i just wanted everything to be still,
but when you came it was really big dill.
you gave me a chill, a really big thrill;
nothing i could express,
because i was mentally ill.

We were going to talk for the first time in a while.
I doubt you will speak, I doubt you will smile.
But what do we know; we are juvenile.
I don’t want to defile,
but it went great,

Thanks for the smile.

the crisp edges satisfyingly crunchy.
i bit into half a blueberry scone still warm from the oven.
a new recipe you decided to try out.
it tastes delicious.
thanks mom.

I love you like lemonade.
You're so bitter
but I-I crave
the sweet taste
you give to everything.
And when I'm with you
my mind goes blank
like I can't explain.
I hate when you're away,
so don't leave me.
Only stay.

What if you never wanted
a person like me. What will
you do after that?

Do I wanna leave?
Or do I just wanna stay with you?
What’s the point of this whole thing
if I don't know what I’m gonna be?
What do I do with my life?
Where would I be without you?
Think my health’s important,
but how important could it be
if they’re shoving homework
down the throats of kids at 17?

I know I’ll regret staying in this whole thing,
but when it ends they’d all love me.
Doing it all for the wrong reasons.
Maybe one day I’ll know what’s right.
But what if it’s wrong
to leave?
What if this is what I’m meant to be
but I might come out of it dead.
Just wanna see what it’s like.
Could **** me just to save time.
It’s not worth the time if it cuts out years
of my life, due to stress.
The only reason to stay is for the "what ifs"
and nothing else, so maybe I should leave.
Not that that would be saving my mom any
money
But it’s whatever, I suppose.
I’m better than I used to be,
but I wasn’t built for this life.
Is it self-hatred to say I wouldn’t make it?
or is it protecting myself
from death by mental illness?

I’ll think it over, I still have some time.
Just feel like I’m misleading everyone,
not that they thought that this thing
was for me.
But what if it was?
Not that it has more positives than the opposite.
They asked me if I’ll leave
and I said maybe.
I just turned 15, and I think I might leave ib.

A- Always
L- Lucid dreaming
O- On
N- No Specific
E- Evening(s)

it was warm till the sun went down.
it could swim before it drowned.
it was happy before you made it frown.
it was me without a doubt.

People say time heals, but it's not the time. It's the new memories you create while you're apart.

It will always hurt; what you did to me. I forgive you, but that doesn't fix the pain.

People say we were mint to be, but we'd still be together if that were true.
I loved you, but don't you go breaking my heart.

Don't tell me I'm wrong for wanting love.
Don't tell me not to cry over people.

If I don't love who will love me. No one.
So... Don't tell me not to love because
all I ever wanted-

was to be loved by you.

i gave you my heart.
it became lonely, cold, dead.
i never liked a girl the way i liked you.
it was new.
i didn't know what to do.
so please forgive me;
please be my boo.

The brain becomes silent when the heart speaks.

You can’t spare a laugh
when I need one
to make me feel
that much better.

Spare a laugh
For me
When I need you
To lift me up
Into the clouds
Just for a second.

I killed someone for you; me.

My heart is whats keeping me alive, but it is also whats killing me.

I’ve been stabbed many times, but you aimed for the heart.

and just like that,
my girlfriend became
an acquaintance that
shares equal feelings
for me as i do for her.

its hard to smile when really all you want to do is cry.

composed of silence; a graceful heart dances.

you went to me; spoke words that weren't revolting. my heart breaking away from its old quiet ways.

the angels in heaven sang a hopeful song to cherish that a lovely day.

the next day the storm came, and washed it all away. the love, the heart, but the silence came to stay. the floodgates from down below break loose and my hearty heart heart cries in the shadows of sanctimonious.

the world ended that day. for i nor no one else expected what a vigorous storm. my hands shaking with the satin tears. fast as they fell.

the storm rushing from the floodgates of hell.

The little gnome had left the backyard.
For she had a different plan. She moved out.
I only wish I woulda gnome.

I was trying so hard to stay alive
that I wasn't even living.

Cada día dame tu abrigo-
Y no esta un regalo mejor que tu toque.
Ay, mi amor, cuando he estado contigo;
Ahora estas mi roque.

Y no esta un regalo mejor que tu toque.
Un día con mi amor sentía como muchos.
Ahora estas mi roque-
Nunca, no puedo dejar.

Un día con mi amor sentía como muchos.
La luna a mi sol.
Nunca, no puedo dejar;
Alrededor mi, tu vas.

