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You don't hate yourself
because of the
shape of your nose,
angle of your eyes,
length of your arms,
or size of your waist.

Your self hatred
runs so much deeper
than those things.
And
Your self worth
runs even deeper.
Another slimy page absorbed by gentle, tender hands
Another reality channel infected by impossibilities
Another grainy film shaded by green to hide the truth

All eyes are glued to these perfections
Simple utopias I can never be

Her hair, his eyes, their laugh, that smile

How disheartening it is
for my friends to say one word
when the tags on my clothing say another

A dent here, a scar there, a bulge elsewhere
hips too wide, skin too rough, hair too straight, eyes too red,
toes too small, nose too big, scar too dark, skin too light
My entire being is stitched together faults

So my eyes burn as yours shine
I guess it is yet another imperfection

But then again, are the blemishes even mine?
How is it that a person may love another,
yet choose to live without them?
I don't want to be the one who snaps you into the world.
I don't want to be the one who says "look, honey, the universe *****".
I don't want to be the one who proves how horrible life is.
But I have already become that one.
I already am that person.
And I can't send you back to blissful innocence.
It's too late.

You claim to have already been hurt.
I mean of course, who isn't?
But you weren't broken,
only bent.
Any strained branch can be carefully reshaped
but once it has splintered, there is no return.

And I just wanted to heal something
because I had already torn so much.
I was told that he-
   Yes, but were you told by him?
I heard that she-
   Yes, but did you hear from her?
I know that you-
   Yes, but do you know me?

My stomach churns to sour froth
when people know because they hear.
If you allow distant whispers to define knowledge
then your truth is ridden and diseased.
Such wounds fester, rotting in the filth of lies.

Stop feeding these ****** vines.
They are barbed and poison and coiling.
Constrictors of death: and they will absolutely consume you
squeezing until your pathetic, bitter brains
ooze liquid from your shattered skull.

If you are not a part of something, leave it be.
I wouldn't miss it for the world,
But then you were taken from me,
You are the reason I won't give up.
Smile
you dance your hips and thighs romance
Silky words
grip my nerves
my words can hardly find me
My dear I'm here and your head lights are blinding
Caution taken
none forsaken
Thoughts were flowing
hearts were breaking
Spoke in pairs none prepared
lines of lies eyes would tear
Paper mache wants
and needs became secondary
Made the mistakes reminded every February
Never scary, never right
Never wrong to get it right
Reading words to find what's yours yeah
I know what that feelings like
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