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The Black Raven Feb 2016
Midnight madness runs across his skin,
and glides deep within his veins as
twilight eyes watch from afar,
hollowing him from the inside out.
The Black Raven Jul 2014
I have written words crafted
with tears and love
you were my colour
but every chapter is
a new beginning
you’ve turned your page
and i now have to follow
so goodluck on your journey
and i hope
and i pray
that i will find someone
one day
who reminds me
of you.
The Black Raven Jan 2015
Throat is closing
stomach churning
lips wet
mind is burning
shaky hands
scratch your nose
distract yourself
adjust your clothes
knee ****
small sigh
eye twitch
tongue tie
swallow hard
calming sound
taking over
downward drown
The Black Raven Nov 2014
Beams of light explode over the soft sand,
i can feel the warmth on my face as i sit on the beach,
sinking softly into natures warm bed.
The light seems to turn everything it touches
into a glowing ball of light,
as if god himself is smiling down at the dawn of a new day.
The beach is deserted apart from a few seagulls
that seem to share this enlightened appreciation.
I grab my board and walk slowly towards the sand,
my feet sinking into the grains,
feeling the consistency change as the water laps at my ankles.
My wetsuit keeps me surprisingly warm
as the cold water rises slowly, and i close my eyes,
holding my board under one arm.
I smell the salt, the fresh air, this is what beauty is.
I wander in, losing myself in this new environment.
I duck quickly underwater wetting my hair and face,
floating weightlessly in the water for a second,
before rising, feeling fresh as i grab my floating board and straddle it.
Leaning forward, i can seeing fish scatter
as the first wave washes over me
like a tilde wave of emotions and stress,
i wipe the slate clean,
i am the tabula rasa and this is a new day.
The Black Raven Jul 2014
The best kind of laugh is one that
is unexpected and, like love,
starts with a trickled and gains momentum.
cradle that laugh, and help it become something
more extraordinary, beyond words, just with a look
and while you can’t breathe
and yet it’s not panic you feel,
but a lovely warmth and fondness for the old friend
who has strayed from your broken heart for so long.
You’re glad he’s back, and indeed you can’t wipe the
smile from spreading across your face for the remainder
of the evening.
The Black Raven Jul 2014
The best kind of laugh is one that
is unexpected and, like love,
starts with a trickled and gains momentum.
cradle that laugh, and help it become something
more extraordinary, beyond words, just with a look
and while you can’t breathe
and yet it’s not panic you feel,
but a lovely warmth and fondness for the old friend
who has strayed from your broken heart for so long.
You’re glad he’s back, and indeed you can’t wipe the
smile from spreading across your face for the remainder
of the evening.
Laughter Love Friendship Important Life Broken
The Black Raven Dec 2014
Alone, as it started, as it should be.
Into his hands i pass, gently.
His sand seeps into my eyes,
gritted and foreboding adventures await me.
18, the number of adulthood,
but never yet have I felt more a child in an adults world.
Judged as a mature spirit, that still heaps milo with milk,
and i sit, as the last hours of my childhood roll swiftly away,
tumbling, slipping through my open hands.
It pangs me with a sudden sadness that, I
finally an adult, have no constrictions  to surround me,
only a number of roads, on which to start my adventure.
The Black Raven Jul 2014
I grew up in a small home town
with green hills and widespread plains
a child of sorts, not yet eighteen,
country blood ran through my veins.
My sister would sit down by the creek
with jars and nets to fish
tadpoles  would scatter, i stood guard,
squander, squirm, squish.

My mother baked all day and night
her apron, greasy and worn
she made me learn her secret tricks,
to make sweet breads and corn
My granddad liked to take me out,
teach me things a man should know
the gun had clicked, my tears came out
Reload, click, blow. 

My brother on the other hand
Had fists that were fast and mean
He would lighten his step and slyly smile
his body muscular, tall and lean
When they came for us i saw the fire
blazing furiously atop my favourite hill 
the guns were loud, the screams were worse
Reload, click, ****.

