You love
My rolls
And my curves
And my lumps
And my scars
I don't know why
But
You do

You kiss my cheek
And my forehead
And my fingertips
And my lips
I don't know why
But
You do

You desire my mind
And my soul
And my body
I don't know why
But
You do

You hold my hand
And my waist
And my face
And my hips
I don't know why
But
You do

You want me
And need me
And crave me
And yearn for me
I don't know why
But
You do

I didn't love you
I know that now
Hindsight is 20/20
And my rose colored glasses
Are off
The relationship ended
Long before
The official end
And I'm not sad
Because I never loved you
The way you loved me
And I should have left
Should have ended it
But I didn't
You hurt me
A lot
In many different ways
Just like
I hurt you
No one is to blame
Except both of us
But what we had
Is dead
Any sign of life
Is gone
And when something dies
You bury it
And move on

You couldn't
Seem to
Understand
Why I didn't
Write love poems
About you

But honestly
How could I
Take the time
To write
When I was busy
Being afraid of you?

I never liked
Blue eyes
Until I saw yours
Those dumb blue eyes
In your stupid ole head
That make me melt
And tingle all over
You have no business
Having eyes like that
So clear and blue
On the outside
With green and brown flecks
That hug your pupil
So ****** stupid
Stupid how good you make me feel
Stupid how hard I've been falling
Stupid how much I like being with you
Stupid that I can't say
Everything I want to
Because I get lost
In those dumb blue eyes

Visions of ****
And burglary
Dance around in my head
As darkness creeps over me
And I turn on all the lights
In my empty apartment
When you're not here
I toss and turn
Through the night
Popping sleeping pills
Just to catch a wink
Daydreams turn into
Night terrors
As the dog barks
At every little noise
Making me aware
Of all the scary things
Outside my window
Someone knocks at my door
But I'm not expecting company
Even with the deadbolt
I don't feel safe
In this big empty bed of mine
As I sleep alone

I fear the thought
of living without love
But more than that,
I fear the people
who are too afraid to love
because they'll never be able
to be real people
I fear these people
who choose to not love
because I don't know
if they're people at all

I've written
Hundreds
Of ****** love poems
For ****** guys
Who didn't mean ****
And now
I have someone
Who feels
Lucky to love me
And I'm choking
On my words
Stumbling over stanzas
Pushing out puns
I don't know
How to react
To something so good

You learn
To beg for love
When you're starving
You try to find it
In the darkest ******* places
And now
That I'm not hungry
Now that I'm being fed love
Served on a silver spoon
I keep waiting
For the knife
To come back out
When I least expect it