I once loved a man
Who had two faces
Told me words of love and reassurance
Even showered me with praises

But his words never
Matched what he truly felt
Because it was only pain
Not love or care I was dealt

I once loved a man
Who never meant what he phrased
His actions burned me
Leaving me chared and scathed

Told me he’d be there
When I needed him the most
But when the moment finally came
I was left with a ghost

I once loved a man
Who couldn’t be what I craved
The cards he left me with
Were truly cruel and depraved

The lesson I learned
Was only I could save me
Not the man with two faces
Who called me his lady

Harsh Cold Winter

It’s a harsh cold winter
You’re gone and I’m so bitter
I sat front-row seat
As I watched our love wither

Heart gouged by the splinters
You’ve silenced your ringer
And my feelings for you
Oh, they still linger…

It’s a harsh cold winter
Choked sobs and silent whimpers
Sparks of love burned out
Leaving ashes and cinder

Sleepless nights
Bottles of whiskey
Skipped meals
My love, do you miss me?

It’s a harsh cold winter
I’ve always been an overthinker
Should I move on? Or reach out?
letting my healing progress hinder

Week old sheets that smell of you
Tears as wide as the ocean
People come and go
But all I ever wanted was your devotion

Stupid foolish girl
Your begging and your pleas
Will not set you free

You texted him again
No respect for your dignity
Your breaking inside
Can you not see?

Stupid, foolish girl
Can’t take abandonment well
Will you ever change
Only time will tell

You’re only hurting yourself
Hang up your hat
Take a rest
He chose to leave himself

Stupid, foolish girl,
but still, you fight to be free.
Perhaps not today, but someday you'll see—
you are stronger than your grief.

Can I die from a broken heart?
If I smile through the agony
Will it tear me apart?
Or will I somehow be ok?

If I drag myself out of bed
Clear the poisonous thoughts
Out of my fragile head
Will I somehow be ok?

Can I die from a broken heart?
Should I lay here and never leave
Or rise and focus on a fresh start
Tell me which do I choose?

When all is said and done
And I chose the latter of the two
Would that mean that he has succeeded?
In truly breaking me

If I must sink
Let it be
I don’t care
About decency

If I can’t have you
No one shall
I have no confidence
And no morale

My heart is cracking
My head aches
Don’t care about consequences
**** the stakes

If I must sink
Let it be
I’ve long accepted
There’s no saving me

Won’t live without you
Won’t carry on
By the time you read this
I’ll be long gone

Not by death
But I’ll lose my mind
You know what they say
Love makes you blind

I’m incapable of being the healthy
Women that you need
Breaking trust, promises
And even boundaries

But it is not because I hate you
Quite the contrary
You just can’t relate to
The world I live in

I actually love you deeply
You deserve so much more
Then what I can be
So please block and delete me

I’m incapable of being the healthy
Women that you need
You tried to save me
And I should have agreed

Instead, I choose to stay
In this misery
With endless abuse
Endless injuries

I asked you one last time
To just trust in me
You chose to protect yourself
Because I’m not healthy

And I don’t blame you…

Am I just a vessel? Or a shell?
A place for his hands to dwell
Even if I told him to stop
No one would believe me if I tell

My Mother, she trusts him
To watch me while she’s out
Would she hear my cries
My find fills up with doubt

Am I just an object? Or a shell?
To be taken by force
By a man who never asked
As he pinned me with no remorse

His hands were very forceful
I bet I was easy to impel
The dampness in my basement
Was all I could smell

Tired of sick feelings in my stomach
Welled up inside
I made a choice quite impulsive
I would not abide

I’m not his object, not his toy
So the next time he tried
I backed away told him no
And pushed him aside

A six-year-old daughter
Watched her first love walk out the door
For he made up his mind
Not to love her no more

Though he divorced her Mother
He never looked back
And that was the first time
She felt her heart crack

A 19 year old women
Fell once again
He then became the root
To her stem

So she let down her guard
And gave him her all
She thought that he’d catch her
Once she started to fall

But she waged all in
Not prepared for the stakes
And when he left her
She crashed missing the breaks

She vowed to lock up her heart
To protect it from pain
For love was a poison
She’d never thrice abstain

Can you meet me after midnight?
And just hold me close
I’ll show you a good time
And no one has to know

Don’t know if its love
Or more of a feeling
But if you show up
Wear something revealing

I’ll be your women
But just for the night
This doesn’t have to end up
With me in all white

But what if I want that?
Would it be wrong to want more?
We could share a love
That’s worth fighting for

I’ll meet you after midnight
And just hold you close
But what if I’m tired?
Of ending nights with no clothes

Would you be upset or angry?
If I spoke my mind
If I did would you still choose me?
If you could rewind?

So what if I want?
To be a wife that you flaunt
And not your lady after midnight
Sorry if I’m blunt