Defense was key, the men had gathered
i was thrown a gun and called ‘man'
my dad had nodded, my grandfather argued
this wasn’t part of the plan.
I wasn’t ready for that first fight,
not something a boy should have known
like tadpoles everyone had scattered
cold, wet, alone. 

When i saw his face i remembered that time
my mother and taught me to cook,
my brothers fists, my sisters nets,
that small, cold, trickling brook,
my grandfathers words, his steady hands
which had wiped my tears away
i knew his job, i knew his thoughts 
Bow, sniffle, pray 

But the reload i noticed didn’t come, 
there was no deafening noise
the gun stood still, his face looked scared
like me, these were only boys.
I won’t forget the way he had starred,
or the way his gun fell down, 
this child of war, this filthy face
stare, blink, frown.

He had grasped my hand, and pulled me up
leaning me on his shoulder, 
had taken me to cover, saluted one hand 
He had looked a hundred years older.
Battle had raged, that night long ago,
my medals polished and won,
but i shan’t forget that man of war
brother, sister, son.
The Black Raven Sep 2015
Wide-eyed girl

heart in full flight

eyes like tracers

reddened with night

then found myself

tangled in green

unable to escape

stuck in-between

weighed with longing

heart set in stone

wolf wanders closer

through grass overgrown

promising forever

begging to let go

holding my gaze

is he friend

or is he foe
The Black Raven Sep 2014
I find comfort in the bottom of a swimming pool,
the streams of light overhead
quietly drinking in the water,
lapping at this microcosms feet.  
The familiar weight
in my ears drowns out the noise,
The coolness against my soft skin
feels weightless and beautiful
the eventuality of breaking the surface
is almost sorrowful
No one can touch you here,
like a stone you sink slowly,
you are cut free from the ties
that have held you for so long
and just like the tiny bubbles
you'll race towards the curving surface
and into the light
and realise you were never meant to breathe here.
Not long is left and you break through,
only wanting to escape
back to where everything
was so clear, and so simple.
But, although out of the water,
and into the hands of a new morning
the fingers still curl around your neck,
and you realise
you’ve been holding your breath for a long time
and you're still holding it
And you wonder
if you’ll ever breath again.
The Black Raven Nov 2014
Make
your
Next
move

Two. paces. forward.
three. paces. left.

New position
protection of the weak
inferior to the mightier.

One. pace. forward.

disposable
casualty of the battle
slice me open
take me into the other
with your strong hand.

Zero. paces.

Stay seated
and think ahed,
safe,
behind the wall of marble bodies.
DO NOT let them in.

None left.

Battle won.

Take me away to remind me,
that at the end of the game

the king and the pawn

are still put away

in the same box.
The Black Raven Jan 2016
And she sat alone
In some filthy bar,
surrounded with smoke covered dreams,
Sweaty men
And bottomless drinks.
Aching for what she had lost,
All the time
wondering
if she was pretty enough
or smart enough-
And while she sat
she realized
That no one ever was,
and no one ever could be.
The Black Raven Nov 2015
snapshot memories
lay scattered in silence.
An abundance of unclean
and hazy lives interconnect
before me, dodging and weaving
in disarray
some overlap
and others steer far apart,
but all are destined to be something.
And far apart from these, my life;
a torn edged, blurry photograph
lies in the middle,
moon light burns its edges
and sunlight fades its image
wind and rain thin its paper
but still it remains;
with possibilities beyond
what i or anyone else can imagine,
and so i sit from afar
gazing at this wonderland..
this ancient ritual of connections
that we call life,
teary eyed at its condition
and in this
try to find comfort in my
constant confusions.
The Black Raven Nov 2014
Wrestle* your demons to the ground.
Cage the words of hurt and violence,
but keep your eyes steady on mine.
Feed your anger to the dogs
dig up the past and come clean,
struggle against the sound of truth.
But keep your eyes steady on mine
The Black Raven Mar 2016
I know you're awake right now

and i’m still up, thoughts in overdrive.

I knew I was wasting my time,

but feathered brains speak in dissonance.


