and kept up the fight.
You will never be the one to back down and that I admire.
For years to come you will continue to inspire.
So once again I say thank you for all that you've done.
For everything you've taught us, and the light you show, just like the sun.

The morning is so beautiful it’s like a sigh of relief.
The morning air is like medicine that is my belief
I say this because everything is calm and the sky is so pretty.
With reds and pinks and the orange sun, to miss it, would be a pity.
I love to hear the birds sing their beautiful songs like nature's melody.
To hear it, it’s like a soul restoring remedy.
So enjoy the beautiful morning while it lasts.
Because before you know it the morning will pass.

Always keep fighting is what you say
You help me realize it's going to be okay.
You have a way with words, how could I ever repay?
I love you dearly, it's as clear as day,
You help me wipe my tears away.
Thank you for lighting up my world, which is no longer grey.
I want you to know that you're in my heart, and in my heart you'll stay.

Take your hand in mine
As I lead you through time
I hoped you’d be here for this
This is not something you’re  gonna wanna miss
Let’s reminisce about how we first met
We were at the coffee shop you hadn’t ordered yet
You looked at me with those beautiful green eyes.
I swear my heart melted on sight.
You asked me for my name. I swear you felt it too.
That we would be together, our singleness was through.
We talked, we had a lot in common.
I knew it was a good omen.
Then I got brave and asked you out for a date.
And the rest is history… My life with you is great.

The world today is as it's always been, filled with greed, death and war.
I sadly reflect that it get's worse and worse and through my heart it tore.
Soon everything must come to an end and so must the pain, blood, and gore.
I hope someday Christ will come and take away the pain the earth cannot stand anymore.
People are greedy and vile and I weep when I see them befoul the earth, stop it! I implore.
Alas! With a heavy heart I realize they will not, but ignore.

Why am I such a sad little soul?
What can I do to make me feel whole?
The deep chasm in my chest is wide and dark,
This is where demons come to leave their mark.
Sick and tired of all the pain,
I pray for comfort for I know Jesus reigns.
Jesus pats my weary shoulder and whispers in my ear,
"It's okay,  My darling, I'll make the demon's mark disappear."
Then my whole body is filled with his light,
The demons shriek at the sight.
One by one they vanish and my body is clean.
I'm amazed at the sight, the evil is nowhere to be seen.

Feeling the fat upon myself, is a pain I'd always known
I look in the mirror and wish I could see my collarbones.
I want to be that girl who's thin and beautiful.
But instead I'm the one with big thighs and that's inexcusable.
I hope one day to be the skinny girl I know that's inside me.
The girl with her collarbones, everyone can see.

A smile can hide a thousand tears
It can hide all your pain throughout the years.
It can keep dark secrets down in the dark
It can help two people make a spark
It can make your heart hurt and sting
It can make your broken soul sing
It can make you feel whole again
It can make you feel like you did back then.
What people hide behind their smile you'll never know.
For they won't let their true feelings show.

Voices in my head constantly tell me I'm not enough, gorgeous enough, thin enough.
They tell me I should change who I am because I won't be loved looking rough.
They tell me I should have a smaller nose, smaller thighs, smaller everything.
They say "you're prettiest friends are your thinner ones. If you wanna be like them then stop eating every single little thing."
I'm disgusting, they say. I'm unworthy of love and I'll never find it.
"GET YOURSELF THIN." they scream. "AND YOU'LL FIND TRUE LOVE IN A BIT."
The voices are cruel. They never let up. They tell me "All of your thin friends get the guys attention, you don't because you're ugly and fat."
"They never give you a second thought because you're too big." They spat.
I know I'm ugly and fat. I'm not thin. My mind is a toxic place so I'm giving up and giving in.

Every word we say leaves an imprint on the soul.
The things we say can make a person feel whole.
It can make them despair and make them feel upset.
It can make them feel emotions they haven't felt yet.
Words can make someone fall in love, it can make their heart beat faster.
It can take their breath away, it can cause a disaster.
It can leave you wondering what they meant.
Or maybe leave you happily content.
It can help or hurt someone please be careful what you say.
Check your mind before you speak, check it all the way.

Put down that pill bottle,
put down that knife,
It may take awhile,
But you'll win this fight,
It may be long but you'll be alright,
The road is hard, but at the end, there's always a light for you to see,
A light to guide you where you need to be,

My tired eyes wander down the dark and lonely path.
I close my eyes and pray I haven't caused God's wrath.
I try to make out the twisting and writhing figures I see as I walk past.
They're my inner demons torturing me and they tell me I won't last.
I plea for the angels to help me and wrap me in their wings.
I yearn to see them at work so I can see what goodness brings.
I need a light to shine in the darkness in this forest of this hate.
I hope one day the angels come before the demons decide my fate.

