I don't believe in love
the same way I don't believe in god
how could I put my faith in something I can't hold in the palm of my hand?
maybe that's why I got so tired of my hands always coming up empty when I tried to grasp the idea of love
I still haven't met God
but I imagine your lips and heaven feel pretty similar
and I still don't know if I put my faith in you
whether I should call it love or religion
but I do know that if love is real
it can be molded into the shape of the devil’s smile
and I've yet to learn the difference between your hands and hell
because even burning love leaves behind oozing blisters
and I've yet to find a saving grace to stick around to mend my wounds

"A one-way ticket to space, please."

"These coins can’t get you anywhere"

I poured my silver lined heart
on the desk

"Ma’am this is all I have"

“I am afraid that is not enough"

I plucked my crystal tears
drew the rubies in my veins

I picked out my pearly eyes
they rolled like silk into her hands

"Enjoy your trip"



But

As I stood on the observation deck

Before the inky canvas
freckled with glistening stars

I realised

I had no

Eyes to see
hearts to please

Not even a tear to weep

Just a vessel
With a metaphoric soul

And a one-way ticket to space.

You talk so lightly
Like fresh air in fog,
You were my vision
Through absolute blindness.

You were the world
That revolved around me,
You made me fill in gaps
That were missing inside.

You made me feel
Like nothing mattered,
When you had me,
If you'll have me.

But you made me crash
In the fog that I tried wandering,
You made the world crumble and fall
Beneath and above these walls.

You made me feel
Like nothing mattered,
But nothing did matter
Anymore when you left.

I'm still shaking and crawling
These walls that disappear
Around my feet and heart,
As I look below I see emptiness.

As I fall into a never ending drop
Of uncertainty I look back up
But hold my arms towards you
So you can catch me as I go.

But you only caught the fingertips,
Of my love.