Fluorescent lights at 3 A.M.
My thighs are shaking
Your hand is on the steering wheel
My heart is racing
Everything is fast
The world is ours
I didn't believe in Heaven
until I was tucked in your arms;
breathing in the warmth radiating off you
You were the forbidden fruit
and it was too tempting to deny
I didn't believe in Hell
until I saw you with her
I danced with the devil
and doubted all demons that whispered
my darkest insecurities in my ear
Jealousy creeped in
and I sold my soul trying to keep you
but I was cheated and you left with her
leaving me beneath the ground
we once stood on together
I didn't believe in God
until I was screaming His name
at 3:27 in the morning;
praying he'd lead you back to me
I shouldn't be in the shower at 4 A.M. trying to scrub your touch from my body and your words from my head.
I shouldn't be laying in bed every night trying to find a part of me where your fingers haven't been.
I shouldn't have to watch you be happy with another soul while mine has been lost since the day you left me.
I shouldn't have to listen to my music at maximum volume trying to drown out your voice from months ago telling me you love me.
I shouldn't have had to lose you.
You should've stayed.
I called you at 1:19 A.M.
It rang for 15 seconds.
My heart skipped a beat when I heard you answer.
You hung up immediately.
I want to go home.
My presence has left your heart the way the trees lose their leaves. Slowly and silently.
6 leaves fall, representing the months you came into my life and filled my mind with wishful ideas and mindless dreams.
The rest have fallen, the lively plant now just an array of cold branches, barren to the core.
The snow begins to fall, each snowflake topping the branches one by one. It gets heavier, colder, more feeble, aching to collapse.
After what seems like forever, the thing you promised me once before, the sun shines, and the snow is melted away, along with every memory and good time we've ever had. The leaves are back, now with buds of the flowers with the potential to create something much more beautiful than was there before.
Your presence has left my heart the way the trees lose their leaves. Beautifully and liberated.