Guilt eats me up
Serving 'my heart'
as the main course

breaking at your
whole hearted trust
Each second hurts
Drink up my insecurities.

Wanting to be open
But can't stop now
Thoughts stuck within
No mouth to brain connection.

Put the moment on hold
Enough to make me squirm
My brain screaming
Come back later
'Do not disturb'

Shut down
Water, drown.
Severed connection
Zero detection.
Self-destruction
Darks *seduction.

Like oceans in the sky the clouds gently kiss,
Bending and swaying, guided by the moon.
They dance carelessly, twisting and blending
within an everlasting blue.

The noises of the street seem encased within my own conch shell.
My breath is tossed by tides of white foam as birds swim overhead,
ducking and diving, taken by a current underwing.

As I ponder, I see the lights, specs from above,
reminding us of possibilities of existing life.
These ***** of light twinkle and fade by morning
as they are greeted with light blue hues,
hiding
until their awakening sun invites them to shine once more.

And I am below the surface, as waves of sweet oxygen rush in to greet my starving lungs.
I stare upwards at our very own ocean skin, and think about the beauty held at the depths within.

The universe surrenders only to a mind that is still,
and my thoughts often wander off the edge of the world.

I find comfort in the bottom of a swimming pool,
the streams of light overhead
quietly drinking in the water,
lapping at this microcosms feet.  
The familiar weight
in my ears drowns out the noise,
The coolness against my soft skin
feels weightless and beautiful
the eventuality of breaking the surface
is almost sorrowful
No one can touch you here,
like a stone you sink slowly,
you are cut free from the ties
that have held you for so long
and just like the tiny bubbles
you'll race towards the curving surface
and into the light
and realise you were never meant to breathe here.
Not long is left and you break through,
only wanting to escape
back to where everything
was so clear, and so simple.
But, although out of the water,
and into the hands of a new morning
the fingers still curl around your neck,
and you realise
you’ve been holding your breath for a long time
and you're still holding it
And you wonder
if you’ll ever breath again.

My monsters crushed me
with their unsuspecting weight
hidden deep within the sadness
of my ever changing eyes
I wouldn’t expect most to understand
this constant, pressing heat
that has the power to take away
the beauty of a morning sunrise
But to be alone was what i knew
with secrets i was dying to say
with my burning heart desperate
for you to knee **** me back
to clear skies and brighter mornings
where i'll sing softly to myself
not wanting to speak my thoughts
to another soul, but you.
This perception might be distorted
by feelings and ‘the word’
that has not yet crossed our lips
as if its some sacred creed.
But i am a desperate writer
as many of us are, just
trying to convey thoughts
of a particularly long night,
where all i really want,
is to be next to you.

The thing that *****
About relationships
Is that you either break up
Or get married
To be honest
I am not quite sure
Which terrifies me more.