To you who rekindled
The fire that was long extinguished
Who thawed the frozen heart
Until it was beating again
To have the numb emotions
Feel again
To you who dug the corpse
Of a dead poet out of the dirt

You didn't mean to
But thank you

For making me feel human again
For making me feel I can write again

I thank you

Who would usher
the ushers?

Who would protect
the protectors?

Who would support
the supporters?

Who would sing
for the singers?

Who would give
for the givers?

Who would write
for the writers?

Hittin'* somehow became my hobby
It is fun; try and see

Hit! Hit! Hit!
Funny how it doesn't bleed
Been expecting for blood stains

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have cried over your farewell message
I wouldn't have thought of regret
I wouldn't have thought of the days without you as a waste

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have thought of giving you forgiveness
Or seeing you again face to face
Nor talking to you casually as if nothing happened

If I loved you a little less
It wouldn't have been painful seeing you talk to him
I wouldn't have smiled as if I felt nothing
I wouldn't have felt glee when you turn your phone's mode to airplane

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have felt anxious as the end gets nearer
I wouldn't have felt the urge to hug you closer
I wouldn't have asked that little favor

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have stared at your lips
And asked for that one final kiss
I wouldn't have felt my love was being reciprocated

If I loved you a little less
That night wouldn't be flashing back repeatedly
I would've slept well entirely
I wouldn't have wished you with me

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have chose you over her
Her, with the love, future and security that she offers
I wouldn't have the guts to hurt other people

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have stomached being a third party
I wouldn't have accepted you after what you've done to me
I would have cared what others think about me

If I loved you a little less
I wouldn't have agreed to this kind of setup
Like on a death row queue, I voluntarily line up
Except that this is a slow torturous death with a heads up

If I loved you a little less
I would've forced you my beliefs
I would've blackmailed you emotionally
And tied you up just to be with me

If only I have loved you a little less
Just a little less
But I only love you a little,
More and more each day

If only I have loved you a little less
But my love for you was beyond everything
Beyond time, pain, risks, judgment and common sense
Even beyond death, I think

If only I have loved myself a little less
I wouldn't have decided to fight a handicapped game
I wouldn't have swallowed all the hatred and curses thrown at my name
I wouldn't have been able to love you all the same

Curse my stubborn heart for not knowing how to love a little less
It only knows of love that is always at its peak
With only one choice between all or nothing
And it always chooses all, if it's you, right from the very beginning

He is one of the royalties
King of Hearts
Of all the card kings
He's the only one who committed suicide

Coincidence perhaps?
Or maybe not

I was sitting on a chair
Directly blowing to me is air
Brown is the color of my hair
But that has nothing to do with this tale

With music playing, I write a poem
I am silently thinking alone
I remembered it was my dream to have a room
Which I can call my own

Less the music, the silence was deafening
But I can take it, because I’m waiting
While I sing, I know they’re on their way coming
Back to our room, my beloved siblings

Friday, 11:00 PM
You said we got to get going
Wait, what? What, wait.
I haven't even started yet

We started walking against my will
As crowds started piling
My throat is drying
But I gotta speak

With weakened knees
I say my feelings
I couldn't even explain
What, why, how, when

You say you don't know
You say you're not sure
Believe me, me too
Take your time to think things through

Saturday morning
I was full of bliss
I've conquered my fear
I was full of cheers

Things stayed the same
No awkwardness to blame
We will remain as friends
I'm fine with that ending

Sunday evening
I started to regret
I shouldn't have said it
I shouldn't have made you think

I thought the truth will set us free
But it only did to me
It caged you to see
Futures with uncertainties

My feelings caused you turmoils
I should've been the only one who suffers
Because I selfishly uttered words
That should've remained gagged in silence

Here is the risk I've taken
Spiting me right in my face
Was it even worth it?
To have you experience unintentional pain

Back to Friday, 11:00 PM,
My throat should've dried up to the extent
That it can't speak
That it won't speak

Take me back to Friday, 11:00 PM
My knees should've been so weak
That I wasn't able to make it to our meeting
And this, wouldn't have happened

Monday, as another weekday starts
We can hear both virtual pens being dragged
To courageously write words that are cowards
'Cause my knees will probably be spineless from this day forward

My mind’s blank
I know, that’s what they call a writer’s block
There’s nothing more in stock
If only I can withdraw some words from a bank

I lied
The processing hasn’t died
I know this is something I should hide
What should I do, maybe just take a deep sigh

My mind is full
To the extent that I’m losing my cool
Ah, I’m such a fool
I feel like I’m using myself as a tool

So much for a writer’s block
Wrong, I’m hitting my head with a rock
With the character I made, I fell in love
This is so stupid, can I go back?