I knew you were gone months ago

with the wind as it guides the clouds,

laughing with sunshine and dabbling with the dark

as careless as you know I cannot be.


I stood grounded in mud, and you

kicking up dust on your heels

as you skipped away into the moon,

and I asked aloud why you left

but the pavement didn't answer me.


Silence filled me up like a ringing in my ears,

and it tasted like blood that I meant nothing,

and so I watched you drive away

and I said nothing.
The Black Raven Aug 2014
Something innocent and pure as this
a common flower of lowly birth
darkened by the suns sweet kiss
stands alone on a lowly earth
Its bright centre, a nugget of gold
for a child whose face is overjoyed
to pluck this gem, away from mothers scold
and keep it hidden from a whirlpool void.
And i watch intrigued by this slow connection
of all flowers this is her only selection.
Of every beauty in summers bloom
the soft hands reach this lowly plant
it gives off not one hint of a sweet perfume
still her steps steep into a gregorian chant
as religiously her chain has started
links to links and stem to stem
each flower together cannot be parted
a living show of natures gem
The Black Raven Jul 2014
Memories of past present and future invade my personal space, strangling me with their claws of deception.
I struggle against them, desperately trying to escape, the impression they leave suffocating and reaching with long tendrils for my most inner thoughts.
The darkness is almost touching me now, dancing, playing, teasing. Just so slowly spreading into my world and my life.
I can’t control it, only decide to live with it, understanding it and fighting it every day. Until i can’t fight it anymore, and then the small light which was burning slowly, was fading fast. It was close to me now, circling dangerously, i tried to escape but found myself jumping into the void, greeting it as an old friend.
The Black Raven Nov 2014
I wonder if you knew, she liked mint ice cream
and would sing every day in the shower,
that words could hurt her more than you would know
because inside she was as fragile as a flower.

I wonder if you knew she used to be happy
and her laugh could brighten a dull room,
that she could write and paint and draw and be
like light reflecting flowers  bloom.

I wonder if you knew she had nervous ticks
and could tie her hair with one bobby pin,
that your constant pressing weight on her world
caused those tares and holes within.

I wonder if you knew she stayed up all night
constantly daring herself to be stronger,
letting her pain out the only way she knew how
the deeper the trench, the longer.

I wonder if you knew she had race track arms
and pain within her bleeding heart,
but no one knew, and no one asked
her canvas of light now fading black art.

I wonder if you knew that you were the cause
of something so deep and so painful,
can you live with that? think you could do it?
knowing the girl was always an angel?

I wonder if you know she had broken wings
and your actions drove her to extremes,
and now I can only hear her in my head
and see her in my dreams.

I wonder if you'll know, years from now
when you’re teaching your kid to play nice,
that she also used to be happy and free,
but for that, paid the ultimate price.
The Black Raven Feb 2015
It seems she denied to the end
the source of the cataracts on her eyes
the cracked and suppurating skin of her finger-ends
till she could no longer hold a test-tube or a pencil
She died a famous woman denying
her wounds
denying
her wounds came from the same source as her power
An absolutely beautiful section of work byAdrienne Rich that personally resonated with me.
The Black Raven Nov 2014
The canvas on our walls,
help me remember you,
our story sinking into mesh
ink captives speak in hues

Can I shelter your barricaded soul?
or disarm you with my words?
following the path we’re making,
and paint, our greying skies with birds.

Or break down your paper barriers,
fading words in and out,
ill follow your heart anywhere
of that there is no doubt.

So colour me in with our truth,
and walk me through life’s gate
because this is our story my dear,
and our truth is our fate.
The Black Raven Jan 2015
Chris, a boy whose smile
Can make your heart melt
Like Ice cream on your face
Recipy for a great date;
-laugh so hard you snort
-shove ice cream in eachothers face
-chase eachother around a park
-Acting like you're 10 years old
The Black Raven Aug 2014
i’m an addict because he told me so,
confined me enough so i couldn’t grow
shut out my light, my family and friends
it’s way too late for apology and amends

i’m not beautiful because he told me so,
and alone i sat, because i didn’t know
that his words affected me, cut to my soul
he dug out my heart and left a giant hole.

i’m not funny because he told me so,
my quirks were stupid, he would know
and no smile cracked, no lips touched
so why to this man did i desperately clutch?