I love him, but he'll never love me.
I somehow hope maybe we're meant to be.
But deep down I know we'll never be together.
The pain in my chest seems to last forever.
I want to stop loving him but don't know how,
I keep trying, but I will stop I vow.

She was so happy once upon a time,
She had no sadness or anger inside her
But then something called life came walking along. She grew up noticed how the blue skies turned grey and birds sang in deep sorrowful tunes. She noticed how every leaf and every tree were dead. This girl was so happy once upon a time...
Now all she can see is the world drowning in despair.

He cries in the night tears of pain
His heart filled with so much grief, he fears he might go insane.
He tries to see a way he can keep going on, but he tries in vain.
"Help me. I'm hurting." He desperately tries to explain.
But nobody hears him as he sobs in the rain.
Now he lays there, cold as ice, with his own hands slain.

Stay strong my darling, you'll be okay,
Stay strong my darling, there's always a way,
Stay strong my darling, all the tears will fade
Stay strong my darling, and let the light leave you unafraid.

I fake a smile when people ask if am okay,
so I keep smiling to keep the darkness at bay.
I cry in despair, when I see happiness from a distance,
For I cannot get to it, with the darkness' resistance.
So I smile on and hope one day I can be happy.
An emotion everyone has, and I'll take gladly.

Sometimes the world can get so rough.
I have to ask myself, am I enough?
I want to believe I am okay.
I need someone to light the path, and show me the way.
Am I enough? The ultimate question.
I want to say I am, but I'm unsure because of my depression
It makes me hate myself, telling me I'll never be anything.
But I pray that It's wrong, and I'll amount to something.

What's on your mind now and days? we seem to have disconnected.
I miss the days we talked but then you left and I was affected.
You don't understand how much you mean to me and it breaks my heart,
That you seem to have moved on and now have a brand new start.
So I suppose this is goodbye, I wish you the best.
I hope life is good to you, and leaves you well blessed.

You don't understand what it's like to be me; to have all this darkness inside.
I try to mask my sadness, but it's just too hard to hide.
I wish I could smile and pretend I was alright.
To happily be free and walk into the light.
But instead I'm chained up in a terrible casket.
I don't know how I'll ever get out of it.
If only I could feel my happiness once more.
Instead I feel this void inside my chest, not the peace I had before.

I look at myself and don't like what I see. My disgusting body stares back at me.
I try different things to make me a little thinner. Like purging myself or skipping my dinner.
The voice inside my head tells me I'll never be beautiful unless I'm thin,
so I start counting calories until I feel attractive in my own skin.
Every food I eat is no longer tasteful. It's just more calories entering my body and makes me feel shameful.
I hope to someday to be the thin girl hiding underneath my fat. The girl that can touch her stomach and it would be flat.

Tony you gave me hope when there was none.
I hope you know I love you a ton.
You’ve made you mark here in my heart.
With your iron suit that made your start.
You mean so much to me words can’t even say.
I really miss you everyday.
I miss your sarcastic remarks and the way you do what’s right.
I miss the way you protected those you loved with a fight.
I know your legacy will live on in the hearts of others.
You showed how good you are with your red and gold colors.
My heart still breaks when I think of how you’re gone.
But I’ll love you forever, in my heart you’ll live on.

It's funny how your demons can **** you slowly inside.
You look for a light that shines bright enough to guide.
But you're lost in the cold darkness and can't find the candle.
Looking and looking your heart beats fast, It's too much for you to handle.
You start to get weary when in the darkness, you see a small fire.
Walking toward it you feel lighter inside and you feel it's warmth which you desired.
The fire spreads through out the room and see things you didn't see before.
Like trees and birds singing and blue sky which you adore.
You're seeing things you haven't in a while.
Because of your pain and life's trials.
No darkness is anywhere to be seen.
You feel your demons leave you, and you feel your soul is clean.

Faster and faster tears roll down my face, I inhale a sob at a steady pace.
My mental struggle is too much to bear, I'm falling apart without you here.
I miss the little girl I used to be, when I would see you smiling at me.
Mother, it's been ten years since you've passed, I don't know how the time went by so fast.
I smile sadly as I remember, I've grown older, and my childhood is now over.
I will remember the good times we had, and hope, that you're a peace at last.

The pain of being ignored is too much to bear
I try to talk but no one wants to hear.
I hope one day someone will listen to me.
It's painful not being heard please see me I plea.
But alas! No one will.
So I have to endure the loneliness until my heart beats still.

