it drips from the bottle
and into your
mouth
which spouts words
with no regard for my
feelings
that you don't know how to address
without alcohol kissing your
lips
that form sentences
with a mind of their own
uninhibited by their flattery of me when they were
  sober.

it agitates your face
as it rests in your
hands
that used to hold mine and it
glazes over your
eyes
that used to light up when they saw me
or when they heard my
name
that you can hardly stand to speak
without alcohol
dancing on your
breath
that doesn't render sounds
without cheap courage summoned
  up.

it depresses your
mind
that I used to find intriguing
as it was paradoxically
kind with a quick
wit
that no longer aims
to make me laugh
but is now restrained by the liquor
label
that you plastered to yourself
without concern -
would you even stop
if your own bottle said
  please?

How beautiful can it be?
The chaos of oddyssey,
That I thought was a misery,
Turns out to end in serenity.
When It all started within me,
To where I thought I was free.

A silhouette inside me who brings bliss.
It whispered saying, "join me in the abyss."
What harm can it do, so I agree,
It's fun and beautiful, like a fantasy.
I wish this could not end,
"It won't" said the silhouette friend.
Suddenly, my reality, it's burning!
As if my life is decending.

Someone save me, please!
My reality is not at ease,
I'm stuck at this disease.
Help is what I seize,
Look, i'm down to my knees,
Begging to exceed.

Is my shadow talking to me?
He brings a monster so scary.
It attack and demanded,
My comfort and joy, I handed,
It smiled and stop, he finally fade.
Why such sacrifice must be made?
The monster left me in peace,
Giving me life that I please.

How beautiful can it be?
So this is what they call reality.
A journey that you must see,
Where you practice vulnerability.
Embracing your tranquility,
The true path of serenity.

Joy, it caught me content,
Hopping, smiling.
Overflowing emotion,
Moved,
Restless,
Thoughtful,
Full,
Happy,
Truly, if only for a moment.
I wish it could last,
And perpetuate itself
Consistently,
Continuously.
But, content with the present,
I hold, marked consistently,
A memory present in the future,
A certain present.

Five years passing slow
love was never truly there
just a borrowed dream

Words once sparked the night
now drown in the quiet void
hearts speak different tongues

Each step feels like stone
a duty bound by routine
the spark long faded

"Reach for the infinite sun,"
She said, yet pulling the heavens
gravity of doubt

Two worlds side by side
beds cold, the nights stretch endless
their hands never meet

What is left but hope?
A tether to something gone
His mettle whispers, "Stay."

My eyes are like my fathers,
So is my heart,
No matter how much I try to undo myself,
or pick me apart,
He is a piece of me,
My bitter half.

Societal dependency
A disease disguised as validation
Ruling out the subjective truths
The indifferent Universe
Testament for choosing
An autonomous path
Being in the dark, is not a valid answer
For exploration of one's might
One may suffer incessantly
In order to lift the doors
One can never reach the zenith
By succumbing to the norms.

The silent star gazing back at me
Revealing the planted darkness
Creeping up my mind
But when did it get there
Certainly not at birth.

Toward Left or toward Right
Each with advantages and disadvantages
Canceling out the ultimate reward
Of coalescing with Creation
Hence, what must one do
To rise above the mist of understanding
The key lies in the fist of defiance.

I am a rebel with a cause
Forging ahead with the enlightenment
Of conforming crowds.