My lack of
Currency
Makes me worthless

In the worst way

Makes me
dispensable
   Disposable

Low and behold
I never thought
I'd dig myself

This deep
A hole

Oh No!!!

How
can
something
smell
so
sweet
yet
taste
so
bitter?

Oh Happy Day
What a very Happy  day
Now, how many laps do I have to take
And how many acts could I actually save
til I one day savor it
Here, take your HATE you can cradle it
Ive been an angel of patience
still stuck in prayer
Theyll say
she is so much safer
without the danger there
waiting to break
her
Pain is simply in her nature

I guess I should thank you
For the solitude
I definitely do
Deserve some me time

Closure
Is an illusion
Science shows us
Life is constantly
In flux

Cant keep waiting
On a certain moment, event,
Or epiphany
To button up our suffering
In a neat little package

We've hung on to this hope of
AFTER
Only "AFTER" is when I'll be healed
Enduring days won't be devastating
And suddenly I'll be this beacon
Of strength, I'll be able to endure anything

In truth,
Grief's a heartache
That never really goes away
The brain starts to play
With what's "fact"and whats "fake"

If this is the way
Then where am I going?

Eyelids
like cinder blocks
The constant want
Never been so ex-haust-ed

Jaws
Stay clenched
Careful what you wish
Could you be a bit more present?

Nails
beyond bitten
become
scratches, scrapes, and sores
inflicted
I get a rush of destruction
Everytime I dig them

But now that theres a
Purpose,
A point,
A *** to ****,
I can't slink back into the upset
After meeting contentment
..even flashes of happiness

Found love with someone who is  just as ****** up
But worth the struggle
It takes to save them

Let it stream
Be believable
be-come a beacon  an
What am I butta heathen

So to me **** talk is a cakewalk
I'll chalk it  always
Straight up Block it outta memry
Non-stop
Vestiges

I Never been so
Non- chalant
Null in void
So numb to it


But sometimes heaven hits

... And after a billion epiphanies
A weakened soul
Can be made redeemable
All on my own now