I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to live.
There is nothing more that this body can give.
I’ve lost the fight - I’ve been defeated
I deserve this - this is how I should be treated

This is excruciating, agonizing - downright unbearable
I hate myself and my life is ******* terrible

I just want to give up - throw in the towel
I look in the mirror and what I see is foul

Just let me go

Just let me be

Let me **** this body so I don’t have to struggle to breathe.

Sharing the cold

Walking through the mall
Just to be with someone around
People passing through me
I feel still so alone
Lovers everywhere
Hugging, kissing, holding hands
(Missing that connection)
People drifting by like sand
Coffee smells so good
But the taste me does elude
My heart is void of feeling
My body so cold

But my anger is hot
My life has been taken
Outside a late night club
Some thief with a knife
(It wasn’t even that sharp)
I still feel his breath in my ear
“Hand over your money”
The knife went in
Almost no pain
As it tunneled into my heart

I felt him take what’s mine
My money and my life
And toss me aside
The water in the gutter
Cold as ice

They found me the next day
I sat and watched
Some said I was easy
Some said “such a shame!”
Now I walk through people
I watch them shiver
I walk through people
Just to feel some heat
No one can warm me
My nonexistence is complete

I will find that thief
Who stole my warmth
I will show him emptiness,
(The worth of my hundred and thirty dollar price)
I will share with him my void
I will share with him my death

But for now I walk alone




RamblerOnTheGo

Ten, I need to hold back my tears
My anger, my sadness and my fears
Because I have a feeling that anytime
In this room, I will commit a crime

Nine, I can hear their voices outside
I have to stay here and hide
Stay quiet, stay unnoticed
Seal the pain, like what I have promised

Eight, let me see what is in this place
A chair, a table, a notebook, a lace
A lace? No, keep calm  you cannot lose
You should not disappear in these shoes

Seven, I noticed that the lighting here
Is as dim as my current year
The friends I had were the ones I lost
Maybe even the ones I care about the most

Six, I decided to look outside the window
If there is even any window
I cannot remember when and why it is blocked
I cannot remember when and why my heart is locked

Five, get a hold of yourself
What you are thinking of will never help
Why did you even thought of that?
I am so curious with the aftermath

Four, my notebook lies open on the floor
What is written in it? I am not sure
I get these thoughts and I write them down
Mostly the times when in my tears, I drown

Three, I gathered the lace, the table and the chair
I am still not sure with what I am doing here
I want to know what will happen
Will I stop, will I move forward or will I go back to where I have been?

Two, I guess I cannot stay any longer
There is no reason left for me to stand here
Right now I am not angry or lonely
But I am also not excited nor am I happy

One, I attached the lace to the ceiling
Took a last look at home, if I only knew its true meaning
I wrote down my last words that may answer a question
So long to you, to me, and to these emotions

I beg myself, "Stay alive."
I am my own hero
And ******* it,
I want somebody to notice
The dying soul in my eyes,
The shaky voice,
The cold heart,
The scars on my wrists from an absent
childhood happiness
I'm drowning in a puddle,
Everyone looks at my collapsing lungs,
Too afraid to reach down
Save me
The words I scream silently everyday,
Hoping one day someone will hear
Save me
It's too late now
These pills look like a perfect
escape. -DDF

I called you at 1:19 A.M.
It rang for 15 seconds.
My heart skipped a beat when I heard you answer.
You hung up immediately.
Everything hurts.
I want to go home.

The only thing on my wish list is you.
                                        *Sadly, Santa isn't real.