Jay M

Sep 2020

Snow Selmon

I heat my body to bubbles
and maybe that's why I fly away
and why I snap
and why after I feel broken
all I need was to stay safe
in the confines of my mind

Jay M Sep 2020

Butterfly

Fluttering through the storm
Delicate beauty
Amidst a symphony of madness
Lingering sweetly in the sadness

Wings of colors
Never to be seen
By the butterfly
Only those
Who admire it so

Spinning in the black
Falling so slow
On wings of silken touch
Keeping from falling down
Down below

Please
Dear butterfly
Don't you cry
For before you does lie
A beautiful swarm
Of others
Searching for you

Leave them not,
Dear butterfly
For your time
Has not yet reached the end

Butterfly

- Jay M
September 14th, 2020

Butterfly...don't go.

#butterfly #storm #beauty

Jay M Sep 2020

Yellow Rose

Yellow rose
Beauty so bright
Thorns drip of crimson

So sweet
Alas,
Only to be taken through pain

Yellow rose
Burning sun
Smile for me
Lure me with your scent

Yellow rose
Petals rays of light
Shine down on me
Ever so bright
Get me through the night

Yellow rose
Bloom for me
Show me your inner beauty

Yellow rose
More than your protective thorns
More than your petals of gold

Yellow rose
Take me back
To times of bliss
When chaos was aside
Where we did not hide

Yellow rose
Slowly wilting
Remain for me
Just be

Yellow rose
Slowly it does decay
Veins of brown
Slowly taking over

Yellow rose
Fire burning low
Embers flutter and flow
Soon to go dark
Turn to ashes

Yellow rose
Decay and dry
How you did try
To display your inner beauty

Yellow rose
I suppose
This is just how it goes

- Jay M
September 14th, 2020

Oh yellow rose.

#roses #yellow #beauty #thorns

Jay M Sep 2020

Brain Puddle

This heart is
Beating me to death every day
Leaving me with barely a word to say
Trapped in a tiny cage it shall stay
My mind in one of its own

Sitting in a dark room
Lookin' up into the gloom
Taking a blast
Into memories of the past

I'm addicted
To running
Heart gunning
Out of my mind
To possibly find
Some way out of this
Nightmare I'm walking

Sleep is freedom
And freedom is weighed
Shackles at the exits
A kick in the ***
Get up

Day in and
Day out
It's the same old ****
Take another hit
To the chest
Just to remember
That you're alive

I'm addicted
To running
Heart gunning
Out of my mind
To possibly find
Some way out of this
Nightmare I'm walking

Smacked to the concrete
Down in defeat
Crawling, twitching like a bug

Skull devouring
Never quite full
Information keeps slippin'
Fallin' away
Like all the words I try to say

I'm addicted
To finding another way
Out of this insanity
Oh, what a calamity!

It's not over yet
Book isn't closed
Game still has levels left
Towering over
Undefeated
One player here
Looks like it's me
But the date's from last week

Smacked to the concrete
Down in defeat
Crawlin', twitchin' like a bug

Words are haunting me
Cutting, cutting like a knife
Buzzing around like a bee

I'm addicted
To hiding it all away
What's there to say?
That I made the mistake,
That I ******* it up?
At least I'm not fake,
And can own up to my own ****

I'm addicted to the games that I play
Put on the show
And nobody could know
Well, until you wind up in hell
And pry open like a **** clam

Words pouring like drops of rain
Telling tales of my love and my pain
There's nothing to gain
But maybe relief of release
From my brain to the page
The page to the screen.

- Jay M
September 10th, 2020

Read the last stanza, first 2 lines. I guess that's what this is? Dunno.

*I listened to "Not That Beautiful" by Papa Roach as I wrote this.

#brain #words #rain #addicted #pain #release #escape

Jay M Sep 2020

Lunatic

Back to the wall
Music playing
Something slowly arising
Preparing me to fall

Light and giddy
Swaying and saying
Words which stumble out
Sloshing and without
A drop of sense

Fingers tapping each tiny letter
Attempting to convey
The strangeness taking over
Wondering if it would get any better

Alas, it only gets worse
Before it gets better

Lying on the floor
Limbs stretched and curling back in
Laughter erupting in bursts from within
Wild, untamed and oh, what more
What more did come?

A loss of time,
All left in fog
Alone and lightly afraid
Yet thoughtless
Like a small child hearing a rhyme

Fragments
Moments of time
Glimpses into memory
Much left unseen

Slipping into sleep
In my head did I weep
For what I do not know
Kneading the carpet insecurely like dough

Awakened not an hour later
Stiff and unsure
Climbing to my bed
To rest my confused head.

- Jay M
September 6th, 2020

I was alone in my room though, the whole night. I don't know what happened, but I couldn't stop laughing. I don't remember much else. Yes, I'm fine. No, I didn't take anything.

#strange #foggy #mind #laughter

Jay M Sep 2020

Soul Space

My soul cries
Curled in on itself
Adrift in the madness
Echoing in the dark
A call to any whom dare listen
Dare turn an ear

So cold, fingertips moving numbly
Lips moving
Pouring forth words like rain
Drowning and lifting
All at once
A child lost in a surging storm
Perhaps a tiny boat
In the ocean amidst a typhoon.

- Jay M
September 2nd, 2020

Just floating in the space between.

#soul #floating #mind #rain

Jay M Aug 2020

Chilling Summer Leaves

Trembling in the night
Leaves in a cold summer wind
Shaking loose long held rain

Whispering and croaking wind
Reveals long sought answers
Yet still, there are more to emerge
Unspoken, yet aware

A sound
A fluster in alarm
Grasping an item of protection
Against an unseen foe
Soon relief
As nothing did come

Quivering once more
Weather didn't call for the downpour
But there it was
Falling from above

The soldier remains
Reluctant, yet there
Aside, yet present
To protect the inhabitants
So young,
Undeserving of wrath
Neither is the soldier.

- Jay M
August 25th, 2020

#leaves #wind #rain