Because i am an addict, but an addict for life
slowly excavating his cavernous knife.
because i am beautiful, in my own sort of way,
he will not be the sun on my rainy day.
Because i am funny, and quirky and weird and
i love myself most and for that i am revered.

Never again will he effect me so much
i will never miss his cold hardened touch
or his blank face and cruel, ugly heart
and i swear he will never more, tare me apart.
The Black Raven May 2016
"see you around..."
The last words I spoke to you,
and I saw that look in your eyes
when you looked at me
A sad smile, a sad look,
like you were Tod
and I was Widow Tweed
A bonnie and clyde
dismantled by
something as simple
as a heartache.

And in that moment,
I felt our connection fray,
and I was no longer
grasping at threads,
trying to keep us together
like I said I always would.

I'm sorry I broke that promise,
but you broke a hundred of yours first.

I turned away away,
trying to keep myself together
Still, my heart resisted,
and I compromised,
glancing to where you were
only to see empty space.
The Black Raven Jul 2014
i feel your breath moving up and down slowly
your face, tranquil and untouched
i stare for a while, just enjoying this moment
your arms surround me like a cloak of warmth
your breath on my neck, sending shivers by my spine
you tighten your arms slightly, letting me know you’re still there
i have never felt more safe, or more at home,
i breath in your smell, drinking in your heat
my world at this time defined by yours
but you will never know
i can never give you that power
The Black Raven Sep 2014
The universe surrenders only to a mind that is still,
and my thoughts often wander off the edge of the world.
The Black Raven Jul 2014
I went to visit a friend today
but thats obviously nothing new,
i saw her home, cold and wet
and around it, briars grew

i walked towards it hand on my mouth
the rain just started to fall,
but i didn’t cry out, not a word to spare
feeling oblivious and really quite small

i saw her in the flowers thats grew
in the sun and in the trees,
her laughter whistling through the wind
that old soft summer breeze

I imagined her smile, that warm touching voice
or the way her brain seemed cuttered,
her touching heart, her beautiful soul
the way my heart had fluttered

i didn’t want to forget, that angel face
or the way her clothes had smelled
her comforting touch, her helping hand
the secrets her eyes had withheld

As i sat next to her new home
‘Abigail-grace, with love-
devoted daughter, mother and wife’
i clenched my jaw, let out a long breath
feeing old in this half life

I talked for a while, not sure how long
telling her about my day
the flowers i left were bright and fresh
as new clouds had begun to grey

I cried hard that night alone on my bed,
but thats obviously nothing new,
my home now feeling old and wet,
and around my heart clawing briars grew.
The Black Raven May 2016
numbed cracked hands
stretch through achy hearts
with cherry red stains
and thickening scars

grey clouded halos
above ripening heads
cattle crowds march
with eyes that are dead

bedded warm blankets
all useless in sound
with harbouring thoughts
strategically bound

