It simmers inside like a *** set to boil, this roiling bubbling never ending restlessness. Like a rabbit in the forest, seeming content for a time, yet never letting down the guard. Always alert, always watching, always ready to run. Fight or flight a way of life, there is no life without this strife. Content to be and sit and relax, claw my eyes out like angry cats. Punching holes in walls with fists, and screaming into pillow fits. Drinking drowning all it out, for false release and sultry pout. Use them up and toss them out, not what you were talking about. You knew you needed something there, to make this life seem somewhat fair. Nothing going right at all, this anger eating feed it’s call. growing green monstrosity threatening lives all around me with negativity. Bringing darkness to the light the shadowed soul of fight or flight. The angry red and growing pain is searing every dried up vein. Till nothing left but this monster, blinded slave to all it’s incurred. Anger never served it's master, turns the tables shackles of disaster, and satisfaction never gained by feeding what it thirsts in vain this rain of destruction all around never makes a life abound. The monster growing stronger still will hunger more and never filled and feed it though you might and try it will never ends until you die.

Unless you take a sword of light and fight it with nobility and tell it truth and peace and love and right it with humility. It can be beat, it can be killed, it does not have to win. Surrender anger to the Lord, and turn back from your sin.

something something little lamb
all these poems are so sad
Mary probably ate that lamb
'cause she probly had no dad
and Old Yeller up and died
at least that's what i've heard is said
but i've never seen the movie
its so old now, he's probably dead
the little mermaid got divorced
because she missed her family
Mulan's life was totally forced
had to be a man just to be free
Eric must have drowned
tryin to get his wifey back
and once a queen is crowned
her main job is in the sack
poems are like country songs
they only talk of what is sad
a long long list of all the wrongs
they're focusing on all the bad
and if you read them backwards
do you think it all is happy things
all positive and happy words
rainbows, butterflies and birdies sing
laughter was my honest goal
but now I'm done with rambling
negativity can take a toll
but I feel for all those suffering

Spinning circles in my head
I never have been on the meds
I hear they're great and fix some stuff
but I just want to be enough
I don't want to be zombified
that just makes me mortified
so I will argue for our right
to just be different, that's our fight
so we have too much energy
and are lacking synchronicity
people can't keep up with us
some with Tourettes often cuss
wild ideas spinning out
enthusiastic scream and shout
and they just want to structure me
to fit me in their society
this is how it's supposed to be
well sorry dude, that just ain't me
I just want creativity
and redefining normalcy
that box just will not fit us all
sorry but it's just too small
we were made so limitless
it's time for us to be fearless
breaking out to be our own
we discover the unknown

A long *** flight to parts unknown
A beautiful town becomes your home
With jagged mountains topped with snow
And crystal lakes lay far below
A bustling town with lots of bars
A canopy of brilliant stars
A jet boat ride a ledge bungy
A cruise with dolphins out to sea
Snowboarding with awesome friends
Until the season meets it's end
The adventure is continuing
It started off with canyoning
Sleeping in a car for weeks
To see new shores and snow capped peaks
From glaciers to beach in a single day
And free campgrounds where you can stay
Zorbing down a grassy hill
A private beach where you can chill
Caving through the dark abyss
Is definitely something not to miss
Adventures abound in these islands
And I'm gonna miss all my awesome friends
And now it's time to say goodbye
And to new adventures, off I fly.

Politics politics all over the place
it's everywhere all up in your face
we talk about it when we don't know squat
everyone with opinions it happens a lot
humans presented like bright colored birds
puffed up flinging around lots of big words
you must vote for me 'cause I am the best
you'll make lots of money with plenty of rest
the government will solve all of your strife
and give you everything you want out of life
don't vote for that guy, he is just dumb
vote for me so you can carry your gun
don't vote for him, or you must keep that baby
you were ***** and he'll be a drug dealer maybe
if you vote for one then you have a choice
but only the choices that each came to voice
the sad thing is, they're all somewhat wrong
democracy lasts a few years then it's gone
we all came to listen to them taunt
freedom is the thing we all really want
freedom from fear and our financial woe
freedom to go wherever we want to go
freedom won't come from voting just right
from your perfect candidate winning the fight
freedom comes from God up above
freedom comes from accepting His love
freedom is inside you in all circumstances
so vote for Jesus, and you don't have to take chances