You're a fighter my darling, you've been through so much.
More than once you have escaped the devil's clutch.
Remember my darling when your sad and blue, even the worm turned into the butterfly and from the ground it flew.
Be aware my darling of how much you can do with simply your words as they can heal too.
You're amazing my darling, life can be tough. Just remember with that pretty mind of yours, you are enough.

I pray about you if you're going to be mine,
I wait on the answer from the divine.
I hope that someday we meet.
So I can see your face so sweet.
If only I could have the answer now.
Then I could love you, as much as my heart allows.

Hello is word we use to greet each other. The first word to come from our lips.
Goodbye is a word that saddens me because through my heart it rips.
It's a word that I struggle with because I want you by my side.
I don't want you to go and leave my arms hanging wide.
I'm very sentimental when it comes to these things.
I'll remember you always even when death comes to ring.
Remember, when  you say goodbye for the final time.
You're always welcome to come back, it is not a crime.

Why my darling are you so blue?
Was it that boy who said he didn't love you?
Remember my darling that he's only a boy.
There's many more out there, who would love to see your joy.
You have to find the right one and when you do.
You'll be glad you went with someone new.
Someone besides this monster who broke your heart.
Someone who will give you a brand new start.

Do you ever wonder what makes the clouds red at the end of the day?
what makes them so beautiful your eyes can't look away?
Perhaps it's the beauty of the sky the vast changing of colors in the evening.
When the stars start to appear and the sun starts leaving.
That's when the world starts to go to sleep.
When everyone starts dreaming deep.
Do you ever wonder what they dream about?
As their eyes start to droop and they lay there worn out?
Maybe it's dreams that don't make sense,
Or it might be dreams of monsters that are intense.
Yes, dreams can be enticing,
But by morning the beauteous sunrise they are sacrificing.
The yellow and orange clouds in the amazing sky.
While the sun comes up, in their beds they lie.
Do you ever wonder how someone could miss something so beautiful.
Or ignore the birds while they sing like natures musical?

Death is what I crave from time to time, when I see the fat on my body.
I look and think the amount is ungodly.
I want to be thinner so I skip all my dinners ‘til I become lightheaded and weak, but if you ask me I won’t say,  because I thinner body I seek.

Agents of Shield is the show that really has my whole heart
I'm gonna miss them so much, can you take me back to the start?
It was a beautiful journey I went on and now its at its end.
I can't even begin to thank you for my friends.
I've made so many from this show.
I loved to watch all of us grow.
I know we'll be sad once it's over.
But happy it brought all of us closer.
I love you so much I hope you know that.
I'm gonna miss seeing the love shown here in fact.
I could go on and on about the things you did for me.
about how you made my depression leave so I could be free.
It's the simple things like a smile from my favorite person.
It really lit up my day thats for certain.
so now I say goodbye to the show that holds a special place in my heart.
Knowing I'll never truly say goodbye.... if I go from the start.

I've never had a friend that treats me like you do.
In all honesty I'm glad I met you.
You'll be leaving soon and I wish you the best of luck
I know you'll make your way in this world and leave people awestruck.
You're my best friend and you've been there for me like no other.
You have proven that you are an amazing girl, there isn't another.
You have gifts of art I urge you to use them wisely.
You can help a person through a picture and make them feel lively.
Be careful here in the outside world.
it can be hard and feel like you're in a whirl.
I know you can do it, I believe in you.
You'll be like a bird, and it's time you flew.

Dean, You really saved the world one last time.
Now you're at peace and everything is fine.
I'm so upset that you're gone.
But I know in my heart you'll carry on.
My pain at losing you is too much to bear
I really wish that you were here.
You went heroically like I always knew you would.
Now your legacy will live on where you once stood.
I'm gonna miss you so much I can't help but cry.
I never thought you would die.
I wanted you to  live until you were eighty
Maybe even find a nice lady.
That was my happy ending for you but you were taken from us too soon.
I thought from death you were immune.
So now i'll listen to some classic rock tunes.
Just so I can feel close to you.
I'll miss you forever but I know that you're happy now.
In your own little heaven, We'll meet again. Somehow.

Steve your chapter is now over.  
You’ve had a wonderful life and you’ve had your  closure.
You fought nazis and you’ve fought aliens. You’ve fought Tony Stark too.
And I never thought I’d have to say goodbye to you.
You’re the most bravest and kindest and spirited of them all.
If you ever needed me I would have come to your call.
I know you had your happy ending. I’m happy and a little sad too.
That I’ll never see you again. But your time here is through.
I’ll miss your confidence that everything will turn out alright.
But most of all I’ll miss you and your light.