so here I curl crumbled
like rocks into sand
and time slowly runs
like tears through my hands
The Black Raven Jul 2014
I resurface, breaking through the barrier of the microcosm with the reality of the above world streaming in already, filled with noises and bustle. I swim away from it, further and further i swim, far away from the humdrum colossal of human touch. I put my snorkel back on, and consume myself once more in the underwater world, its bright colours and unending life intriguing me as my head darts left and right, trying to take in as much as i can, see as much as i can. Minuets turns into hours, my skin starting to shrivel, time seeming at a stand still while my body tells me it’s time to reel it in, and slide back into reality. The wind was picking up at this point, the waves starting to crash over my exposed head as i tried desperately to dive under to avoid the currents. I told myself five more minuets, i had five minuets to enjoy the last looks at this world and then i would go back. I looked sadly at this world i could never truly be apart of, loving the feel of this noise of silence. I look around at each fish,  unconcerned by my presence they continue their search for food or shelter their colours astounding me with their brightness and for a second i am disorientated by so much beauty and perfection in one small reef. I look up as another huge wave crashes down, taking my body unwillingly with it, at this point any snorkeler knows its time to go. I flip up and dive down to the coral reefs arch as i swim through and notice a lack of life around the entire reef that moments before were bustling. I have enough breath at this point to look up and see the waves above swirling and breaking above me, the ocean looking dangerously calm from my perspective. I swam quickly through the cave-like entrance away from this utopia and suddenly my entire body is slammed down and then with the last of my breath escaping i was pulled upwards with an angry blow, forcing my entire body into the top part of this coral cave. My head exploded in pain as my flipper was ripped off my foot and panicking i tilted my head backwards into the reef which now seemed angry and bothered by my long stay as an observer. Disoriented i float, out of breath, my lungs screaming for air, the snorkel nothing now but an obstruction between myself and the surface. With my one flipper i push one powerful stroke out of the corals grasp, my head pounding, my arms aching and my one leg working hard to push me to the surface. The oceans watery tendrils pulling me, begging me to let go and stay with her in this parallel world of colour and white noise. She is so convincing, her sweet song entangled my already lifeless body, as if she needs to take away the cage, it is my soul she wants. The oceans tides crash for the last time down onto the warm sand while shadows from search parties lean forward stretching, yawning, almost touching me. But i am lost, forever confined to my watery prison, the water consumes everything in its path, before its shadows fully enclose what is.
Him
The Black Raven Jul 2014
Him
Just close your eyes
and feel it,
feel the warmth of his skin.
The mundane activities of life
pass you by unnoticed
because in this moment
there is nothing you want more,
nothing you’d rather be doing.
If only this moment would last.
Careless, only noticing your breathing
and the feel of the grass
as you trail your finger though it
And you know its yours.
Beauty beyond what you could imagine,
seeing it in everything, the light,
leaves, trees, him. Its all there
waiting for you.
The Black Raven Nov 2015
The hole in my chest is condemned.
Not only by my hand but the hands of others who place loose bandaids over the hole they've left.  
together they all lay,
carelessly placed across this cavern of darkness,
Some placed taught, but weakened over time by none other the pitter patter of my heart beat.
I am my own worst enemy.
My thoughts wearing down the strung mesh placed over the open wound, and as I watch the bandaid wither away, I try and convince myself it'll heal better in the open air.
The Black Raven Jul 2014
i am sinking slowly, bubbles escaping my mouth, racing their way to the surface, competing towards their imminent death.

I watch, spellbound by their journey towards the sun. But i am not racing, i am not floating, i am sinking. Sinking lowly but surly towards oblivion. I am content though, feeling at peace with what is, what was and what could be.

The water starts to crush but i don’t mind, i take it as a blessing of sorts, i like this, condemned to be nothing more than what i am right at this moment. I like not being in control for once. I like the salted taste of the water as i watch the last bubbles force their way from my closed lips without my consent.

I close my eyes, feeling the weight of the water consume me and i slide back into the reality of my mind, encased beneath a blue world.
The Black Raven Oct 2014
Dusty,
music fills a sweet soul when
Hungry,
life grows from fingertips.
Torn,
shreds of the uninspiring
Write
words painted across skies.
Water,
The dead metaphors with ink.
Breathe,
life into the unturned stones.
Discover,
the bright flowers of imagination.
*Nurture
,
your ink and your blood alike
The Black Raven Dec 2015
She had magnetic innocence
that pulled people to her in tides,
people with broken lives
and shawshank prisons in their heads,
people with duct taped memories
bursting against the seams.
And yet..
she still wonders why
she cries in rivers
filled with their pain
and her own.
The Black Raven Jun 2016
Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed
and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart,
before the memories sneak out of your eyes
and roll gently down your cheeks.
The Black Raven Oct 2014
Doors of skeletons
and closeted fears,
framed insecurities
warn down for years.
Beds of monsters,
talons in the dark,
creeping closer
making its mark.
Sluggish bodies and
pots gone stale,
moulding diseases,
where strong bodies fail.
Salivating hounds and
sharpening teeth,
kettle of fluids that
drink underneath.
Clusters of death
and moans of life,
try to escape but
Instead twist the knife.
The Black Raven Sep 2014
Just lay with me
And let me tenderly
Squeeze out your pain.

