I gave up so much for you.
My love for my job.
My love for a lot of music.
My everyday sanity when I clock in.
Why.
Just so we could talk everyday.
So you could put a smile on my face when my phone went buzz.
When I logged in so I could see your little picture say "Good Morning, how are you today?"
The littlest things I wanted, I was so willing to give up big things.
I just wanted to send you a clip of this, a sample of that.
But in return, I paid the price.
Now your little picture drives me to the bottle.
Can't stand the idea of my name in your head.
Plotting ways to escape seeing your name everyday.
But there's no way out.
And it's all your fault.
Yet, you couldn't even handle the guilt.
Poor excuse for a man.
Yet, I miss you.

The one job I loved
You took away from me
I shouldn't give you that power
But you've got me on my knee
Now every day is monotony
The light so far away
The amount the pain weighs
Trying to breath everyday
But water filling my lungs as I say
"This can't be the way"
I can't see a resolution
Sitting through electrocution
Of your words and your apology
I can see through the psychology
Lack of personal responsibility
You're pure juvenility
"I want to be friends"
But seeing your mistake gives you the bends
You can't have it both ways
That's the phrase that pays

you gave me a list

then I cant resist

to say what I mean

when I say you cant lean

to one then another

direction or other

Flippity flop

You took a big hop

We both took a leap

but you let the thoughts seep

into distorted perceptions

and lack of reception

I couldn't resist

but you were amiss

and left me for dead

when you looked ahead

instead of staying in the present

you made it unpleasant

I asked for consent

You left me to lament

all the small things
add up to big things
i cant take this anymore
blow my brains right out the door
say it aint so
please don't let me go
dont wanna know
all time low
just wanna go
dont wanna show
feeling so low
cant let this go

A child shoved in an adults body
Craftsmanship pretty shoddy
Spirals plus games I cannot play
Atonements I could never pay
Alone but not yet still afraid
Being told I should have stayed
A cascade of regret and yet
I'm the threat