Who are you?
Are you the one inside rock sanctuaries?
Built from pennies without taxes?
Made by white-robe-wearing prisoners?

Who are you?
Are you the one preached by those on the streets?
Those who wear dresses and suits
By those who ask for money without receipts?

Who are you?
Are you the one described by those thick books?
The one who is mighty and all good?
Omniscient and wiped off all those who are rude?

Who are you?
Are you the one who's love is unconditional?
Yet the one who said there's only cold and warm?
The one who denies the existence of something lukewarm?

Who are you?
Are you the one who's perfect?
But you created what everyone called "mistakes"
The one who said those mistakes' feelings are fake?

Who are you?
Are you the ultimate judge?
The one who taught to point out faces with muds
Without first looking in the mirror which is a must?

Who are you?
Everyone is presenting their own clues
Who are you?
Even though they know no one is really a hundred percent true

I believe I know you
Not because of scripts
Or from others' beliefs
I just somehow feel I know you

Others might not believe the 'you' I know
Because they have their 'you' of their own
But I will not shove my 'you' down their throats
Just to reign their 'you' as the ultimate truth

I'll get out of my shell
And I'll spoil you a little
Because for you I fell

I'll take you to dinner
At the tower of Eiffel
Give you everything that shines, everything that is fragile
Hang on your ceiling the most extravagant chandelier
Fly you inside a balloon fueled with hot air
Buy a yacht and set sail
Start our love story to beat any existing fairytale

I'll buy us rings and send invitations to every mails
You and I will walk the majestic aisle
I'll lean for a kiss after lifting your veil
And in celebration, they'll ring the church's bells
But first, say you do, please do tell
And wear this round-shaped silver around your finger

But if all I wrote fails
I'll just love you a little
More everyday

What I am to you
Is an ant in a bird's-eye view

To cut the strings attached to us
In case you suddenly say "Time is up."

How I wish it would be sharp enough
So the pain could immediately stop

In life there are puzzles that remained unsolved
Words that were left unsaid even if you're bold
Things you wished for yet you can't get a hold
Things that will keep you thinking, life's too cold

Will the great sun take its chance?
To close the gap of their distance
Towards earth, it'll make its love begun
Which can also result to earth be gone?

If only gravity would be reverted
So that rain won't be the one falling instead
So that the other way can also be tasted
By the one who has always been falling dead?

If a bird and a fish fell for each other
Who's willing to lose its breath to be together?
Wouldn't being apart much better?
Though it'll lead their hearts to death closer

A dog has always been a man's best friend
But even loyalty can have its end
Especially when the master himself can't mend
The longing of a slave to be more than a friend

An author writes what's in his mind
Creates a character of a different kind
Later on wishes for it to exist in real life
Though he knows it won't happen, deep inside

The manager who seems obliging guides us by saying ‘this way’,
Turning on the light on the long hallway, she says ‘Red to the right’,
The destroyed revolving door; bird of paradise flowers on the floor,
Tarantulas crawling on the satin walls, I turned back and laughed

Where’re you going baby?
I wait on this chair; don’t open your eyes until I count to seven

Pret un, the dewdrops of night on your neck; to the extent that you lost your voice,
Deux, a castle made of blocks that ***** together, to between your fingers,
Trois, the spider web which entangles and entangles like this, continuously,
The sandclock which started to go backwards to 9095

The noise that echoes throughout the long hallway, ‘Have we met before?’,
‘The blue to the left of the red’,
The rusted angel’s wings; yesterday’s dream that has been deferred,
Concealing your eyes from the direction of the claps

Who are you? Tell me baby,
That’s when you put your hand into a mirror that reflects nobody

Et quatre, the scent of nostalgia even on your back, your hot breath,
Cinq, the eyes which rise even in the darkness; if it’s not permitted,
Six, if your tears are reviving, then somehow,
The remains which slowly come to live in 9095

Don’t try to find anything more than this for I’ll be by your side,
Even though you can’t go back once you have opened your eyes,
If you still like it then, silently,

Pret un, the dewdrops of night on your neck; to the extent that you lost your voice,
Deux, a castle made of blocks that ***** together, to between your fingers,
Trois, the spider web which entangles and entangles like this, continuously,
The sandclock which started to go backwards to 9095

Et quatre, the scent of nostalgia even on your back,
Cinq, the eyes which rise even in the darkness,
Six, if your tears are reviving, then somehow,
The remains which slowly come to live in 9095

I prayed,
and you came.