Let the feeling of my body
Cradled next to yours
**** up your hurt.

My lips pressed to yours
Make me moan slightly
Soaking up your poison.

So just lay with me.

Intoxicate me.

Draw me in.

With your darkness.
It
The Black Raven Jul 2014
It
A never ending pool of life, things erupt burning into the darkness, a fireball in the black hole.
It lights up the sky, daytime.
Always wandering, searching for the other half. You feel helpless, something's missing.
Then one day, like a light had suddenly been turned on you find it. 
That light burning into the darkness, illuminated by your own imagination.
you forget meaningless experiences
You realize you have everything to loose now.
The more you gain, the harder it is to part with.
Life Love Finding Forgetting Gaining Parting
The Black Raven Nov 2014
The stars are caught in his eyes tonight,
lets capture them in glass jars
and hang them on our peeling wall
as reminder and a promise
of the taste of your laughter and mine.
It hums in our mouths
as we travel the world together
within our thoughts and words
spreading the warmth that lingers at
the latest of hours of the darkest night.
So pick a jar, my love, and open it,
plant the seed of our hopes and dreams,
water it within your deepest soils,
an exposed soul to a harsh reality.
Lets watch it survive the elements
within its protective crown of thorns
and grow into something
truly extraordinary.
The Black Raven Dec 2014
I live in the poetry I cannot write and
I dream in the forever I will not find.
The Black Raven Jul 2014
Dancing with the devil in the shadows
calm, corner of my eye, be still!
reek your havoc elsewhere,
for my warmth flickers at your touch.
I must ***** it out before it grows.
The smoke erupting is enough to put
me to sleep, with tendrils from which
I will never be free.
My heart is beating faster, like the ticking
of an old grandfather clock.
Silence is distant, but the shadows still surround me,
reek your havoc elsewhere spirit, I beg you!
no man chooses evil, the good he seeks
lies at a distance. But now my eyes are bending forward,
the moons somber rays not enough to keep me.
And here i lay, my head in the heavens, and
when i meet the catcher with his old weathered hands
i shall say 'come greet me sir’
and only then we shall both be free.
The Black Raven Oct 2014
Guilt eats me up
Serving 'my heart'
as the main course

breaking at your
whole hearted trust
Each second hurts
Drink up my insecurities.

Wanting to be open
But can't stop now
Thoughts stuck within
No mouth to brain connection.

Put the moment on hold
Enough to make me squirm
My brain screaming
Come back later
'Do not disturb'

Shut down
Water, drown.
Severed connection
Zero detection.
Self-destruction
Darks *seduction.
The Black Raven Aug 2014
Tightening, breathing
my heart still healing
shaking and hurting
subconscious flirting
lips crushing
violent blushing
knees weak
tears leak
roller coaster ride
emotional suicide
i want you more
my fatal flaw
The Black Raven Aug 2014
I cannot discover
and I cannot find
the proper words
to express my mind,
all my thoughts
flood out to you
and I wonder if you're
thinking of me too,
an empty page
and pen in hand
this could only be
No mans land.
Why is it the ones we shouldn't love, we love the most.
The Black Raven Jul 2014
I'm the observer, an outsider to the world. I sit and  watch.
The small child, eyes like shinning beacons.
They play silently. I cannot hear. I'm the observer.
Without them I would fall into the oblivion, the dark pit of reality.
This frightens me.

I'm the observer. I see her grow up, I see animalistic instincts,
I see it all. I watch people pass, unwarranted and alone I sit.
I cannot help feel invisible, maybe I am.
My only friend a small pigeon
Who seems to share my woe and disgust for the world.

