You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot
For thirty years, poor and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to **** you.
You died before I had time ----
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,
Ghastly statue with one gray toe
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic
Where it pours bean green over blue
In the waters off the beautiful Nauset.
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town
Scraped flat by the roller
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.
My ****** friend

Says there are a dozen or two.
So I never could tell where you
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.
The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.
Ich, ich, ich, ich,
I could hardly speak.
I thought every German was you.
And the language obscene

An engine, an engine,
Chuffing me off like a Jew.
A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.
I began to talk like a Jew.
I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna
Are not very pure or true.
With my gypsy ancestress and my weird luck
And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack
I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You ----

Not God but a *******
So black no sky could squeak through.
Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,
In the picture I have of you,
A cleft in your chin instead of your foot
But no less a devil for that, no not
Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.
I was ten when they buried you.
At twenty I tried to die
And get back, back, back to you.
I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,
And they stuck me together with glue.
And then I knew what to do.
I made a model of you,
A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the *****.
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I'm finally through.
The black telephone's off at the root,
The voices just can't worm through.

If I've killed one man, I've killed two ----
The vampire who said he was you
And drank my blood for a year,
Seven years, if you want to know.
Daddy, you can lie back now.

There's a stake in your fat black heart
And the villagersnever liked you.
They are dancing and stamping on you.
They always knew it was you.
Daddy, daddy, you *******, I'm through.

Shame, what is it?
How does it come about.
To have the knowledge that you lost control.
A silver tongue, an impulsive act.
Fingers stretch as they reach for the heavens, chained below and drowning.
Morals are lost and forgotten,
You dance high and above clouds,
Naked as the sun.
Shining in all it's glory.
Ashamed of what?
What purpose does it hold but to make you miserable and cold. Conforming to societies regal and old.
Traditions that make us feel disgusted with our own bodies, our own souls.
We are beautiful,
No matter the flesh or the eyes or the hair, we are beauty, no matter the size or the height.
We are.
We are.
Unashamedly beautiful.
So smile.
The clouds may rain,
The sun may hide,
The air is cold,
But that's the beauty of it all isn't it?

The Dybbuk speaks,
He paints himself in red,
His anger flows as styx does,
Long and never ending.
Raging within, he screams in agony.
Lost in darkness.
Did you pray to him, the day he died?
Did you try to save him, the night he gave in?
His candle blown out by the winds.
Into Erebus he walks, and in it he will remain,
until he finds a host he can obtain.

And it gets harder to say the words I want to say.
They get stuck half way up my wind pipe
And I choke on their jagged edges.
I find my fingers back in my mouth, gnawing at the finger nails I tried so long to grow out.
Where has my breath gone?
Where has my courage disappeared to?
My will,
no longer a thing,
overcome by blurred childhood memories.
So I sit quietly and observe,
In envy at those with a voice.
In envy at those with a courage and will that blazes as hot as the sun.