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The shadows seem real to me
Do I work for the KGB?
Why is the sun always following me?
If you will just let me be
I have schizophrenia
Or is it all just make-believe
I’m left living with schizophrenic tendencies
Trying to live this life-Maybe I’m ready for the next…..
I didn’t really wanna die
My life is one big mess
Take the blade away
Away from me before I plunge it deep
I’m contemplating suicide but only scratched my cheek
Yes, take this blade away from me
Before I fall down and black out
Agony is all I see as I turn to lash out
I promise I’m not afraid of the secrets that I keep
I’m left feeling kinda burnt out
Their haunting me
Like I’m some sort of creep
A monster
They’re watching me even as I speak
My mother believes that I’m a good son
She believes she can see past all the horrible things I have done
Little does she know
I’m not anything as good as her other one
The definition of failure
I don’t compare to the good son
I am the black sheep
Always on the run
The white ghost of all the horrid things I have done
Haunting everything in front of me
Made a mess of my life
Everything you see
Schizophrenia is horrible
A disgusting disease
In my head there is no room for me
A wolf in sheep’s clothing
To the sickness I am bound
Something is wrong with my head
I’d be better off dead
Just take the blade away from me
Stop the damage already done
I’m begging you on my knees
Which Version of me do you believe?
Schizophrenic catastrophe
I’m begging someone to help me please
Defeat the ghosts and demons that I see
All the pain that lives inside of me
I’ve struggled here for so long or  maybe I haven’t tried enough
I am a freak
Afraid to speak
All I really wanted was someone to believe
Just to give a little ****
I have waited here for so long but nobody ever showed up
There was a time not so long ago when my head hung down and my spirits were low
Forever in a funk and moving slow
I needed a pick-me-up to help me go
My spirits were crushed and I had no faith in trust
Down on myself and feeling pretty low
My back against the wall with nowhere to go
God came calling
He showed himself to me
In all of his glory, he made me see
How much better life can be……
If I believe in his story
Believe in his faith
Believe in the sacrifices that he made
I can live each day better than the rest
No longer broken beaten and depressed
I can live without worry
Without hate
In Jesus name, God is great!
Up until recently, when I was diagnosed with cancer, I had lost my faith and all belief in a higher power during that time of being faithless I was left, wondering what was out there for me when that day comes and at some point, I begin to realize it’s a pretty empty feeling I can’t tell you exactly what made me. Find my faith again but if you’re reading this poem, you can obviously see that it has entered my life once again in a big way, and I find comfort in knowing that there is someone watching over us, and when my time comes no matter how soon or far away that is, I will be at peace in the next life, even if you don’t believe in the good Lord above, just know that I am praying for you and I’ve got enough faith for us all.
Never laugh when a hearse goes by for you may be the next to die……
They’ll wrap you in a ****** sheet and bury you six feet deep until the worms crawl in~the worms crawl out~ they all start playing pea-knuckle on your snout
Your eyes pop-out
Your teeth decay
That’s the end of a happy day :-(
Never laugh when a hearse goes by

Unknown
Author unknown, there are many versions of this saying/poem this is the one that my dad always taught me growing up, and I thought I’d shared here for a good laugh
I brewed the coffee more for you than for me,
A ritual dressed in honesty.
The mug you left — I held it near,
Like touching it might make you appear.
I wrote you notes you never read,
Then tucked them back beneath my bed.

I set your place, then stared at mine,
As if routine could rewind time.
I’d hum your songs to fill the space,
Mistaking ache for your embrace.
But holding on can blur the view —
I feared what leaving meant was true.

And so today, I break that thread,
Not out of hate, but love instead.
I’ll drink for one, I’ll clear your cup —
It’s not moving on, it’s waking up.
© Copyright 2025 - Limes Carma
  Jun 13 Shane Michael Stoops
Moo
I eat the grain and rest till noon
For my will leaves me a bit too soon
At night I rejoice over a sight
Morally betrayed,with blood tumbling down left and right
Again I find my spirits have arose
My body ripens awaiting death like a chore
There is no love all left is shame
So I find myself unforgivable and unaimed
If I asked for your help, could you?
Would you lend me a hand
Understand
Could you Be the better man
Would you help me when I’m struggling?
Cancer is and extremely expensive, ******, debilitating disease that slowly destroys not only your body but your relationships, mental stability, and your  finances too. Since I’ve been diagnosed with cancer on April 10, 2025 I have already had to miss an average of three days of work a week and at this point I’m starting to really struggle financially. I do have insurance, but it’s still $400 every time I walk into the hospital  for checkups or chemo. Any help you could give would be greatly appreciated and if you can’t, God bless you and thank you for taking the time to read this . Please copy and paste this Go Fund Me link
And your Internet,  browser or search Gracie Stoops, Missouri Valley, Iowa at gofundme.com, thanks again!

