When I was little
I was scared
Scared of the monsters living under my bed
I used to hide, under my blanket
Under my blanket, I was safe
The monsters couldn’t reach me under my blanket

My parents used to say
The monsters would go away
I would grow up and that then they would leave

But I grew up
And the monsters didn’t leave
Turns out my monsters, grew with me
Now instead of under my bed
The monsters live inside my head

So I hide, under my blanket
Where I think I am safe
Wondering if after all this time
My blanket can still keep the monsters at bay

What broke you
is the same that made you

The knife that cut you
Also cut the hedges blocking your view

Bleeding and on the verge of your end
The light showed you a way

And so pick up the knife that will end you
To cut out the future from today

weakness is the bane of my existence.

if strength were an equation,
my weakness would negate it.

please just let me be strong.

i've made so much progress, after all.

weakness is a Demon
i can’t control.

a Demon that will swallow me whole.

People are constantly changing,
hell, I’m changing,
and I can’t stand it,
the earth is moving,
stars are colliding,
love is found and love is lost,
some cry while others die,

and I'm losing everything,
my friends are in the mountains, while I'm drowning in the lake,
my families across the ocean, that I’ve been trying to overtake,
and I still don’t have a place to call my home,

I sip my tea, and smoke one,
I’ll call it a day since no one called,
I’m not the same, and that’s okay,
I'll grow into a better me,
step by step,
one day I’ll learn to just “be”.

I can’t love myself,
but I still need to be okay,
because all I need is to survive,
and love won’t always get me by,

people leave in the coldest ways,
and one day I’ll want to leave myself,
and break my own heart,
because loving myself was a joke to start,

I won't drown in self hate,
but I refuse to live in a trap and deprecate,
maybe now the sun and moon could agree,
and let me live somewhat happily.