I want to trust You.
You won't tell me what to do.
I keep seeking You, but You drift further away from veiw.

My life is a ******  up mess and I'm sorry for my life choices and how I dress.
But I'm not sorry for this conversation

I cry out for help and it's like You’re  procrastinating.
Leaving me suffering and now I'm hating
My God, my God why have you forsaken?

You were my one true love
As I look to the skies above I cry.
Send me a dove and bring me Your peace

Let me know Your love and that sweet release of peace
Dance with me yet again, my one true friend.
Have I fallen so far that this is the end?

Can You even hear me anymore?
Is it true what they say that God could never love a *****?
Am I going crazy and trusting in a fantasy?

No I know You. I know You are real.
Now I question  if you care, this isn't fair.

I drop to my knees and bow to the King of Kings
I won't leave until You bless me.
I won't stop calling till You acknowledge me
Stubborn I may well be

If You say to trust you
Do something!
Speak now!
I'm waiting.
Please God don't let me turn away.

When I was broken and so swallowed by fear and didn't  speak.
You spoke for me.

When I was filthy and weak
You cleansed me and gave me strength

Now I need that divine power.
Not for me but someone  smaller.
Do You not remember?
My beautiful  child, the one You gave.
My husband  has ran away.
You promised to alway stay

Come to me once again my lover and friend.
Pick me Up and spin
Like You used to.
I will have faith You won't let me fall.

Don't let me walk away.
Save me one more time.
"I am Yours and You are mine"
This is the song I sing to You.

Have you forgotten me Lord?

I am afraid of you
I am afraid of what you can make me do
Your touch can weaken my legs
You grab me by the throat my heart skips and leaps
You whisper in my ear
The warmth of your breath sends chills down my spine
Your words make my stomach turn

I am so very afraid of you
Knowing that every act betrays all that I am
And still, I can’t sleep tonight  anticipating you

I am afraid of you
I don’t know what I feel. I just know I have never felt it before
I know I have never been so free under your control

I crave you
I want you
I need you

You made me love you
You made me care for you
You made me submit to you

You claimed  my body
You claimed my mind
You claimed my heart

And now where are you?
I’m yours without a collar
I’m yours without you

I crave you
I want you
I need you

If I called asking you to be by my side
Would you be there?    
If I just stopped texting and calling
Would you care?            
If I said I wanted to be in your life forever
Would you share?
If I asked you to take my hand and jump
Would you dare?

You make me cry
You make me want to scream

I hate you
I truly do

I crave you
I want you

This is why I hate you

You make me feel lovable
You make me want to be better

This is why I hate you

I find myself wanting to open up and share what’s within my soul to you

I hate you

Your gaze strips me bare
This is why I cannot stare

I hate you

You make me want to kiss you
And say

I love you

Inhale

I hear your breath in my ear

Exhale

I feel your lips in between my thighs

Heart beat

I hear you whisper in my ear

I close my eyes

I see your bliss when you're inside of me

I open my eyes

Back arched legs quiver, I release all my pressure

Touching my breast

I feel you pressed against me, in and out your essence fills me


Tossing in my dark room

I’m looking down on you as my hips move against you like waves on a shore

Wanting you

****** energy so strong, I fall in love the moment you touch me

Kiss me

So I can feel a connection that is otherwise lost when our clothes come back on

I will wait for you.
I will follow you.

Break me. Beat me. Use me. love me.
I am yours
I have let go of control.

I have lost what it means to be human.

You break me till I fall to my knees.
But you love me all the way down.

You cut me open and kiss the wounds with salt upon your lips.
Sweet evil ruler of my mind body and soul, don't ever release me from this beautiful cursed bond.
Don't leave me to wander around lost and confused.

I need your hate. I need your love.
I need this exotic abuse.
So rare that few have tasted.

I don't understand this form of love, but you are the ruler of this love.

You know how much to torture.
You know how much to love.
You give enough and take plenty.

King of darkness and yet some how you shine light.      
Pushing me away to draw me near.
Dominating me and giving me power.
What is this madness?
Why can't I stop?
Your the most addictive drug and I will never quit.

My king of madness, I bow to you.

It's a day designed for strength and power

A day that's filled with assorted chocolates and flowers

A day that represents the love of all loves

The appreciation of a human
with God attributes to create from ones self

To raise her little helper
with little to no help

Her Prince with the Hebrew name
her courage to do what ever for that Prince and show no shame

the Israeli queen hustled 365
and two days to praise her are only set aside
her birth and the day she gave birth

with the miracle pregnancy which was not supposed to happen
but the child had her strength no doctor could have imagined

this day is for mothers of royal status
perfect beings to there child

selfless, caring, loving, strong ......

To the strongest people to walk the earth
that we call MOM

Have you ever felt broken inside?
No matter how many pills you take the pain doesn't seem to subside?

You cry at night because there's no one at your side,
To hold you close and help you refuse to die?

There's heavy weight of grief, but you go through the motions because you know you won’t  find a release

A sense of peace is all you pray to God for

Looking for a way out but the Devils got you down on all fours

You can't seem to get out and only to tears seem to let out
The silent cries as your heart dies and you tell yourself more lies

You will never be smart enough, pretty enough so you remain tough

Don't let em see you break.

And life you take,
Headstrong trying to push on,
But gravity presses down
And laughs at you trying to get up.

You look around now
All you have now seems hopeless.
Lost words broken promises and words unspoken.

What are you to do?

The men drool, the girls are cruel
But all anyone wants is to take from you.

If you can find you, maybe you find enough you to last.

Try to escape from your past and reach the future that's in clear view,
That's just too good to be true

This is just another life lesson

So here comes another sleepless night

Here comes another day to fight

Here comes another path with no light

How can you complain
This life is just you

She moves her body to the song
The black lights hit her skin and she is perfection
They marvel at the sight of her
As she spins, her face is cool

Inside
Her heart is hurt, depression and lonliness
She winds and grinds to the beat
Her breast perfect proportion to her body
Her curves and **** all play together well
But her mind is shattered

From head to toe you would think perfection
She flashes a smile that you would think is genuine

She is lost
Torn
And broken

Would you truly like to see inside my soul
It’s desolate and dark

You don't know me
And I don't know you

You can't own me
And I can't own you

You say you love me
I think I believe its true

You won't leave her
Because youre scared of what I might do

You don't know me
And I don't know you

You can't hold me
I'm just a fantasy  

I'm what you want from her
I'm what you need from her

You don't want me
You want her

That's why you don't know me
Cause if you did, you will see I can never be her