I'm still praying,
but I know He'll take.

Unlucky,
considered by many.

Cursed,
as many said.

Considered as bad luck,
like a black cat.

The thirteenth,
it is feared.

Only a handful can see
the divinity underneath..

such as hers;
her eyes differs
in what it sees

I think it can see rainbows
in a monochrome facade,
an angel
from a fallen devil,
a poet
in a psychotic patient,
the positive
in a double negative,
a person deserving of love,
although it hated its own blood.

It's a complete wonder; a mystery.

But as the Italians say,
"fare tredici":
hit the jackpot
with the numero trece,

More than what she can see—
that is what she is to me.

Ako yung pending
Na nalimutan **** asikasuhin
Isipin
Sa dami ng iyong gagawin
At dalahin
Nawala sa iyong isip
Dahil na din siguro ika'y makakalimutin
At ang iyong isip ay lumilipad sa hangin
At sa sakit
Na di mo pa kayang burahin

Pero ako yung pending
Na nandito pa din
Na mananatili
Sa iyong tabi
Parang aninong
Bubuntot buntot
Na 'di ka hahayaang mag-isa
Sa dilim man ay iyong kasama
Paglingon mo, ako ay tatawa
Makaguhit man lang kahit papaano ng ngiti sa iyong mukha

Kahit na ako yung pending
Na di ko alam kung kailan mo balak gawin
Kung gagawin nga ba o buburahin
Na nakatawa man ay may kirot pa din
Na tumatagas pag ikaw ay 'di nakatingin
Hahaha heto na naman akong martir
Pero ayos lang hihintayin kitang gumaling
Mananatili hanggat hindi papaalisin
Sarili mo muna ang iyong mahalin
At saka na ako isipin

A love that can easily be mine
It's already in my hand
All I had to do was to grasp
But it was left undone

A love that came back
It still won't come true but
It was still in my hand
And I was taken aback

Being the weakling that I am,
My heart wavered and I was shaken
To the past, I felt regret
To the present, I felt guilt

And now I'm stuck
Which way? Left or right?
And since I can't decide
I am dropping them all, leaving nothing behind

Go! Go all away!
Leave me be for this is where I'll stay
In the middle of nowhere is my imprisonment
To the future, I feel nothing

Love? I won't ever fvcking wish for it
Just let those love I've let go to find it instead
Let them find peace, and maybe someday forgiveness
At my sanity's expense

Three buildings
No, I didn't miss these
The curved road
The way to prison

Sheep at the entrance
A wolf inside
It passes through them in a blink of an eye
Its acting is oh so fine

An innocent angel glides
Staircase marked with the devil's hands
A seemingly dried paint
Staining who dares to touch it

Avoiding gazes
You couldn't see me
A power of an introvert
That is to never get noticed

With a preserved key
Into an unchanging door ****
What is security?
Heh, you've let your guard down

This place is rotting
To the extent that it sent shivers on my spine
Garments still hanging
Even something that was mine

"Sshh!" Quiet baby!
Hush! Don't be too surprised
I am so glad to see
Your narrowed yet rounded eyes

The wooden chair creaks
The once soft sofa is now stiff
Now, now, don't sniff
It should be me, with all these detergent scent

Little cockroaches running around
Hiding, popping in and out of the cracks
With what you said I felt glee
You want to be like them, free

Why just now?
You could've done it before in rewind
How does it taste?
The pain from twenty-o-one-five

Beauty-less vanity
With that can you foresee?
I just unmasked your true colors
Uglier than any other monsters

Ooops, I cut too much
Of what he considered as his "life"
Now, what?
You will never ever be satisfied

He never knew me anyway
How did you like my introduction?
He can't even take sufferings like my way
He turned the switch on

Alas! It didn't work
Of course it won't
Behold! Humanity at its finest
Do you see the laughing saints?

We have now reversed our roles
True, it is quite forcing
You've made me like this for so long
Is it to your liking?

Red, violet, black, blue
The color of the rainbow signifies me
I'll paint these colors to you
See the root of my tree

With your voice
That's already hoarsed
To me it is pleasure
Your nails have to endure

You're holy? No!
Neither I am
Your tea has gone cold
As I dream with eyes wide open

Going home
What is remorse,
When it was what you deserved?
Alarms go off