Booming big and bold and loud
like a charging, stomping crowd
rolling bouncing off the hills
rain goes down the window sills

curled up cozy on the chair
sitting in our underwear
fire crackling popping lights
little sparks go up in flight

I snuggle in and feel your heart
your mouth is running something smart
you always have the words to say
challenging me every single day

my mind has not a chance to think
until you stop to take a drink
the wine is smooth but not like you
so charming girls don't have a clue

you spun them tails, told them lies
you preyed on the weak and dismissed their cries
but you are now a different man
no one sees it, but I can

I always knew what was inside
it's why I wanted to be your bride
I saw a heart that's sensitive
that wanted just to somehow live

to escape all of the suffering
the mood swings were so demanding
bipolar ups and downs are tough
but I knew that you had the stuff

the stuff that love is made of true
I saw the good inside of you
I saw the love and longing deep
the secrets that you couldn't keep

so now I sit here in your lap
I zoned out so you gave me a tap
I couldn't help but think of you
distracted by my love so true

and Jesus answered all my prayers
and I don't care about people's stares
they just don't understand this
but I don't care just what they miss

Because you're mine and I am yours
and I love that we are roasting s'mores
this cabin in the woods our dream
I knew we'd make an awesome team.

I dished up plates as he walked by
greasy stringy dyed red streaks
guitars hanging on all sides
the smells of unwashed body reeks
tattooed fingers and a lip ring
soft smooth tenor from his soul
man can that pirate guy sing
but his street life takes it's toll
never smiles, furtive eyes
scared of those that steal for drugs
this pirate garb is his disguise
but offers homeless friends his hugs
he saunters off to write some songs
this strange man caught my writer's eye
making money to right some wrongs
I was compelled to write about this guy
the life of the homeless is a mystery
the tales they could tell us, wild
about their sordid history
I'm sure that it would not be mild
and now I pray that they can sleep
Jesus loves these poor souls too
and for their sins, He did weep
they're the same to Him as me and you

Don't think so hard if it's this or it's that
does this thing make me look to thin or too fat
if I take one Major and ignore the rest
if I end up failing just one stupid test

do I look much better with short hair or long
I'm just so stressed out, 'cause what if I'm wrong?!
the left or the right how do I pick a side?
will I end up lonely or will I be a bride?

If I pick one job and I hate what I do
is that worse than never even having a clue?
I'll have space that is mine if I'm buying a home
but what if I'm stuck and I need to just roam?

every decision we make can decide our whole fate
but if we don't choose soon, then it will be too late
decisions decisions I just do not know
do I have to make one? Or just go with the flow?

but you'll end up with nothing if you don't try hard
but I just don't know what I'm working toward
do I want the hubby, kids and that life?
am I really cut out to be somebody's wife?

or am I a free spirit who needs to run wild
who can't be tied down by a man or a child
what will happen in life if I never choose?
if I just ignore it will I certainly loose?

if you have been reading and it's stressing you out
if you're in this too, don't cry and don't pout
there is an answer to all of this stress
it's so very simple, that you'll never guess

and you will try and complicate things
as you chase after money or engagement rings
if you let go of stress and just listen with care
to these answers I give you, these things that I share

the reason that you can't decide what to do
is not because there is something wrong with you
its because you're afraid and you're letting it drive
but if you want to like the place that you arrive

Then you have to let go 'cause you're not in control
you think that you are, but you don't even know
we hold on so tight and we fight and we cry
then scream up at God and cast blame and ask why

"I'm trying to help you, but you won't let go!
you don't even know what you want, but I know
I'm trying to give you the desires of your heart
but you have to let me, yes that is your part

Fear not I am with you, no I will not leave
I only have gifts of love up my sleeve
so hold out your hands and give me your fears
and I will give you hope to replace all those tears

Now sit up straight and just choose one path
don't think about probability or statistical math
just follow your heart to wherever it leads
don't worry about if you end up in the weeds

just keep on going and do not ever quit
don't rely on yourself, your charm or your wit
just trust and believe in Me I will provide
so, take My hand, and lets go for a ride."

