Sometimes I want what others have
Sometimes I dont
Sometimes I go the extra mile
Sometimes I wont

Sometimes I want what others had
Sometimes I dont
Sometimes I look at all thats good
Sometimes I wont

Sometimes I see life for what it is
So short and pointles
Sometimes I see life for what it is
So long and painful

Sometimes I know it's just a mood
Sometimes I wish that i just could
Sometimes I need to know what to want
Sometimes all of it is not enough

I haven't seen you in a while
Is it ok that I don't miss you?

This second quarantine is just fine
I don't mind the distance

You keep on telling me every day
That you want to see me

But I am good
I don't know why

This feeling is new to me
I've never felt so empty

At times I almost forget
Of your existence

I hear your voice
A midst some others, louder

I don't feel good
I don't know why

Sometimes I shut my feelings
I have to
Not to break

But my mind is an open circuit
A spark
Brings feelings back

And I scream so loud inside me
No!
Not again

That's not what I sould be feeling now
I try
I think I can

Now everything is tainted
The sadness
It's still there

The numbness dolls the feeling
It has to do
For now

Writing
Drinking
Thinking
Thinking

Eating
Drinking
Thinking
Writing

Sighing

I'm bored
You are giving all you got
The moves
The tricks

I'm looking for things
That I can count
Some lines
Some dots

You turn around
Now I'm on top
I need to fake some effort

I'm bored
I'm out

You’re down
an acceptable amount of pleasure
I close my eyes
I’m in the moment

I drift

I’m not here
It’s not you
Now I feel
The one that was before

I feel him
I smell him
I see the light
I hear the street

I miss your taste
Your thoughts
Your words
I miss the moments after

I’m back

Did you notice
I’ve been on autopilot?