The author took a break
To search for more ideas to take
But something came in an unexpected way
That changed the way he can relate

The author again, paused
Rereads again, the drafted poem
Did his break take very long?
For he can't seem to grasp the point

Was it him who wrote that?
He asked himself as he stress-fully sat
He confirmed it was indeed him but,
He fully understood, but now he can't

He thinks hard, really hard
On the wooden table in front
He hits his head with a bang
Then eureka! How can he forgot?

There it was on the tip of his tongue
It was hiding, but it was never gone
He stood up lazily upon a call from someone
Maybe the drafted poem should remain drafted for it to be done

You have to drag yourself
Just to keep the dosh coming
To keep kinfolk from starving
Despite all these heavy lifting

You enter that poisonous atelier
Inside a cubicle, sit on your chair
Play staring games with computer screen
Drink a juice of coffee bean

That place, a modern day slavery ring
Where your ego is bruised and badly beaten
They own you 'cause they give you payslips
But even with that you know it ain't worth it

But that place isn't at fault
It's those who own the vault
They keep to them what's inside
They won't share, they hide

Under a mask of kindness
They advertise false incentives
But they won't give what you deserve
'Cause it belongs in their pockets

They won't listen to your pleads
Neither tend to your needs
Silently blackmail you instead
And then there goes your thread

Your thread, closer to inch
Your patience about to ditch
You know you'll burst sooner or later
They'll regret it all, when with them, you're finally over

You still haunt my dreams
Turn it into nightmare
As if you still own it

Like the undead
You still walk my mind
In there, you should already be gone

I already killed you
I did right?
Or it wasn't bull's eye?

And so again I'll raise my ******
Ready to hit you in the head
This time, I won't miss

Let me be your darkness,
so you can shine your brightest.
Let me be your devil,
for your angels to ****.
Let me be your villain,
for you - the protagonist to reign.
Let me be your nightmare,
to hear your sigh of relief once awake.

Let me be the stain,
you cannot wash away.
Let me be your curse,
that you cannot run away from no matter what course.
Let me be the memories,
you want to erase.
Let me be your past,
that will continue to haunt you as time passes.
Let me be your sin,
that you desperately confess again and again.


Let me be these..
for me to be a part of your life, at least..
Oh let me be..
*So you can never be whole, without me.

I have to understand

She is a girl first
before she is a lover
She is a friend first
before she is a lover
She is part of a family first
before she is a lover
She is a girlfriend first
before she is my lover

And I always come second.

A mortal and a maiden
Loved each other
So much that they didn't thought back then
That they'll end

A god betrothed the maiden
Leaving the mortal broken
But after loving himself
He should fight, he realizes

But the only way to fight a god
Is for the mortal to become a Beelzebub
And because he knows their love is mutual
He became the devil; sacrificing it all

The mortal waged war with god
Fights with the maiden on his mind
Fights with all his might
Fights a losing fight

And as the god's final blow struck
As the mortal's body drops
His evilness slowly leaves out
Along with his life

The maiden runs up to him
As they heard the god laughing
"It wasn't a fight that he could've won.
But yours, the maiden's decision."

The mortal heard the maiden weeping
Reached for her hand, with all his strength left
"Even if it was just for the love exhaled from your exhausted breath,
fighting a losing fight was worth it."

You’re the reason of my existence, the one first love that makes me alive
The love that even so many years couldn’t erase
Come back and find the place that’s yours
By my side

You’re my own breath, my open wound
You know I still remain even in your heart, right?
Do not turn away from your own truth
Come to me

From the moment I saw you, everything was transformed
Just whispering your name and my world shakes
Our bond is beyond time, we’re destined to be together
Come back to me once again
Dance with me towards dawn

You’re the only one for me
The only light of my vain existence
Only you makes me complete, my love

From the moment I saw you, even breathing… I can’t even breathe
Just whispering your name and my world shakes

Our bond is beyond time, we’re destined to be together
Now come back to me
Let’s dance together towards dawn