La luna a mi sol.
Illuminas los noches más oscuros.
Alrededor mi, tu vas-
Y siempre lo estas.

Illuminas los noches más oscuros.
Ay, mi amor, cuando he estado contigo-
Y siempre lo estas.
Cada día dame tu abrigo.

My tears are something I refuse.
You make me tired just to lite the fuse.
I guess people are like plastic,-

Easy to reuse.

Oh, I had never created a piece of art
I was simply an invisionary that-
Made things how I saw fit.

Oh, and those bright eyes of mine-
My eyes were more forgiving than kind.
And isn't that what they always like.

Oh, the city, a year ago I visit-
Was the mark of a new beginning.
Missing things, go back just for the feeling.

Oh, to doing things for myself,-
Not what everyone else is wanting.
To the city with shorter hair-
And now my ***** are the only things flying.

Oh, to give what I can-
That is the recipe for
A philanthropist man.

Oh, short hair flowing in the wind-
And my finger on the cloud gate.
And my forgiving eyes are ready to forgive again.-
A toast to a new beginning.

Pero cuando estamos juntos,
Nada es malo. Todas las
Estrellas alinean y tengo
La habilidad a ser en mi estado.
No debo tratar, solo ser lo que soy.

it felt good to be full.
to know that for at least a day or two you wouldn't be starving.
to know that you still had at least a week before you would die of thirst.
then you know today is not the end. the last.

The gnome is small,
about 5 feet tall.
She stands beneath me;
Though somehow she stands tall.

If I am a tired dancer you make me
Want to dance again. This tired
Old waltz you ought not dance trice.
But I dare to dance it again. Just
for you, my love. Oh, how we move with
Such ease. So east to not get our
Legs intertwined if we do not wish
Them so.

A tear streaking down my face as I admired the truth about us.
We weren't a grand finale episode of Dancing With The Stars, but instead two lonely lilly-pads in the summer mist of a suburb we both call home. So natural. So elegant. Were so

happy; together.

And I am just the person that
Goes to sleep watching the titanic sink.
Oh, I find it so relaxing!
Oh, I am just the sadist- getting
Off on your misery!
Just as evil as you say dear- smiling
At your very tears.

And now I tighten the tie you tied
Around your neck for me.
The last time you tied it you told me
How your father taught you to tie a
Tie, but you could only ever tie it onto
Yourself first.
And how that- my dear- was the
Second best thing he ever did for you.
His death was the first.
“Oh my dearest father loved this song” you
Said- but was he anything dear to you?
And now I sit in the corner- repeating
To myself- did I do something wrong?

My name, which is growing in popularity as we speak,
Is mine and only mine, and all the others are fake.
But 2007 was really its peak.
Most people are trying to take,
What’s not theirs and make it great.
People make the name something that’s not the same.
Like dogs and cats.
They’re different and you don’t get them confused,
And when people get it wrong you slowly light your fuse.

It’s not their fault, and I know that to be true,
But everyone likes their name better,
And that’s what makes me blue.

My last name means hay,
Which is ok,
But then people say it wrong,
It just makes you grey.
You say the J sounds like H,
And they try again.
This time its better, but still not the the way,
You like to say
It.

i hoped i could see you again, but when i did, it ruined me.

sometimes, what you hope for the most is not actually what you want,
and that makes you cry because you thought you knew.

all i wanted was one good day. one.
but my day had been bad.
i played games.
by brother was more rude than usual.
my homework was due soon.
all i wanted to do was write.
i had a smoothie from the wholesale shop.
i then smiled.
i needed a nap bad.
the doggy ate my library book.
my temper was thin and fragile.
all i wanted was to be was alone,
on my own, agile as a dear.
just me, myself, and i.

i hoped i could see you again, but when i did, it ruined me.

sometimes, what you hope for is not actually what you want,
and that makes you cry because you thought you knew.

Wanting to whisper my worries to you when you won't listen.
How could you hate me?
You say you could never hate me.

Does you heart hurt at the thought of hating me,
Or does it make you laugh or pleasure ti'll you cry?

Have fun hating me before there's no me to hate.
After I'm dead you will wish you would have spoke.
Talk to me now before the time runs out.
Even if you don't care because later it will give you a scare.

My eyes begin to dry as I open up my eyes,
Efface yourself if this is true; that you hate me more than I you.

I wanted it so bad I forgot what I was looking for.
I forgot why. How, even.
it's like this was one big game I was playing in my head, that I'd never known how to play in the first place.
Scrambling to figure out.
But I couldn't,
so I just played by my own rules.