Seek ye first His Kingdom
and that's when you will find
all those other things you chase
that run around your mind
they really do not matter
this life is but a breath
and when you die at the end
you will have nothing left
but if you seek His Kingdom
and store treasure up above
instead of struggling alone
you can rely upon His love
if you look upon this life
as a foundation for the rest
and work as hard as you can now
in eternity you'll be blessed
We think retirement happens
around when we turn 62
but what if it happens when we die
and we don't have a clue
are we not willing to risk
a few years when old and grey
for an eternity of joy and fun
that makes this life look like one day?

Flower petals snowing down
covering the grassy ground
standing underneath the trees
the humming sound of happy bees
darting through the sunny skies
a thousand newborn butterflies
grassy windswept green cascades
like the tail fins of a million mermaids
fluffy shedding, startled deer
glance up as a dog draws near
the old tire swing in desolation
sparking the imagination
red-tail hawk takes sudden wing
God can be seen in everything

true love's kiss a wishful thing
like the delicateness of a butterfly wing
you make me weak in my stupid knees
'cause you scare me as much as a horde of bees
my love for you is purest white
but when you draw near, I take flight
I timidly tried to give you my heart
but you sat and laughed as you tore it apart
the lesson I hope you all learn from my mess
Be brave! Have courage! True love is fearless!

Lost, lost, it comes with a cost
the more we are lost the more it will cost
we travel from this place to that place and more
never really knowing what we're looking for
we dabble in this and we dabble in that
sleep in a treehouse and get a new tat
we dress like a hippy and smoke lots of grass
and drive until we've run out of gas
then we try chasing the title and cash
and hoard all we can so we have a stash
when we are old we'll retire with ease
and do whatever the heck that we please
but then we realize we already were!
and then we go right back to acting unsure
around and around, we just do not know
whatever we plant we will reap what we sow
all of our choices seem totally wrong
stilettos and ties, or board-shorts and a thong
am I the type with my hair all in place
or am I the one with the paint on my face
trek through the mountains to find peace and quiet
or sit by the pool on the south beach diet
we look for something that cannot be found
so we just keep moving around and around
but if lost is the state you are in on this day
take heart and remember, it's not here to stay
even Lost has Found, they are good mates
none of us is alone, or in charge of our fates

Decisions are an interesting thing
you can sit and wait and wait
but nothing seems to be happening
while you hope for something great
but decisions are not wishes
a fanciful thing in your head
a full sea we'd have if wishes were fishes
they'll sit in your mind until you are dead
decisions are not easy to make
but once you do that's when it ignites
and that path you're on, ain't easy to break
and failures become all out fights
to get where you're going, that is your aim
and God will bring you the things you need
as you trust His path to win this game
if you believe in His love and timing and speed
once that decision has clicked in your brain
everything works to push you that way
if you fall you get up again and again
because you know you will get there someday

Just a republican girl
living in a liberal world
took the 4Runner going anywhere
Just a democrat boy
living in a conservative world
took the white Prius going anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
the marijuana's like perfume
for a puff they can share the night
it goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
the traffic on the 5's insane
the endless cars stretch through the night
streetlights, people
there's no escaping anywhere
hide me somewhere in the night

too many beards and beer
there are "rainbows" everywhere
politics are in your face
all the time
some will win, some will lose
there are only reds or blues
the fighting never ends
it goes on and on and on and on

Strangers, waiting
the traffic on the 5's insane
the endless cars stretch through the night
streetlights, people
there's no escaping anywhere
hide me somewhere in the night

don't stop believing
that you can escape the city
street lights, people
don't care at allllll

don't stop believing
that you can escape the city
street lights, people
don't care at allllll

don't stop believing
that you can escape the city
street lights, people
don't care at allllll

So many! Covering the entire expanse, barely space between
little dots of hope, wishes afar, glittering and answering
some bright with promise, a heart of faith, believing
some dim, doubtful, but still glimmering, shyly
scattered designs, untold, mysterious and majestic
love, spelled out above in angelic linguistics
a rushing sound nearby, not anxious as with humans
desiring nothing, hurrying nowhere, just pressing on
languid, endless, steadiness of a river, speaking perseverance.
a melody of croaking, rustling, and high pitched "singing"
peering into blackest forest, heart pounding, hands shaking
enveloped in the earth's night symphony of excitement
a troubled soul, laying in the deserted road, seeking
the songs of love, the vast power...at last, takes heart.

