I was thinking it is over;
Jesus made a way for me.
God took it over for me.
I was thinking it is over;
In him, every challenge is a walkover.
I am ready to give this one to him.
I am ready to give my life to him.
I am ready to live for him until it is over.

God Almighty never fails;
He always conquers.
My life success is not personal.
I trust him, he never fails.
I know him, he always conquers.
This is God's success, it’s not personal.

Written by: The Senior 07/09/2019

I loved her.

Before I even gazed upon her

I loved her

Before I was even dazed by her words of splendour

I loved her

Not for her ability to
charm others
as even though she just as often harmed others

Not for her straightforward intelligence
for she shared a forward thinking
dissidence

And not for her beauty & majesty did I love her

Because not far from often, did she bring cruelty and calamity too others that I did love

And when I loved her, it wasn’t because of her bountiful spirit

For when one drove responsibility towards her
she was both accountable and idyllic
her innate strength insurmountable & prolific

And my love did not come from her humble yet dominating origins

Hunters and gatherers roaming in forests

Nor her families evolution, amongst changing nations
into cultural irrigation, harvesting & cultivation

Yet my love was neither superficial

wrought by a feverish desire for atypical minerals

As it is evident she grew up to live lavishly, as if she were a daughter of kings and pharaohs, emperors and regents

Far from superficial
it went beyond my own existence
‘tis was it deep

And watching her grow up
yet older and slowly darker
it flooded me with a sense of grief

For that was the only side she showed me, and allowed others to see

But beyond the seas and ravines, ridges & fjords, she beamed

And that is how it felt for a time
her happiness distant and far gone

Looking back it’s blatant she was far from dormant

But I believe during that time she was merely misled

It took time to connect her heart with her head

And for a time it seemed she was finally ready to proceed

And that was all but my dream
for her

But in my heart, I knew she would waver and ultimately capitulate towards the darker times

I think, even though she was mature and grown

not enough time separated her from her home

a family always wanting to dominate and roam

The precedence was set
The credulous to fret

And even though it’s in her nature to align with basic instincts

I awaited,
like those in scriptures
for a sign
that leads her to brighter precincts.

Of this hope

it was something I dreamt about
until I was left awoke

It was a scathing cycle, hopes festered
with a heart broke

And in the depth of my despair
I was still convinced,
that behind her “politics” & warring nature with others,

that the woman I loved & dreamt, was still there

And you know what?

She convinced me

Not deceitfully nor schemingly
but seemingly
through action

She was on a phase of exploration
visiting foreign nations
and establishing relations

Truth was
All of it was a ruse
corrupting & enslaving
it was just another way of experssing her roots

Since then, I’ve never been lead astray, I knew it was just one big game

Even though I never believed that’s who she wholly
was and is

I can’t help but fell this is the way it is

Her being at an unbeknownst
war with herself

One that expresses all she can be
charming, beautiful, full of majesty

That she is the most complex & admiring existence in this universe

And another of opposite birth

One that can be harming, full of cruelty and calamity

And of this side I fear brings the other to her knees

And it ladens me with tears

But of this side of her
I fail to recognise,
as the woman I loved,
and it’s the only failure
I won’t rectify

The woman I loved,
the beautiful glimpses of allure,
that sparks through the impure and demeaning

Is the only meaning I can find within myself to breathe

But I’m lost
Lost in her mystery
Lost in the past

Because, I don’t see her anymore
giving rise to my love in the past tense

For I don’t know where she lives or with whom she spend her time
with

But of the worst fear I hold within my heart
is that the woman I loved never existed to begin with

That the idea of her was just a figment
of my idealistic mind

That all these years,
I conjured a fallacy of this supposed
“Benevolent”
side of her
so I could forgive what she had
imposed

And that I believed & fought so fervently  
in her
because in hope
it would bring life to her

Whatever the reality
I will never put cease
to my belief
that I will see her

Why?

Because the person
of whom I am talking about
is

Humanity

And she is the most beautiful thing I’ve known, regardless of her flaws

Sometimes people forget
Here you have equal respect
No short change
No Poet is that deranged
Your as whole as I
I hold all your love inside
I dream you as a queen
And I’m your partner
A simple king
Together we sing
Hear my heart love
Let it ring
In your ear
I need you to help me steer
At your feet
I am near
.......................

I earned your contempt just
because I did not march to your music.
You sentenced me to hell
because I did not sing with you.
You even questioned my social philosophy
and even my religious conviction.
I will not ever return the hate and the contempt.
But however many holy words you speak, read, write and believe; it is useless unless you value human service and kindness.

To teach, to help a stray animal, to smile and assist a stranger, to work for your family, to plant trees, to give to the needy—these activities do not need explanation about theology.
Every one of these just needs anyone of us,
as humans—to reach out, to give a lending hand,
to care and to believe in the existence of faith and humanity.

I had mistakes, wrong choices, troubles, failures, losses and fears in the past that taught me lessons and flared my passion
to seek spiritual guidance.
I went astray but I listened to my inner voice that helped me back on track.
I’d still probably be in the darkness had I not known how to cultivate my emotional side.
The guides, the path, the doors
will be different for all of us.
But a lot of our spiritual encounters happen in the ordinariness of our daily life.

My spiritual moments have not just happened when I closed my eyes.
They happened when I cuddled my kindergarten students in school and when I watched the water flows in the river
and the birds sing.
They continue to happen when I do long distance parenting and do  
my duty as a mother,
when I smile and greet my neighbors
and even when I admire colors everywhere.

The world has many colors my dear,
beautiful colors and I have the profoundest respect to even the bleakest and the lightless.
Let us be inspired by the plants who come together and thrive peacefully in a garden.
Let’s see beyond our beliefs and differences and embrace each other’s colors and uniqueness to add beauty to our existence.
My friend, the way we give the gifts of faith, humanity, kindness, friendship and love to the people around us is how we save the world.

My vision was blurry
From the water falling onto my face,
His hands pulling me close to him
A soft
Absent minded kiss on the neck.

Sometimes we’re more capable of a deeper love
For one person
In only a month
Than we are for another in two years.

Beer can in hand,
I walked up behind him and folded my arms
Around his waist
Letting the aroma of his cooking engulf me,
I pressed my face into his back
And smelled that busy kitchen smell
In his work clothes.

I’d never been with someone
Who’s fire matched mine.
Someone who encouraged me
To be emotional,
Instead of being afraid of me.
Who held me in dark moments,
But knew when to let go.
In three years Seth didn’t know.
Two years, and Dillon didn’t understand.
But in three and a half weeks
Rob could always tell
When I needed him,
When I needed space,
What was on my mind,
And whether or not
I was lying.

Driving around
In his car after midnight,
Smoking an illegal herb,
And talking about
What keeps us up at night,
And what helps us sleep.
His hand
On my leg,
His fingers locking with mine,
I played with his hair
And we sang along
To old songs
That sad teenagers listen to.

But we aren’t always
Supposed
To end up with someone
Who fits so perfectly into our souls.
Somehow we fit a lifetime of love
In a matter of weeks
And it was complete.

I woke up
To his perfect touches.
It wasn’t that he was gentle,
Or rough,
But perfect.
He knew when to be firm,
And when to be soft,
And I never had to tell him.
Making love in the morning,
And holding each other,
Playing with his hair
As if I’d done so for years,
And he kissed the top of my head
Every few minutes.

We don’t always end up
With our soul mates,
Because we aren’t always their soul mates.

Laughing in the car,
Watching TV,
Getting dinner,
Making dinner,
Him pressing the back of my hand
To his lips.

It can be so perfect,
And burn out
So fast.