Ice cold hands grip me tight as they lead me toward the light.
I'm terrified for what comes next, the fear of the unknown after death is what I feel best.
I'm getting closer and closer toward the bright clouds.
I see angels singing and tress blowing in the breeze.
Jesus himself is nowhere to be seen, but soon he'll show and guide me home.
He'll look at me with a kindly smile and say, "Hey. It's been awhile."
I'll grab his hand and hold it tight as we walk together, through the mist of forever.

She lays awake at night thinking of every things she's done.
To her body, to her mind things that have affected her loved ones.
She honestly tries to stop with the cutting herself and trying to die.
But it's hard since her heart just doesn't want to live. So in her bed she cries.

Sam, I'm gonna miss you a ton I want you to know.
But now it's time to put a curtain on this show.
I love you so much I can't describe what you've done for me.
You helped me with my demons so I could be free.
You fought to save the world more than one time.
But now it's time for you to rest, we will be fine.
You're so brave and so kind I hope you know that's true.
I don't really want to say goodbye to you.
You mean the world to me I know I must move on.
But it's hard since you've been apart of my life for so long.
So one final goodbye to you is what I'll say
You'll be in my heart forever, for the rest of my days.

One day I know I'll meet you.
One day I'll know you'll be the one I look to.
One day I know I'll love you.
I don't know who you are,
But one day, when I look at you, I know I can stop searching far.

One, two, three, four, quietly shut the door,
Five, six, seven, eight, stop marking your body with hate,
Nine, ten eleven twelve, send your demons back to hell,
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, rejoice! You're skin is clean!
Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, go ahead and live life plenty.

Darling, the girl has been right here all along,
Can't you hear her sing her song?
The darkness has no where to hide, the light's too strong.
It retreats back into hell where it belongs,
The girl, is here happy and free, to say she's gone, and the darkness took her, you are wrong.
The laugh she gives, makes her stronger, listen again to her song,
Let your heart feel the words and the melody seep into your skin and once again feel the light she'll have lifelong.

The girl I used to be was happy and free
But the darkness came and took it away from me.
What happened to the girl that was once joyful and bright?
The one who used to hold so much light?

It hard to keep going every once and while
To fight through your tears and force your smile.
It's hard to feel emotions when you're so empty inside.
You want to fill that void, but you feel you have died.

‪People won’t love me unless I’m thin. ‬
‪They say “be happy in your own skin.” ‬
‪But how can I be happy when I’m so fat it’s a crime. ‬
‪I want to be less then a hundred pounds but I know that will take time. ‬
‪It will take time to be beautiful and thin. Then finally I’ll be comfortable in my own skin. ‬

To the girl who has cuts on her arms from self inflicted wounds.
To the girl who hears the birds song as deep sorrowful tunes
To the girl who starves herself to be a little bit thinner
To the girl who started writing so her head could be clearer.
To the girl who decided to never lose hope
To the girl who said “***** you” to her demons when it handed her the rope.
To the girl who broke out of her chains so she could be free
To the girl that won her battles, to the girl that is me.

My dear Jensen you’re so important to me
Ever since I saw you as the hunter that smiled with glee.
You came into my life at seventeen years old.
I knew on my heart you had a hold.
You make my days brighter and I love your smile.
I hope one day we may talk for awhile.
Talk about how much you mean to me words can't even say.
I really hope I get to meet you someday.
You really helped me with my depression
Because of you my days are brighter without question.
I really love you. I hope you know that’s true.
Every time I feel blue I just think of you.
How you would tell me It’s all gonna be okay.
You would tell me there’s always a way.
I admire you so much. The things you’ve done.
I know your soul shines brighter then the sun.
You’ll always be in my heart for the rest of my days.
Because of you I know I’m gonna be okay.

People want to think I’m alright I think they’re afraid
Afraid that I’m not alright they want me to take my sadness to the grave.
Why do people do that? Why do they see depression as a taboo?
It’s seen as a curse if it happens to you.
It makes people uncomfortable to say you have depression.
I want people to be kind to other people and ask those hard questions.
It’s hard enough having depression and feeling like you have no one to talk to.
Don’t make it worse and get angry it’s not their fault. What if it happened to you?
You wouldn’t like people yelling especially after you self harmed you’d feel bad enough.
So I implore you to be gentle with us. For us it’s been rough.

I never thought I’d live past 20 and let me tell you why.
I figured some day I’d **** myself so in my bed I’d cry.
So I never bothered to look toward the future what I wanted to be.
And now that’s coming back to haunt me.
Now I’m stuck and don’t know where I’m going.
The despair in my heart I feel, is growing.
Everyone, everywhere is going places all except me.
They’ll all be successful one day, I think we can agree.
The sadness in my heart about not going anywhere. I feel plenty.
Just because I’d thought I’d be dead by twenty.