https://www.gofundme.com/f/aid-for-my-dads-cancer-battle/cl/s?lang=en_US&ts=1749225111&utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link&attribution_id=sl%3Aaed289ea-dfcd-498f-8470-53bab9124cca
~
June 2025
HP Poet: Agnes de Lods
Age: 47
Country: Poland


Question 1: We warmly welcome you to the HP Spotlight, Agnes. Please tell us about your background?

Agnes de Lods: "My name is Agnes (Agnieszka), and I come from Poland. I grew up in the countryside, in a family rooted in rural and small-town traditions. My mother is a very intuitive person, and my father was always standing in the last row, quietly helping others, especially people with disabilities.

My parents gave me two ways of perception: seeing with the heart and with the mind. They didn’t have higher education, but our home was full of music, books, radio talks, and documentaries that showed the world in many dimensions. They helped me see that reality is full of tension and harmony, depending on what we pay attention to.

They gave me space to speak in my own voice. Growing up close to nature, I spent time observing, listening to the rhythm of the seasons. I learned humility, compassion, and what it means to face hard work and failure."



Question 2: How long have you been writing poetry, and for how long have you been a member of Hello Poetry?

Agnes de Lods: "In Polish, I’ve been writing for four years. In English, two or three. But in a way, I had been preparing for it all my life by writing, reading, and observing the world around me.

I started sharing my reflections on Hello Poetry in December, just a few months ago. For the first time, I felt ready to express everything I had kept inside for years."



Question 3: What inspires you? (In other words, how does poetry happen for you).

Agnes de Lods: "People. I love people. Every single person has a story. Sometimes strangers stop me in the street and start talking. I guess they want to be heard, and I love to listen.

Nature inspires me. And my dreams, too. Some of them come true, others do not. Still waiting for those lottery numbers to show up in a dream.

Books are also a huge source, just like music and art in all their forms. I am inspired by Karolina Halatek and Hania Rani, Marc Witmann, Umo Vide, Dror Elimelech, and Patricia Suarez (Colombian poet and painter), and many others."



Question 4: What does poetry mean to you?

Agnes de Lods: "Poetry is exceptional on every level. Metaphors express the unspeakable and have real power. They change the frequency of thought.

Poetry heals, invites contemplation, and opens doors to the many layers of human nature.

To me, poetry is sound, color, scent, even taste."



Question 5: Who are your favorite poets?

Agnes de Lods: "Sylvia Plath, Alejandra Pizarnik, Wisława Szymborska, Adam Zagajewski, Czesław Miłosz, Jorge Luis Borges, Pablo Neruda, Federico García Lorca, and many more.

I also read poems on Hello Poetry, and I am so glad to see many truly talented writers here. It means this world still has a chance."



Question 6: What other interests do you have?

Agnes de Lods: "I am fascinated by psychology and archetypes. I read Jung with deep interest.

I love sci-fi, deep conversations, walks in the forest, and learning new languages. But more than anything, I care about human connection and understanding.

I like to dance and play the piano, though I have not had much time for that lately. And I love connecting the dots."



Carlo C. Gomez: “We would like to thank you Agnes, we really appreciate you giving us the opportunity to get to know the person behind the poet! It is our pleasure to include you in this Spotlight series!”

Agnes de Lods: "Thank you so much for letting me share my story. I am so glad to be part of this community of sensitive souls. I feel good here."




Thank you everyone here at HP for taking the time to read this. We hope you enjoyed coming to know Agnes a little bit better. We certainly did. It is our wish that these spotlights are helping everyone to further discover and appreciate their fellow poets. – Carlo C. Gomez

We will post Spotlight #29 in July!

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