People pass. I'm the observer. Nothing more and nothing less. Expressions range, each one having their own story,
I can see it all.
I suppose that's the burden of the observer, as an outsider to the world, lost and forgotten in a thought, a flicker, a moment.
Forgotten. forgot. forget. for go. for. go.
The Black Raven Oct 2014
Like oceans in the sky the clouds gently kiss,
Bending and swaying, guided by the moon.
They dance carelessly, twisting and blending
within an everlasting blue.

The noises of the street seem encased within my own conch shell.
My breath is tossed by tides of white foam as birds swim overhead,
ducking and diving, taken by a current underwing.

As I ponder, I see the lights, specs from above,
reminding us of possibilities of existing life.
These ***** of light twinkle and fade by morning
as they are greeted with light blue hues,
hiding
until their awakening sun invites them to shine once more.

And I am below the surface, as waves of sweet oxygen rush in to greet my starving lungs.
I stare upwards at our very own ocean skin, and think about the beauty held at the depths within.
The Black Raven Oct 2014
Twitching lullaby
Lay under the trees
Have your eyes opened
Bring me to my knees
Amongst moon and stars
See what I've seen
Keep tears in jars
Glitter and gleam
Missing in waves
Laughing in stream
Digging my grave
That's love at eighteen
The Black Raven Nov 2014
Remember me as you pass by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so you must be,
Prepare for death and follow me.
The original of this epitaph appeared in a European monastery, the verse is often rewritten in various forms on tomb and grave stones.
The Black Raven Dec 2014
That night, when you broke into my chest
I hadn’t ever felt that pounding within my breast
like a balloon burst against my ribcage pressed
and I was heaving through corrupted lungs
while you befriended mouths and others tongues
and I woke up like an animal with sinking teeth
a blade staggering from beneath its hidden sheath
And so the blood stained clouds I painted red
while I opened up and healed as it spread
this perfect disease that I so often bled
The Black Raven Sep 2014
I’m in a dream
could this be real?
close your eyes
let the darkness
seep into your lids,
now open them slowly.
Is it still the same?
yes
pinch your arm harshly
hold onto the skin
for a little longer that necessary.
Is it still the same?
yes
Then it must be real.
But i still can’t help feeling that
I’m in a dream.
The Black Raven Sep 2015
She lay in the bath, half asleep or half awake she wasn't sure, but the warm water floated gently around her infinitely. And just like the memories in her mind the water lapped aimlessly at nonexistent edges, spilling over, as if wandering off the edge of the world.  
She moved her hand carelessly to tuck an escaped strand of hair behind one ear as the water hugged the creases and crevasses of her body, all contained in a white bowl of serenity with the only disruption in her mind. She starred absentmindedly into the reflection in the water, a distorted and watery version of her blue eyes and curly hair, although somewhere inside her she knew she was beginning to feel more like her reflection every day. Her tear stained eyes stared back at her, the makeup smudges making her look skillfully tired and worn as though an artist himself had hand crafted her very face and in the process aged her 5 years. Inside she lulled away, wanting to melt into the water and never care about anything more than was necessary. The soft, happy, carefree side temporarily locked away, with a combination that even she did not yet know. Instead an emotional whirlwind of feelings, angry and powerful tunneled out, amplified by so much as a word or a thought. It was these moments that almost took her by surprise, as if it was someone else pushing these people out, in an attempt to avoid explaining. This was accompanied by feeling as though the world had given her everything to live for and everything to lose in one breath. Her ragged breathing had eventually softened to an emotional sigh of trembling lips as she reimbursed herself with more hot water. Feeling it burn on her leg she watched pink ovals appear,  stinging with regrets and pain, a constant wishing to go back and re do and apologies and pause and rewind and forward.
With a click of her heel she snapped the plug away, maybe in some attempt to also drain herself of her tribulations that had almost enveloped her entire bath. Watching the water disappear quickly, she was entranced at the waters escape, loving how eager it was to run away from her. And with this she felt relief, as though she could finally breathe.
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