I think you loved me

The first hug from behind
In the middle of the street

Our tears mixed
Upon our first antagonist

The "I love you" screams
During fireworks

The barefooted run
And exchange of shoes

Kisses and cuddles
And our little secrets

Breathtaking adventures
Touchdown places

Our very own runway
And gallery

Including bumps and dismays
The makeups that went with it

Those strict scoldings
For the betterment of my health

Our crazy antics
And bizarre trips

Intimate moments
Behind those every whispers

When you hold unto me
Like you won't let go, ever

But you did

Now that I think about it
I think you did

It's sad that I only think you did
'Cause I am very sure that I did

Tick tock tick tock
Our love, it's like a clock
With a battery about to wear
It causes paranoia I swear

Tick tock tick tock
Our love, it's like a bomb
Not knowing when it'll explode
We accepted it and explored

Tick tock tick tock
Like a medicine soon to expire
Taking it like my life, on it relies
Overdosed, like I wanna die

Tick tock tick tock
Like every New Year's countdown
But this has nothing to celebrate for
It's the time when our hearts will mourn

Tick tock tick tock
It is God's way to mock
I am just a human; He is God
I cannot do anything but to just absorb the shock

Have you ever wondered,
when can all people love you?


If I tell you, would you dare?
That's what death can bring you.

That creamy white coffee
isn't that yummy.
It's just that we free-tasted it together,
that's why it tasted better.

I love you so much
Said you love me as much
But on the way to earth's hell
Because we were persecuted
People said you were with me
But you firmly denied me

It all started with a handshake
Looking back it didn't really matter
One moment I wish to take
Vague to clear so that I can remember
Even words can't express
Just how a simple smile can change
One's life to know what happiness is
Y*et hearts can fully comprehend it's range

You make me strong and bold
Yet you leave me trembling in cold
You boost my confidence
Yet you are my greatest weakness

You bring out the best in me
Along with my worst for everyone to see
You lift me high up
And then to gravity I succumb

I don't know if you're a friend or a foe
But somehow you managed to be both
A friend to lean on
A foe to challenge upon

You're a blessing and a curse
Oh I'm so blessed to be yours
You cast to me a roller coaster of emotions to burst
And only you hold the spell to break this oath

But please, don't get me wrong
Because I really do love this confusion
Turn me off, turn me on
If it's you, keep it coming, I want more

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have cried over your farewell message
I wouldn't have thought of regret
I wouldn't have thought of the days without you as a waste

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have thought of giving you forgiveness
Or seeing you again face to face
Nor talking to you casually as if nothing happened

If I loved you a little less
It wouldn't have been painful seeing you talk to him
I wouldn't have smiled as if I felt nothing
I wouldn't have felt glee when you turn your phone's mode to airplane

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have felt anxious as the end gets nearer
I wouldn't have felt the urge to hug you closer
I wouldn't have asked that little favor

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have stared at your lips
And asked for that one final kiss
I wouldn't have felt my love was being reciprocated

If I loved you a little less
That night wouldn't be flashing back repeatedly
I would've slept well entirely
I wouldn't have wished you with me

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have chose you over her
Her, with the love, future and security that she offers
I wouldn't have the guts to hurt other people

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have stomached being a third party
I wouldn't have accepted you after what you've done to me
I would have cared what others think about me

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have agreed to this kind of setup
Like on a death row queue, I voluntarily line up
Except that this is a slow torturous death with a heads up

If I loved you a little less
I would've forced you my beliefs
I would've blackmailed you emotionally
And tied you up just to be with me

If only I have loved you a little less
Just a little less
But I only love you a little,
More and more each day

If only I have loved you a little less
But my love for you was beyond everything
Beyond time, pain, risks, judgment and common sense
Even beyond death, I think

If only I have loved myself a little less
I wouldn't have decided to fight a handicapped game
I wouldn't have swallowed all the hatred and curses thrown at my name
I wouldn't have been able to love you all the same

Curse my stubborn heart for not knowing how to love a little less
It only knows of love that is always at its peak
With only one choice between all or nothing
And it always chooses all, if it's you, right from the very beginning

To you who rekindled
The fire that was long extinguished
Who thawed the frozen heart
Until it was beating again
To have the numb emotions
Feel again
To you who dug the corpse
Of a dead poet out of the dirt

You didn't mean to
But thank you

For making me feel human again
For making me feel I can write again

I thank you