I’m scared to look into your eyes
I told you all along that I’m fine
with a big fat smile on my face
but now you’re asking me to look
into your eyes and tell you the truth
But I can’t cause you’ll see all the pain
that I’ve been trying to hide with my
big fat smile
And you’ll see the blur in my eyes
I’m scared because you won’t ever
be able to understand all the pain
that I’ve gone through in my life
so I will end up getting hurt and
even more scared to look into
someone else’s eyes
so I just go with a big fat smile
and *I’m fine

I can’t talk to you about this cause if I did
I would tell you that my heart is aching
and hurting so bad I just wanna rip it out
out of my chest with my own bare hands
I would tell you that I’m so depressed
that I sometimes wonder why I keep
fighting this battle with myself and I wonder
if it’ll ever stop hurting the way it does now
If we talked about this I would fall apart
and I don’t have time to fall apart cause
I’m busy holding myself together with tape and glue

*(s.m)

Everyone who has told me they
would always be there for me
have left
I’m done opening up to people
done trusting
I just end up hurting myself in the long run
But for some reason
I’m still hoping and waiting and praying
for someone who will care
honestly and genuinely care for me
someone who will always be there for me
and to hold me tight
wipe away my tears
and someone to promise me that everything will be okay
cause right now I don’t believe it when saying it myself

*(s.m)

everything seems to be pure hell right now
i just need someone to sit with me and
tell me that everything will be alright
and that tomorrow will be better
but now i’ve tried so many times
and no tomorrow is better
nothing changes
i’ve kinda lost hope in this
things won’t get better
not today, tomorrow or next week
but please just give me some more hope
and if you keep telling me it gets better
it will, won’t it?
cause you promised me you would be honest with me

*(s.m)

i’ve learned that it’s best to just not say anything at all
cause telling other people won’t help one bit
it won’t change the fact that your life is hell
yes, they can listen to what you say and feel sorry for you
but they won’t ever understand what you’re going through
it just hurts that they know all this about you now
and you thought it would help talking to someone about it
but they can’t do anything besides listen and that’s not enough

*(s.m)

i can’t cry anymore
it’s like there’s no more fluid in my body
i miss it though
feeling the tears streaming down my cheeks
and showing people how i really feel
but now they don’t have a clue
cause i can’t show them

*(s.m)