crashing down a building on fire
running screaming mud soaked mire
the blood in the streets trickled like rain
girl in the street face twisted in pain
streaks run from black soot on her face
takes her hand tries to help her keep pace
his arm is missing from the elbow down
she stumbles on somebody's leg on the ground
his single hand holds her and lifts her along
where did everything start to go wrong?
booms cause the rubble cascading about
she watches his lips as he starts to shout
nodding along though she can't hear a thing
she buckles in pain at another sharp sting
gasping for air her lungs filling with smoke
he wraps her up in his tattered green cloak
he touches her face as he looks in her eyes
she's afraid that he is saying goodbye
she lifts up her hand and sees all the blood
suddenly fear comes at her like a flood
but the she looks in his eyes and there a strong gleam
he won't leave her, because they are a team
so they wrap their arms round and move ahead
there's no stopping them, not until they are dead
he picks up a sword and starts hacking away
he and his love, well they are here to stay
she throws a hatchet as hard as she can
killing a monster disguised as a man
they stumble and fight till they're finally free
and they lay down and gasp at the base of a tree
the moonlight is shining like nothing's amiss
the young man rolls over and plants a strong kiss
he takes her hand as he lays down by her side
if he'd met her before, he'd have made her his bride
now he could feel that her hand's growing cold
he tried not to imagine their life, growing old
her beautiful face, eyes stared up at the sky
he knew from the start that she was doomed to die
for beauty and innocence don't belong in this land
he'd set out to save her yes that was his plan
he hadn't even gotten to know her sweet name
she'd been such a badass in life's cruel little game
his tears streamed down as his breath left his chest
and then he gave in to that peaceful death rest

the lake like a mirror nestled between emerald mountains
frosting sits on the top of grandfather peaks
watching wise and ancient bearded in pines and hemlock
hopeless romantics gliding through peaceful waters
talking quietly to each other as mist rises with the sun

old and gnarled like a little white oak
bending shifting creating some smoke
clad in plaid like an old country dad
before mom gets home, cleans up a tad
the wood catches fire, a beautiful blaze
he stands there proud as it catches his gaze
simply enjoying little things in life
peaceful right now but then in walks the wife
Like fire she's spirited, uncontrolled and wild
but not nearly as much as their firstborn child
he tinkers around on his little back porch
watching the wood burn as it starts to scorch
fire is burning all heated around
but he stands like an oak on his spot of ground

It's all about money and why do we care
little strip of paper, man with white hair
we struggle and cry like its all that we need
it causes pain and we work till we bleed
over paper and coin marriages break
makes people greedy, they take and they take
if you have none, some people won't date you
if you have too much then people will hate you
we put all of our effort into getting this stuff
but even with plenty it's never enough
we want it so people will like us a lot
they don't actually like us, just want what we got
so people will like them better instead
but they'll just want it as soon as you're dead
there's a secret that I am going to tell you
if you just like people, then they'll like you too
if you do what you want, with all of your heart
and put others first, right from the start
the money will magically fall in your lap
like a never ending money tree tap
the secret to more money is to care less
if you don't "love" money then there is no stress
if you're obsessed with a person then they will not stay
same goes for your money, you just chase it away
the most rewarding way you can get rich
is just do your best, and don't be a *****

I know Jesus loves me
It's in everything I see
when I have a bad day
I know it'll be okay
we're here for a time
short like this little rhyme
but when things do go bad
and I find I'm really sad
just take my eyes off this life
and the struggle to be a wife
and know thankfulness is key
then love's in everything I see

I traveled down a winding road not sure where to go
I let the wind just push me around landing here or there
Sometimes a path would seem alight with a certain glow
but when I followed them they didn't lead me anywhere

a dead end here a dead end there, sometimes its so frustrating
so I got back on the winding road and I went on my way
and then it straightened out a bit which was so exciting
there was a road alongside mine and it felt like a new day

the fog had finally lifted and the dead ends were no more
all those winding paths that crossed, nowhere to be seen
I felt a clarity and light, I could feel it to my core
the foggy gray path I'd traveled now full of life and green

this path that followed next to mine, was straight and clear
it veered when mine veered, and it curved with mine
I started to worry that it would leave and gave in to my fear
that is when I saw it, bright yellow and foreboding sign

