We are all heard
eventually
Unfortunately
its usually too late

I like using glue when I am sad.
I like painting my arms with the white, sticky substance.
I like letting it dry.
I like seeing the white turn clear.
I like feeling how hard and sure my arms feel when they are coated in this shield.
I like touching how it wrinkles when I move my arms.
I like tugging it off like dead skin.
I like ripping off large pieces at a time.
I like collecting the scraps I pull off in a pile.
I like pretending that I'm peeling off every flaw of mine.
I like acting as if, when I'm done removing it, everything will be better.
I like noticing how difficult it is to grab onto the dried glue.
I like how it pains to remove it.
I like how red my arms are.
I like using glue when I am sad.
Because sometimes removing sadness does hurt.

My mind it’s cold, it’s dark, it’s black,
I have no where to run, to turn, to fall back.

I’m happy, I’m sad,
I’m angry I’m mad,
Does this make me weird, odd, even feared?

I scream for help but no one hears,
For them it’s easier to cover their ears.
But help me please, I need you now,
And all they ask is “but how”?

I’m entombed inside my own mind can’t you tell?
But I guess that’s not somewhere you’d care to dwell.

When you have b.p.d you can't really control your emotions.
Everything hits you like a wave.
And you can't take it all in because
It's exactly like being hit by a wave.
You panic, and try to grab hold of
The ground to keep you from going
Deeper but your grip loosen and the next thing you know you're neck deep.

letter to myself:
are you still what i want you to be?

sift through names like dirt for gold.
shift through gods like a true sinner.
there’s nothing left for us to believe in.

letter to myself:
are you everything i ever dreamed of?

thought process of a child in pain.
everything an attack.
no trust. no trust. all love and fear.

letter to myself:
are you dead yet? why not?

All I’ve ever wanted is to be loved the way I love everyone and everything around me,

And perhaps that is the most dangerous thing of all because to crave that affection with all your heart

Leads to reckless acts and treacherous situations to gain that attention and warmth that you’ve wanted all along.