"Rocks Ahead!" It said, trying to warn me of my danger
and then I saw the path was no longer clear before me
a giant boulder stood ahead making our two paths a stranger
but as roads continue on, that is not the end of the story

a tunnel here and tons of rocks, the sign did not justify
the difficult path these roads did take before they met again
mine went through a tunnel, dark and heavy but I can testify
I don't know how dark the other road got but it was not the end

these roads still run at parallels and see each other once in a while
in beautiful green meadows and dangerous cliffs that are not tame
and traveling along it has made me cry, and scream and smile
but I know the roads will someday merge and they will be the same

I can't read any more poetry
was not meant to rhyme
with this statement of weird facts
are different to the people viewing them
like in an accident when you're in a car
wash your face and your hair
brained ideas are all running
horses right over the edge
of this razor is duller than ever
ever after and then some
people just never know you
think you know everything
in the world comes back around
and around and around she goes
to the store to buy some more
that I think about why I love somebody
let the cat out again and I can't find him
and I were meant to be
better at your job and you might get somewhere
over the rainbow where monkeys fly
to California to see your family
jewels and gold in an old treasure chest
x-ray showed a heart murmur
into my ear that you love me

Grinding out the pages for the classes I am in
I do not know my goal, what am I trying to win?
I work and slave away, gaining not a thing
and trying not to glance out at the greenery of spring
this work is never ending, but it's like a rocking chair
I may be doing something, but it doesn't get me anywhere
who am I trying to impress, is there one who even sees
I don't know what the point is, will someone tell me please?
I'm enrolled in this school, and working toward this end
but I'm also part of that school, can you see a trend?
I like to be in school, because I like to learn
good grades are so easy, please tell me it's my turn
work is so much harder, I just can't figure why
I am always reaching but the sky is just too high
what will I be when I grow up, I wish that I knew
but here I am at 30 and I still don't have a clue.
Some people just know, exactly where they're going
or are they really stuck, and it's not them they're showing
some content to work at jobs they hate, to make a buck
but I could never live like that, I want to give a "duck"
then there are those people with the dream jobs in their hand
ah what would life be like to have something just so grand
so here I am my brain in circles sitting in my room
I'll be pondering this till old and gray and rotting in my tomb

Thankful little hopeful day
it started with a dream of you
I know that God hears when I pray
I wish that you would know that too
open your heart and let him in
He just wants to help you through
if you let go of all that sin
then you will see that this is true
love is pure and love is right
true love wants what's best for you
so just let go and stop the fight
good things you'll find are more than few
if life would flash before your eyes
then you'd make choices differently
then you could skip those failing tries
because you'd see all so clearly
now what if someone loved you so
that they even died for you
and He only wants to help you grow
into the person that is truly you
when you finally understand
that love is selfless, helpful, kind
then you will be a better man
and realize that you do not mind
all of your desires deep
the ones that you don't tell a soul
God will give you, yours to keep
He will help you reach that goal

Bitter feelings tears are falling
But you have to listen to that calling
When you leave the one you love
because you felt lead from above
sometimes He will take and hide you
when you don't know just what to do
the easy life is not the one
a heavy heart can weigh a ton
God will always make a way
if you will just get down and pray
when you find that all you're chasing
with the time that you've been wasting
didn't turn out how you hoped for
and left you always wanting more
you were looking in wrong places
putting hope in pretty faces
security isn't money in the bank
and you forget it's God to thank
when you feel safe because you're married
and you don't realize you've been carried
the perfect house with the big yard
you forget again to thank the Lord
Emptiness is always haunting
every day starts to seem daunting
Fix your eyes on what's ahead
that Jesus rose up from the dead
if you will just put hope in him
and let go of all the dragging sin
impossible becomes obsolete
then life starts to be really sweet

I sat among the lupins
a sunny breezy day
my dog was rolling in the grass
I love to watch him play

I picked at little flowers
and watched the bugs fly by
I never get to enjoy the spring
and I will tell you why

usually I'm sneezing
my eyes are itching so
I can't even go outside at all
to watch the green stuff grow

today I soaked up sunshine
and loving every minute
I hope my allergies are gone
'cause I want to be out in it

So I sat among the lupins
till the sunshine went away
soaking up the good green earth
as I thanked God for this day